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       #Post#: 2162--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Member's Chat
       By: Poppy Date: June 1, 2015, 6:05 am
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       My heart goes out to you both and I will pray. xx
       #Post#: 2168--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Member's Chat
       By: Piper Date: June 1, 2015, 12:28 pm
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       [font=trebuchet ms]Copied this here, because, see, Mike, we are
       all struggling in our own ways.  You're not alone.  We need each
       other.  Just . . . to be there.
       * * *
       Well, at least we are FINALLY having a spell of nice weather.
       Kev's still in bed.  Not sure if that's good or bad.  Need to
       get him moving.  If his ribs will allow.
       Sigh . . .
       Life has gone all crazy.  Just crazy.  The animals wear me out,
       but I thank God they keep my focus off the endless problems.
       But sooner or later, I have to address all these things.
       Life is not much fun at all anymore.  It really isn't, and
       there's this 'me' inside of me that is not willing to just hang
       it all up at 54.
       I'm flagging, guys.  Starting to wonder if God gives a damn.
       Full moon.  Still love a full moon on a silent night.
       God. How do I keep going?
       Cats.  Hungry.  Yeah, will go take care of them.  Little faces.
       Need me.  Must get on with the mess of my life.
       Where is God?
       Leaves on the tree.  Love every one.
       Bird nests and babies.
       Fireflies in one month.
       Disjointed thoughts.
       Losing my mind?
       Sigh.
       But thanks.  Happy Anniversary.  It feels like this:  I'm still
       young , but suddenly my husband, who was once my age is now an
       old, old man.  Insane.  And cruel.  No two ways about it.
       I still see the boy, in his eyes, struggling to  . . . just come
       back and live.
       Best I stop thinking and get to work.  Hard work.  My salvation.
       Don't think, just work, do what needs doing.
       What will be, will be.  Jesus, take the wheel.
       Like Scarlett O'Hara.  "Tomorrow.  I'll think about it all
       tomorrow."
       [/font]
       #Post#: 2169--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Member's Chat
       By: Piper Date: June 1, 2015, 12:36 pm
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       O Lord. My husband is not insane and cruel.  Life is.
       I'm a crappy writer.  My one supposed skill. :(
       #Post#: 2171--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Member's Chat
       By: bradley Date: June 1, 2015, 3:34 pm
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       You "are" a good writer.   Ease up on yourself, forgive yourself
       for not being the kind of caregiver that keeps Kevin from any
       suffering at all.   Does even God do that?   God doesnt promise
       us no suffering, just that He will be with us through it, making
       it more bearable.   Ask for grace for the day alone, if need be
       for the hour alone when the weakest, and when the worst, indeed
       pray continually while doing whatever else needs doing.
       #Post#: 2174--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Member's Chat
       By: Piper Date: June 1, 2015, 4:11 pm
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       I'll be okay, Brad. Thanks for the pep talk.  xxxooo
       #Post#: 2176--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Member's Chat
       By: Kerry Date: June 2, 2015, 5:34 am
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       [quote author=Piper link=topic=116.msg2169#msg2169
       date=1433180180]
       O Lord. My husband is not insane and cruel.  Life is.
       I'm a crappy writer.  My one supposed skill. :(
       [/quote]I didn't read it that way.  I read it to mean you felt
       like was insane and cruel.   i did a coubletake when I read this
       post.  I went back to reread it, and then I saw how it could be
       read the other way.    Oh, the ambiguities of life.
       I saw my first fireflies last night.  They must show up here
       earlier than in Nebraska.   First a straggler landed on my
       windshield.  "Get off there," I told it, "before I take off
       driving or you're in for a rough ride."   I've had fireflies
       almost refuse to get off, waiting until the wind blew them off;
       but this one was a smart one and he flew right away.   Later on
       I saw a tree  all lit up.   It was splendid.  And then I saw
       another one, a pine, this time.
       When I lived in my other house, I used to sleep with my bedroom
       door open since it opened onto a porch on the second floor; and
       fireflies would come into my bedroom and fly around.    Milhaus
       found them interesting too.  I told him not to eat them, and I
       never saw him killing any; but maybe he did once and found out
       they don't taste very good.   I loved having fireflies in my
       bedroom.
       #Post#: 2177--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Member's Chat
       By: Poppy Date: June 2, 2015, 6:27 am
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       I've only ever seen fireflies once when we were on holiday in
       South Wales in a place call Pleasant Valley - lovely name,
       lovely place.
       #Post#: 2179--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Member's Chat
       By: bradley Date: June 2, 2015, 6:45 am
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       My wife Emmy had a cancer surgery yesterday.   They removed 1/10
       of her right kidney that was infected with it.   Very busy
       taking care of animals, house, and going back and forth to the
       hospital.   I messed up my 4 tomato plants, not sure I put on
       the right spray stuff to promote growth or I did it while it was
       too hot.   Either way, had to severly cut back the plants, not
       sure if they will survive.   The rhubard here is only about 3-6
       inches high, slightly bigger stalks than a pencil, and all
       green.   I will have to wait awhile to see whats up with them.
       Might try that wood ash you were talking about.   Our dog
       Prescilla is lonely without Emmy here, her normally prime
       caregiver.   This is her second day of no number 2.    And have
       to leave her again to go to the hospital.   Pray she is able to
       go when I get back a little before 4pm.
       #Post#: 2180--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Member's Chat
       By: Poppy Date: June 2, 2015, 7:37 am
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       Hi Bradley,  I pray Emmy will recover quickly from her op and
       regain her strength.
       Is it too late to plant some more tomato plants?  I tried
       growing them once on the sill in my back room but didn't
       succeed.
       #Post#: 2181--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Member's Chat
       By: Kerry Date: June 2, 2015, 8:02 am
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       Will pray for your wife, Brad.
       I don't think you can kill tomato plants by pruning them.  In
       fact, I've heard if you prune them at certain times, it's good
       for them; but I don't know when or how that's done.
       Poppy, I tried growing tomatoes once in pots.  That's when I
       lived in an apartment with a balcony and big windows.     They
       grew but the tomatoes were the size of cherry tomatoes.  I read
       later it's easier to grow oranges indoors than tomatoes.
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