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#Post#: 811--------------------------------------------------
Happy Humbugs
By: Bald Eagle Date: December 22, 2020, 12:50 am
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Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on
clothes and leave the house.
It’s weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I
expected.
Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a
helicopter.
Chocolate is God’s way of telling us he likes us a little bit
chubby.
It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an
adult.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing
leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you
naked. So remember…Don’t sing!
During the middle ages they celebrated the end of the plague
with wine and orgies. Does anyone know if there is anything
planned when this one ends?
If 2020 was a maths word-problem: If you’re going down a river
at 2 MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix
would you need to re-shingle your roof?
I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting
my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
We can all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer
correct to, ‘Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?’
If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for
it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an
idiot.
I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as
going out.
Coronacoaster noun: the ups and downs of a pandemic. One day
you’re loving your bubble, doing workouts, baking banana bread
and going for long walks and the next you’re crying, drinking
gin for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like.
I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humour
suggests I’m 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure
I’m not dead yet.
Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your
vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.
I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I
missed my exit.
At what point can we just start using 2020 as profanity? As in:
“That’s a load of 2020.” or “What in the 2020.” or
“abso-2020-lutely.”
You don’t realise how old you are until you sit on the floor and
then try to get back up.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more
information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to
it.
#Post#: 812--------------------------------------------------
Re: Happy Humbugs
By: ken bradley Date: December 22, 2020, 4:20 am
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Most people just pull crackers - its a depressing idea to read
all the funnies, 'cos most of 'em are indeed true!
#Post#: 813--------------------------------------------------
Re: Happy Humbugs
By: SilverFox Date: December 24, 2020, 9:05 am
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Repeat loudly -- after ME---- CRACKERJACK !!!!!!
Do it well and receive a CRACKERJACK crayon set.!! [pens &
pencils too sharp & dangerous for elderly folks.
S.F. [stands for- Slowly Fading].
#Post#: 814--------------------------------------------------
Re: Happy Humbugs
By: Bald Eagle Date: December 24, 2020, 9:58 am
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What time is the Orgies?
#Post#: 815--------------------------------------------------
Re: Happy Humbugs
By: SilverFox Date: December 27, 2020, 6:48 am
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Not sure I could manage an orgy with my back!!
S.F.
#Post#: 816--------------------------------------------------
Re: Happy Humbugs
By: neilg Date: December 27, 2020, 8:31 am
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Orgie... didn't he used to be a cartoon in Bike mag
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