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#Post#: 1462--------------------------------------------------
Re: I made nice with my grandmother
DIR By: DanglyParts
Date: March 13, 2012, 1:18 am
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--- Quote from: Nerdling link ---
>
> [quote author=G-Lady link=topic=141.msg1400#msg1400
date=1331563466]
> [quote author=Nerdling link=topic=141.msg1368#msg1368
date=1331524357]
> I think you handled it really well. I'm glad you were able to
come to a point where you could make up with your grandmother,
because I could tell that the things she's done in the past year
or so really hurt you.
>
--- End Quote ---
I don't know if "make up" is accurate. We didn't talk about
what she did, and I didn't tell her that she hurt me. But I did
"let it go", and I'm going to try to keep a mind set that when
she does something hurtful, she just doesn't "get it". She
can't step out of her own worldview and see that other people
have other values, priorities, beliefs, etc that don't align
with hers - and that doesn't make them wrong.
She also seems to forget that I wasn't raised in this family. I
was raised by a completely different family with completely
different moral, political, and religious values (ok, not that
different on religion, but definitely different political
views). While my parents weren't thrilled that I lived with my
first husband before we married, they understood that it was a
financial decision and were supportive. Once the Cap'n came
along, I was already a grown woman with one marriage under her
belt, living by myself, self sufficient, and making all my own
decisions. It never even crossed my mind that co-habitation was
even an issue for two adults.
[/quote]
I couldn't really think of another way to phrase it, but "make
up" probably isn't quite right, true. I also can't brain well
enough to say what I'm trying to work out to say, so let's just
pretend I had something witty and constructive to add?
[/quote]
Nerdling, I thought was a masterful and insightful summation of
the situation. A touch of poetry to it, too. :)
#Post#: 1483--------------------------------------------------
Re: I made nice with my grandmother
DIR By: Swan Swan H
Date: March 13, 2012, 6:40 am
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I think you handled it incredibly well and very maturely.
#Post#: 1487--------------------------------------------------
Re: I made nice with my grandmother
DIR By: MonkeyPants
Date: March 13, 2012, 7:26 am
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I'm glad that you guys were able to talk. Sometime its easier to
let things go, especially when you know the other person won't
see that they were in the wrong.
#Post#: 1539--------------------------------------------------
Re: I made nice with my grandmother
DIR By: Mrs.E
Date: March 13, 2012, 11:49 am
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Sometimes letting something go is the only way to do it. That
grudge was probably wearing you out and she didn't even know it.
#Post#: 1544--------------------------------------------------
Re: I made nice with my grandmother
DIR By: G-Lady
Date: March 13, 2012, 12:53 pm
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--- Quote from: Mrs.E link ---
>
> Sometimes letting something go is the only way to do it. That
grudge was probably wearing you out and she didn't even know it.
>
--- End Quote ---
Yup. Esther Lederer (Ann Landers) said "Hanging onto resentment
is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.”
I know this makes me sound really b-wordy and mean, but if it's
not bothering her, what's the point? Where's the schadenfreude?
If it's not affecting her, then she's got no reason to make a
change or at least try to apologize.
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