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#Post#: 301--------------------------------------------------
Re: Old timer back but plenty to work with
By: Cardigirl Date: December 4, 2015, 11:14 am
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[quote]Yesterday she threatened to leave (again), I said I love
her and don't want her to but she needs to do what she needs to
do, she didn't leave and has said she loves me too.. I think we
love each other very much but for some reason its falling apart.
From her side it seems that she is pressing a self destruct
button and creating situations where it will all go wrong even
though that isn't what she wants. I don't think anybody has been
there for her in the past and she finds it hard to let go and
trust.
[/quote]
It does sound as if she is so very unhappy about herself, she
has to destroy everything around her. She lashes out at you
because you are close at hand. I am sorry. This is a difficult
position to be in. I would reiterate that you suggest
counseling for her. And if she will not go, then go for
yourself.
Working with someone who is not emotionally involved in the
situation can be a way to open someone's eyes to the truth of
what their behaviour is like. Everyone operates from a
viewpoint of they are right and others need to fall in line with
them, and when that doesn't happen they get frustrated. She's
upset with herself over a number of things, and doesn't have the
coping skills to find a way to deal with them.
Desiring children and being very challenged in the conception
area is a HUGE thing, and I would think some of your doctors who
are working with you on this would be able to suggest counselors
for her.
I am sorry, it must be very difficult to live like this, not
knowing when you're going to upset her. I hope that you will
seek some professional help in changing up your "dance."
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