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#Post#: 1547--------------------------------------------------
Re: We have something you'll want, so NOW you decide to make
nice?
DIR By: stars afire
Date: March 13, 2012, 1:03 pm
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They called you a C-word?!?! :o And they are expecting you to
civilly communicate with them?!?!
F-word them. Ignore, ignore, and ignore s'more!
#Post#: 1637--------------------------------------------------
Re: We have something you'll want, so NOW you decide to make
nice?
DIR By: mynameisdumbnuts
Date: March 13, 2012, 5:26 pm
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Anyone who called me that word would be cut off faster than a
leg with gangrene. Whenever you get your item, don't tell them.
And ignore them if they approach you about it.
Unless the thing you're going to get is their sense of decency.
In which case, give it to them quick. :)
#Post#: 1638--------------------------------------------------
Re: We have something you'll want, so NOW you decide to make
nice?
DIR By: Izzy
Date: March 13, 2012, 5:35 pm
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After calling you a "Tuesday", they can go Friday themselves. I
agree with everyone who said "ignore".
#Post#: 1666--------------------------------------------------
Re: We have something you'll want, so NOW you decide to make
nice?
DIR By: Giggle Loop
Date: March 13, 2012, 9:02 pm
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I honestly did not figure out the Tuesday thing until I saw Mrs.
E's post coupled with stars afire's post.
#Post#: 1674--------------------------------------------------
Re: We have something you'll want, so NOW you decide to make
nice?
DIR By: Jabberwock
Date: March 13, 2012, 9:53 pm
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--- Quote from: Giggle Loop link ---
>
> I honestly did not figure out the Tuesday thing until I saw
Mrs. E's post coupled with stars afire's post.
>
--- End Quote ---
Me too! I thought it was a reference to getting blown off,
somehow. Like "I'll gladly pay you tuesday for a hamburger
today", and Tuesday never comes. Makes a heck of a lot more
sense now!
#Post#: 1676--------------------------------------------------
Re: We have something you'll want, so NOW you decide to make
nice?
DIR By: SakuraPhoenix
Date: March 13, 2012, 10:13 pm
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I want nothing at all to do with them. I will stay civil, but
I've already declared to DH that I'm done, and I will not spend
any time with them. I will go to funerals and weddings we're
invited to as a couple, but I absolutely will not allow them in
my house nor will I visit them in theirs. I'm done.
I've also told DH that it is his call what he does in the future
with them, but leave me out of it. He's holding strong with
bare minimal contact (some loose ends need to be tied up before
he can completely cut them off) and intends to enforce a full
cut off as soon as we can. It may be unfair of me, but I told
him, point blank, that if in the future he decides he wants some
sort of relationship with them, he can leave me out of it. I
will attend funerals and weddings, but holdiays will be spent
together as a family (meaning DH, me, and kids) unless one of us
has to work- there will be no splitting up at Christmas or
Thanksgiving for him to go to one house and me to go to another.
What drives me up the wall is the fact that I'm hearing "forgive
and forget" all over the place. My attitude is, sure, I'll
forgive, but I'll never forget. And since I won't forget, I
won't go back into that situation again. I'm also hearing "just
start over with them"... but isn't it funny that a lot of the
time those that want to "start over" are usually the ones that
did the damage in the first place. I'm not trying to say I've
been perfect, I've absolutely been wrong for saying "no" just
because I felt like it, and yes, I've been a jerk about it. But
all the wrong I've done pales in comparison to what they've
done- stuff that actually deserves a serious pearl-clutching
session, and I'm not going back into that for anything.
#Post#: 1722--------------------------------------------------
Re: We have something you'll want, so NOW you decide to make
nice?
DIR By: Giggle Loop
Date: March 14, 2012, 10:07 am
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It's good to be strong enough to forgive but not stupid enough
to forget.
#Post#: 2111--------------------------------------------------
Re: We have something you'll want, so NOW you decide to make
nice?
DIR By: Swan Swan H
Date: March 20, 2012, 4:47 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: SakuraPhoenix link ---
>
> I want nothing at all to do with them. I will stay civil, but
I've already declared to DH that I'm done, and I will not spend
any time with them. I will go to funerals and weddings we're
invited to as a couple, but I absolutely will not allow them in
my house nor will I visit them in theirs. I'm done.
>
> I've also told DH that it is his call what he does in the
future with them, but leave me out of it. He's holding strong
with bare minimal contact (some loose ends need to be tied up
before he can completely cut them off) and intends to enforce a
full cut off as soon as we can. It may be unfair of me, but I
told him, point blank, that if in the future he decides he wants
some sort of relationship with them, he can leave me out of it.
I will attend funerals and weddings, but holdiays will be spent
together as a family (meaning DH, me, and kids) unless one of us
has to work- there will be no splitting up at Christmas or
Thanksgiving for him to go to one house and me to go to another.
>
> What drives me up the wall is the fact that I'm hearing
"forgive and forget" all over the place. My attitude is, sure,
I'll forgive, but I'll never forget. And since I won't forget,
I won't go back into that situation again. I'm also hearing
"just start over with them"... but isn't it funny that a lot of
the time those that want to "start over" are usually the ones
that did the damage in the first place. I'm not trying to say
I've been perfect, I've absolutely been wrong for saying "no"
just because I felt like it, and yes, I've been a jerk about it.
But all the wrong I've done pales in comparison to what they've
done- stuff that actually deserves a serious pearl-clutching
session, and I'm not going back into that for anything.
>
--- End Quote ---
I do not think everything is forgettable. And I really do not
think you need forgive these people.
I think your decision to have nothing more to do with them is
absolutely the right one.
#Post#: 2169--------------------------------------------------
Re: We have something you'll want, so NOW you decide to make
nice?
DIR By: LadyClaire
Date: March 21, 2012, 7:50 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Honestly, I think the whole "forgive and forget" thing is a load
of crap. In some situations yes, it's best to do those things.
But sometimes the offense is so bad that there is no way you can
ever trust those people or forgive them for what they've done.
There are people in my life I will never forgive, or forget the
things they've done. I can move on with my life and it's
healthier for me to have no contact with them. If I "forgive and
forget" it will just be opening the door to more awful behavior
in the future.
#Post#: 2177--------------------------------------------------
Re: We have something you'll want, so NOW you decide to make
nice?
DIR By: PaulTate
Date: March 21, 2012, 8:49 am
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My take on the Forgive and Forget thing is:
I'll forgive someone for my own sake. That way, I'm not walking
around carrying the burden of a grudge against that person.
That doesn't mean, however, that I'll allow myself to forget and
risk falling victim once again to their toxicity.
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