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#Post#: 109701--------------------------------------------------
Pyramid Patrol 2026 - 27.
DIR By: JCFC
Date: July 26, 2026, 6:15 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Having no interest in pre-season friendlies, I have enjoyed my
Saturday amateur Rugby League matches, duly reported in the "Non
Footy Board" section. Even so, I was looking forward to the
start of the NCEFL season, but the referee appointments were
uninspiring, especially for the match I had earmarked. I decided
then that I would have a last Saturday of Rugby League, at
Mirfield Spartans v Thornhill Trojans, but a little check
offered the possibility of a visit to an unvisited ground with
an unseen referee.
The easiest route seemed to be via Beeston, but with the dreaded
cross-country running late from Derby, I missed the planned bus
and had almost an hour to wait. In search of a cash point (the
milkman had relieved me of my last two notes the previous
evening, and neither the Brighouse Tesco nor Sainsbury's
machines having any cash.) Beeston was no better, with neither
the co-op nor the large Tesco having a visible ATM. A
comfortable seat was taken at the tram stop, until the bus
arrived to whisk me to my destination. There Admiral Sir John
Borlase Warren provided sustenance, with the assistance of
Cameron's Röad Crew, before the walk to
United Counties League Division 1
Stapleford Town 1 v 2 Clipstone
£4 Concession. Attendance 134
Thomas Burt (Leicester); Alex Orchiston, Barry Polkey.
The ground is adequate, but not the best for watching. Mr Burt
(apparently a geography teacher) was of medium height, with slim
build and dark hair. AR1 was taller and had touches of grey,
with a somewhat stately movement style. AR2 was small, with an
unkempt horseshoe of straggly grey hair surrounding a bald pate.
He has either had a hard life or is very old, but was well up to
the task. (I have since been informed that he is in his
seventies.)
Clipstone fired a shot just wide after just 30 seconds. Number 9
claimed that the diving keeper had got a touch, but he clearly
hadn't. Thereafter play was fairly even. On 20 minutes a strong
challenge by a home player was deemed fair with play continuing
until the Clipstone number 7 saw his chance for revenge with
what was closer to a kick than a tackle, provoking a minor
scuffle, limited in numbers. Number 7 duly received a yellow
card, and everyone repaired to the touchline for drinks. Well,
not everyone, as the home number 10 was engaged in explaining to
Mr Burt why the card was the wrong colour, receiving a long and
demonstrative explanation in reply. So too, the Stapleford coach
with a curious hat, who came to join in. As the game meandered
towards half time, there was panic in the Stapleford goalmouth,
before the keeper finally managed to clasp the ball to his
bosom.
After the restart Clipstone were wide with an early header, but
on 52 minutes a Stapleford raid down their left was stopped by a
desperate attempt at a tackle, resulting in a clear penalty. The
Clipstone keeper went to his right, the ball firmly to his left
to give the home side the lead. There was an important block of
a Clipstone shot just before the second hydration break. The
game became rather untidy, and with tempers rising, a further
three yellow cards were shown. There were chances at each end,
but it looked as if Stapleford would hang on to win, but they
failed to deal with a 91st minute long throw and Clipstone were
level. The turnaround was complete three minutes later, with the
visitors grabbing a winner.
Mr Burt had performed competently enough, with largely accurate
decision making. He appeared willing - possibly too willing - to
explain decisions, but for JCFC there was little stardust, as he
did not quite display the authority to have decisions accepted
without question.
Sadly, the bus back to Beeston is at 16.50 - useless therefore -
so an alternative was taken, with a bus to Ilkeston. There, at
last, were two banks side by side, each with a n ATM. The
station there is a long way from the bus terminus, fortunately
downhill for the most part. There was plenty of time to recover
from the unwonted, and certainly unwanted, exertions, before
catching the 18.32 to Chesterfield, rejoining the original
route. Home by 20.55, thinking that I would have been better off
at Mirfield - until it was discovered that hard ground had led
to the postponement of their match. Luck was on my side this
time.
#Post#: 109703--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2026 - 27.
DIR By: mac
Date: July 26, 2026, 7:55 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Barry Polkey….what an absolute legend!
#Post#: 109711--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2026 - 27.
DIR By: JCFC
Date: July 26, 2026, 9:58 am
---------------------------------------------------------
It is many years, 63 to be precise, since I sat O-Level
Geography, but in deference to Mr Burt's profession I chose the
word meandered deliberately (though not misleadingly.) I hoped
for further chances to pay tribute, but sadly, oor maybe not,
there were no ultras irritatingly drumlin away, or worse, armed
with a basket of eggs with which to bombard the officials. The
one challenge that might have produced striations on an opponent
was foiled by the shin pad, while there was no hope of inserting
a roche moutonnée. Suffice it to say that Mr Burt was in no way
erratic though he could have been a little boulder in asserting
his authority. The route back to the bus stop offered no
limestone pavement. Esker c'est tout, dit-on? Alas no, as on
reaching Brighouse I was greeted by light drizzle - most welcome
as the garden needs moraine. This last may be terminal for me,
as these remarks might see me Karst into outer darkness by angry
mods.
#Post#: 109715--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2026 - 27.
DIR By: Lanyardhater
Date: July 26, 2026, 10:39 am
---------------------------------------------------------
My first encroachment onto the hallowed turf of Pyramid Patrol
is also my first game of the new season, as like JCFC I avoid
pre-season friendlies (since 2003 anyway). It took me about 10
miles from home on two buses, the second (much longer) one
shared with a group of teenage girls who were using the
acoustics of the upper deck to sing all their favourite songs -
over and over again! Not untuneful, quite catchy - but far too
loud. Oh for the days of conductors (bus rather than
orchestral) to moderate such musical excess.
Ears ringing, I arrived at my chosen venue, via a railway
footbridge whose aroma confirmed the near-absence of public
conveniences these days. The venue goes by no fewer than three
different names (there seems to be a lot of this about, which
can only confuse the unwary). Take your pick from Parsloes
Park, Leisure United or The Bobby Moore Sports Hub. I would
plump for the latter.
And so to the Step 6 fixture of:
MAY & BAKER EASTBROOK COMMUNITY v HERTFORD HEATH, Eastern
Counties League Division 1 South. (Excuse capitals - I’m not
even going to attempt bold!). Referee: James Perry. AR1: David
Leeks. AR2: Grant Moody.
Admission for this old git was just £3 (cheap - I normally
expect to pay a fiver at this level).
May & Baker (founded 1923) perpetuate the name of the erstwhile
pharmaceutical company of which they were the works football
team. (One of M & B’s drugs cured Winston Churchill of
pneumonia in 1943). Hertford Heath (founded 1907) have finally
reached the big time of Step 6, after promotion from the
Hertfordshire County League in May.
On the way to my seat I had a brief chat with HH’s two coaches,
who were most approachable and friendly. My liking for the club
was further nurtured just before kick-off when a young lad of
about 11, wearing their shirt, overheard me lamenting the
absence of a rubbish bin near the stand, and volunteered
(without any prompting from an adult) to take the remnants of my
lunch to the only visible bin on the far side. There is hope
for England’s youth yet!
“Get on with it!” I hear you shout.
Okay. Mr. Perry, ginger of hair, got the game started dead on 3
- a rarity in non-league as seasoned observers will know. Just
twenty seconds in, a very reckless tackle from home 7 definitely
deserved a yellow card, but was never going to get it so early
in the match, Mr. Perry opting instead for rather too long a
talk accompanied by rather too much gesticulation. A minute
later, the game had to be stopped in unusual circumstances when
the home keeper alerted the referee to his goal, one of those
movable efforts on wheels, having slid of its own accord onto
the pitch, requiring its brakes to be re-applied. Such
contraptions were banned in my day!
I had hoped that the heat of the afternoon would soon temper the
100 mph play, but this was wishful thinking on a 3g pitch.
Highlight of the half was a superb save from the away keeper,
but he was soon picking the ball out of the net from the
resulting corner.
There followed two uncontested yellow cards for trips by home
players 3 & 4, and nobody from HH would have surely have
contested a yellow for their number 4 for a similar offence
shortly afterwards - but Mr. Perry strangely passed up the
opportunity to keep everyone happy. The resultant lecture to
the home bench went on rather too long. I resisted the
temptation to shout “Come on, ref, I’ve got a bus to catch”.
Half-time tea cost the curious sum of £1-90. Passing the
turnstile as the pleasant young lady manning (?) it was packing
up, enabled me to ascertain that I was one of 48 souls in
attendance.
The second half was not as fast as players tired in the heat.
Substitutions arrived - as did one more yellow card (away 4 for
a tackle from behind) and three more home goals. Final score
4-0. It pleased me that all the cautions had used the ‘card
first’ method rather than the tiresome and unnecessary “caution
procedure” about which I have already vented my spleen on this
blog.
Mr. Perry had a good and convincing manner with the players, and
was always happy to tell them why he had not given the decision
they wanted. Players responded well to that and clearly trusted
him. There were some excellent advantages played, and several
brought back if nothing accrued. It was good to see (and hear)
the new 5-second countdown for goal-kicks and throw-ins, no
punishment being required. I have not (yet) got used to the
whistle to start the process - I always think something else
must have happened!
All in all, a good start to the season for the officials, helped
by two teams with a good attitude who just got on with it. My
only (very minor) criticism would be that his lectures went on a
bit too long.
I so often see the back of the bus departing when I leave a
football ground, but today one was happily approaching as I
reached the stop. And where I changed buses, the second one
arrived in under a minute. JCFC would envy such fortune - but
of course buses (and trains) in the London area are much more
frequent than those he has to contend with.
By the way, if (rather like Mr. Perry) I have gone on too long,
please tell me. I do tend to ramble once I get started!
#Post#: 109717--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2026 - 27.
DIR By: carrowman
Date: July 26, 2026, 11:10 am
---------------------------------------------------------
So good to have 2 reports to read.
Hope you both have stress free travel ( if that's possible in
the UK at the weekends ) and look forward to your weekly
adventures.
#Post#: 109719--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2026 - 27.
DIR By: Lanyardhater
Date: July 26, 2026, 11:25 am
---------------------------------------------------------
It is a ‘mere’ 57 years since my own Geography O-Level, and I
got most of your references (moraine was genius) but what on
earth is “basket of eggs”?
#Post#: 109720--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2026 - 27.
DIR By: JCFC
Date: July 26, 2026, 11:37 am
---------------------------------------------------------
A basket of eggs topography referred to the appearance of a
number of adjacent drumlins, giving the appearance, to fanciful
geographers at least, of the eggs in question. The example we
were quoted was the Craven area near Skipton, but when I
mentioned this to a geography teacher working on the fringe of
that area, she had never heard of that expression.
#Post#: 109729--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2026 - 27.
DIR By: gooner
Date: July 27, 2026, 5:47 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: JCFC link ---
>
> A basket of eggs topography referred to the appearance of a
number of adjacent drumlins, giving the appearance, to fanciful
geographers at least, of the eggs in question. The example we
were quoted was the Craven area near Skipton, but when I
mentioned this to a geography teacher working on the fringe of
that area, she had never heard of that expression.
>
--- End Quote ---
hi,
was the 'horseshoe' in the original report when describing mr.
polkey's hair another intended geographical allusion? or is it
me reading too much into things? [emoji848]
regards,
gnr
#Post#: 109730--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2026 - 27.
DIR By: gooner
Date: July 27, 2026, 6:01 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Lanyardhater link ---
>
> My first encroachment onto the hallowed turf of Pyramid Patrol
is also my first game of the new season, as like JCFC I avoid
pre-season friendlies (since 2003 anyway). It took me about 10
miles from home on two buses, the second (much longer) one
shared with a group of teenage girls who were using the
acoustics of the upper deck to sing all their favourite songs -
over and over again! Not untuneful, quite catchy - but far too
loud. Oh for the days of conductors (bus rather than
orchestral) to moderate such musical excess.
>
> Ears ringing, I arrived at my chosen venue, via a railway
footbridge whose aroma confirmed the near-absence of public
conveniences these days. The venue goes by no fewer than three
different names (there seems to be a lot of this about, which
can only confuse the unwary). Take your pick from Parsloes
Park, Leisure United or The Bobby Moore Sports Hub. I would
plump for the latter.
>
> And so to the Step 6 fixture of:
>
> MAY & BAKER EASTBROOK COMMUNITY v HERTFORD HEATH, Eastern
Counties League Division 1 South. (Excuse capitals - I’m not
even going to attempt bold!). Referee: James Perry. AR1: David
Leeks. AR2: Grant Moody.
>
> Admission for this old git was just £3 (cheap - I normally
expect to pay a fiver at this level).
>
> May & Baker (founded 1923) perpetuate the name of the
erstwhile pharmaceutical company of which they were the works
football team. (One of M & B’s drugs cured Winston Churchill of
pneumonia in 1943). Hertford Heath (founded 1907) have finally
reached the big time of Step 6, after promotion from the
Hertfordshire County League in May.
>
> On the way to my seat I had a brief chat with HH’s two
coaches, who were most approachable and friendly. My liking for
the club was further nurtured just before kick-off when a young
lad of about 11, wearing their shirt, overheard me lamenting the
absence of a rubbish bin near the stand, and volunteered
(without any prompting from an adult) to take the remnants of my
lunch to the only visible bin on the far side. There is hope
for England’s youth yet!
>
> “Get on with it!” I hear you shout.
>
> Okay. Mr. Perry, ginger of hair, got the game started dead on
3 - a rarity in non-league as seasoned observers will know.
Just twenty seconds in, a very reckless tackle from home 7
definitely deserved a yellow card, but was never going to get it
so early in the match, Mr. Perry opting instead for rather too
long a talk accompanied by rather too much gesticulation. A
minute later, the game had to be stopped in unusual
circumstances when the home keeper alerted the referee to his
goal, one of those movable efforts on wheels, having slid of its
own accord onto the pitch, requiring its brakes to be
re-applied. Such contraptions were banned in my day!
>
> I had hoped that the heat of the afternoon would soon temper
the 100 mph play, but this was wishful thinking on a 3g pitch.
Highlight of the half was a superb save from the away keeper,
but he was soon picking the ball out of the net from the
resulting corner.
>
> There followed two uncontested yellow cards for trips by home
players 3 & 4, and nobody from HH would have surely have
contested a yellow for their number 4 for a similar offence
shortly afterwards - but Mr. Perry strangely passed up the
opportunity to keep everyone happy. The resultant lecture to
the home bench went on rather too long. I resisted the
temptation to shout “Come on, ref, I’ve got a bus to catch”.
>
> Half-time tea cost the curious sum of £1-90. Passing the
turnstile as the pleasant young lady manning (?) it was packing
up, enabled me to ascertain that I was one of 48 souls in
attendance.
>
> The second half was not as fast as players tired in the heat.
Substitutions arrived - as did one more yellow card (away 4 for
a tackle from behind) and three more home goals. Final score
4-0. It pleased me that all the cautions had used the ‘card
first’ method rather than the tiresome and unnecessary “caution
procedure” about which I have already vented my spleen on this
blog.
>
> Mr. Perry had a good and convincing manner with the players,
and was always happy to tell them why he had not given the
decision they wanted. Players responded well to that and
clearly trusted him. There were some excellent advantages
played, and several brought back if nothing accrued. It was good
to see (and hear) the new 5-second countdown for goal-kicks and
throw-ins, no punishment being required. I have not (yet) got
used to the whistle to start the process - I always think
something else must have happened!
>
> All in all, a good start to the season for the officials,
helped by two teams with a good attitude who just got on with
it. My only (very minor) criticism would be that his lectures
went on a bit too long.
>
> I so often see the back of the bus departing when I leave a
football ground, but today one was happily approaching as I
reached the stop. And where I changed buses, the second one
arrived in under a minute. JCFC would envy such fortune - but
of course buses (and trains) in the London area are much more
frequent than those he has to contend with.
>
> By the way, if (rather like Mr. Perry) I have gone on too
long, please tell me. I do tend to ramble once I get started!
>
--- End Quote ---
hi,
a fantastic report and a worthy southern companion piece to the
more established northern musings of JCFC [emoji106]
that a time to be alive! [emoji12]
regards,
gnr
#Post#: 109731--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2026 - 27.
DIR By: Lanyardhater
Date: July 27, 2026, 6:28 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Thank you so much, gooner. And carrowman yesterday. Glad my
debut on PP went down well. Not too long then?
I’ve got a long way to go to even begin to equal the literary
erudition of the master!
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