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       #Post#: 301--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Old timer back but plenty to work with
   DIR By: Cardigirl
       Date: December 4, 2015, 11:14 am
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       --- Quote ---
       > Yesterday she threatened to leave (again), I said I love her
       and don't want her to but she needs to do what she needs to do,
       she didn't leave and has said she loves me too.. I think we love
       each other very much but for some reason its falling apart. From
       her side it seems that she is pressing a self destruct button
       and creating situations where it will all go wrong even though
       that isn't what she wants. I don't think anybody has been there
       for her in the past and she finds it hard to let go and trust.
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       It does sound as if she is so very unhappy about herself, she
       has to destroy everything around her.  She lashes out at you
       because you are close at hand.  I am sorry.  This is a difficult
       position to be in.  I would reiterate that you suggest
       counseling for her.  And if she will not go, then go for
       yourself.
       Working with someone who is not emotionally involved in the
       situation can be a way to open someone's eyes to the truth of
       what their behaviour is like.  Everyone operates from a
       viewpoint of they are right and others need to fall in line with
       them, and when that doesn't happen they get frustrated.  She's
       upset with herself over a number of things, and doesn't have the
       coping skills to find a way to deal with them.
       Desiring children and being very challenged in the conception
       area is a HUGE thing, and I would think some of your doctors who
       are working with you on this would be able to suggest counselors
       for her.
       I am sorry, it must be very difficult to live like this, not
       knowing when you're going to upset her.    I hope that you will
       seek some professional help in changing up your "dance."
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