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#Post#: 56670--------------------------------------------------
real life help.
By: Raven` Date: July 13, 2015, 10:09 am
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I hate that I resorted to this. I mean, I love you all. Trust
you too. It's just... I'm going to my internet friends for
advice when I have all these people around me. Mother, father,
friends... I just don't feel like I can share this with them
because they might think wrong of me, or something. I don't
know, really. Ugh.
Anyways, you all know I have a boyfriend. Well, recently, his
behavior has been... Well, annoying. Out of control. I don't
like it, to say the least. He evolved a lot from the beginning
of our relationship, which consisted of him being really hands
on and invasive of personal space. But now... Well, he kind of
reverted back into that. Not as bad, but recently he's been...
well, touching me, restraining me, kissing me against my will. I
tell him no. Stop. Go away. He'll listen for like, five minutes
before trying again. I was thinking of putting my foot down, but
really, what would that do?
There's also his words. They're sweet, kind... He really is a
great boyfriend in that aspect. It's just that sometimes, I feel
trapped. In a way. He'll compliment me to no end, and call me
princess, angel, beautiful, all these things. But I don't feel
right giving him a nickname or complimenting him. I don't know
why. It could be because I tried it once, and was basically
laughed at? I don't know.
There are hella more things. Like, we've only been dating for a
little over five months, and he's already planning a future &
**** like that. I agree just to humor him, though deep down I
feel scared. Like, he's my first boyfriend. Will he really be my
only boyfriend? Will we really grow old together? I like the
idea, but at the same time, its scary. I don't want to be tied
down my entire life, even if it's to this guy who is wonderful
and amazing...
And then there's the fact that whenever he says "I love you
too," I feel like I have to say it. It's not even that sincere
anymore. It's more of a reflex. vuv
I just... This morning, I was getting ready to write something,
I already forgot what. But he had texted me that he couldn't
talk today, as his phone was broken and was getting fixed. Kay.
Cool. But I sat back and thought about it and wondered, what
would happen if we were to break up? I basically spent the last
hour contemplating things. Thinking if I really do love him, or
if I'm staying just for him to be happy.
I basically settled on breaking it off with him. It would be
freedom, a weight off of my chest, not having to worry about his
advances. But, at the same time, as I'm deciding, I remember
that I made him happy. Extremely happy, as he puts it. I don't
want him to become depressed again, to revert back to cutting or
smoking or drinking... In short, I'm scared. Not for me - I
personally think I'll be fine if we do break up. But, I'm scared
for him and his mental health.
Edit;; there's also the fact that he's been hella invasive of my
personal things? Like, I got an email from some site I signed up
for when I was maybe eleven. He took my phone and began looking
through my email, then my phone, then my text messages. Photos
were next, but I took my phone back. He frowned and asked if I
was hiding anything, which I'm not, and I had to explain to him
that my phone is my personal property and he shouldn't be
looking through it. He frowned, looked away, and we didn't talk
for the next ten minutes.
Edit #2;; he's coming over tomorrow. If he keeps his act up
after me finally putting my foot down, I'm gonna dump him. If
not, I'll give him another chance. Maybe.
Edit #3;; ugh I don't even know anymore. Like, know if I want to
break up. He's a nice kid. Smart, funny. My family likes him, I
do too. It's easy to ask if he can come over... Maybe all I have
to do is put my foot down. Maybe then our relationship will
change for the better? I don't know.
Edit #4, next day;; ugh hes coming over today f.ck sh.t fauk.
ugh. i don't want to break up with him but like??? i'm getting
bored. and scared. and tired of his sh.t. i talked to a friend
who went through it before, and she said just to talk to him.
like??? holy f.ck actually putting my feelings on the table??
who ever let me do that before without yelling at me after??? i
mean, you guys have. thanks for that. sorry for my first world
problems.
#Post#: 56675--------------------------------------------------
Re: real life help.
By: puddincat Date: July 14, 2015, 3:53 pm
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if u can't talk about ur feelings with him, is he really someone
u wanna stay in a relationship with? honesty is really
important, and if he can't accept that u feel uncomfortable when
he doesn't certain things and won't change, then u need to get
away from him. he sounds kinda sensitive, so u should try to let
him down easy if u do decide to break up, and try to see if u
guys can still be friends cuz sometimes friendships are better
than romantic relationships anyway, even if u can't see it at
first. if u both really like each other i'm sure you'll find a
way to make things work 👍🏻 (:
#Post#: 56677--------------------------------------------------
Re: real life help.
By: dawnfire111 Date: July 14, 2015, 7:32 pm
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i agree with puddin^^^^^^^^^
if he's not treating you right, you shouldn't just let him push
you around. maybe it's in a sweet and romantic way, but pushing
nonetheless. i don't know much about dating relationships since
i've never dated and i don't have any guys friends, but i would
suggest talking about it with him before breaking it off? i know
you said you didn't want to, but i dunno how else the
relationship gonna go anywhere. either you're stuck with this or
you're giving up on it altogether.
idk. like i said, i'm the least qualified person to help with
relationships, or confrontation. i hope things work out okay,
whether you're breaking up or not. i just want you to be happy
and not hurt<3333
#Post#: 56694--------------------------------------------------
Re: real life help.
By: Raven` Date: July 23, 2015, 8:37 pm
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just a quick update for you guys. idk but i think y'all deserve
one.
so the day that i expected him to come over, he didn't. the next
day, he had work, and the day after, he had to go to another
city to visit family. day after that, i started my period and
had serious cramps (tmi i know ugh) and i didn't even want to
text him. the day after, he finally came over. but he only
stayed for an hour before i had to leave with my family for mini
golfing and such.
it was only yesterday where we hung out again, and he was so
happy and smiley. we watched charlie & the chocolate factory and
talked most of the time, brought my dog out for a walk, swam at
the lake for a few hours with my family. all that fun. and ill
admit, i had fun too. i nearly forgot my initial mission to at
least talk to him about how i felt; several other friends said i
should at least do that. but really, its hard to when the kid is
smiling till his cheeks ache.
but, dont think im a softie, okay? he did get a little touchy
feely there, and i snapped at him a couple times. after a bit,
he got the idea and laid off. it wasn't until after we swam at
the lake where her started to be more and more of an ass. and
each time, i snapped at him and walked off.
like, for example, i made a comment about whatever the topic
was, i cant exactly remember, and he replied something along the
lines of "you only think that way because you're a girl" i
stopped dead and waited for him to notice, which then he stopped
walking my dog and turned to me, laughed, and said how it was
"just a joke." i, obviously shocked by his blatant sexism or
whatever tumblr freaks wanna categorize that as, walked passed
him and turned the corner. he caught up and walked beside me,
apologizing a lot and when i asked "do you even know what you're
apologizing for?" and he admitted he didnt. and you know that
side of me where i talk circles around the other person,
belittle them, and make them realize their wrongs? not exactly
proud of it, but it does come in handy at times like this.
oh, and later we went to the corner store for some ice cream. on
the way out, he asked "so can your brother be around peanuts
or...?" and, being hella protective of randy, i changed my
stance and glared at him. i clenched my fist around the handles
of the bag and shouted no at him, while we were still in the
store, and just left him there. i crossed the street and kept
walking. it took him a bit to catch up, which he then apologized
a lot more than before. i refused to even speak to him, and when
we got back to the house, i shoved the back of ice cream in the
freezer and sat down in the living room, arms and legs crossed,
to close myself off from the world. body language, ladies. now,
ill admit that, hey, randy is my brother, i should be watching
out for him myself. but i was hurt mainly because i sort of
trusted my boyfriend to not get something that could potentially
kill my brother. hell, i'll choose my little brother over
anything. he is the world to me and i don't want to see a world
without him. ever.
long story short is that i do plan to talk to him about my
feelings, about how hes becoming increasingly annoying and
bullheaded, along with cocky. et cetera. i just need to find out
when, where, and how.
"hey so the other day i was considering breaking up with you"
yeah no its somehow not that easy
#Post#: 56695--------------------------------------------------
Re: real life help.
By: Jstar Date: July 23, 2015, 9:42 pm
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awww raeeeeebaer im sorry this shit is happening to you
however, im glad you're trying to stick up for yourself and your
brother. that takes alot of heart
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