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#Post#: 97558--------------------------------------------------
Re: Non-League game abandoned following abuse
DIR By: PhiltheRef
Date: November 16, 2025, 12:09 pm
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Speculation only from me but here goes.
Adrenaline, already pumping due to being involved in a fixture,
increases after abuse.
At h/t, probably in dressing room, adrenaline level drops and
referee realises what's actually occurred.
Has the guilty party been identified and removed?
OR
Am I going to possibly have to deal with more abuse, or, might
it possibly develop into a physical confrontation?
Do I feel safe? Or am I concerned for my welfare?
Match abandoned and I support her 100%
#Post#: 97561--------------------------------------------------
Re: Non-League game abandoned following abuse
DIR By: Leggy
Date: November 16, 2025, 1:56 pm
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--- Quote from: bmb link ---
>
> [quote author=Leggy link=topic=7409.msg97533#msg97533
date=1763291234]But vile to abuse to any referee, or any gender,
race, etc. is disgusting and 100% not acceptable.
--- End Quote ---
Absolutely agree 100%
--- Quote from: Leggy link ---
>
> It might have sent a better message to the abuser(s) if the
game had been completed and then the full details of the
incident made public to shame the idiots?
>
--- End Quote ---
I disagree. There's been so much sweeping under the carpet of
previous incidents with the authorities promising to do more but
'let's not embarrass ourselves in public about how bad it really
can be' kind of attitudes and it has made zero difference. Too
many words from the Ivory Towers and not enough real meaningful
action.
Stop the game, abandon it. If the idiot of the day has been
identified then ban them from all football related activity - 3
years, 5 years, 10 years - no appeals. Notices up on the county
FA's website and in the local/national press with a photo of
them, details of the incident and highlighting the fact they are
the one responsible for taking away the enjoyment of others to
play/participate in a game. Fine the club they are attached to
for failing to fulfil a fixture and award a 3-0 win to the other
team. Enough is enough - time to actually get tough and start
protecting all of our referees especially those lower down the
pyramid who don't have the benefit of stewards etc. to afford
them some degree of protection on a match day.
[/quote]
A fair response and one that I do not disagree with. But ...
I refereed over 1000 games and abandoned one (it was very wet).
If I had abandoned every game where I was call a ba***rd or
worse, then the figure would have been in the hundreds. If we
are going to adopt this strategy, it should be for all abuse to
a referee. Because it is all 100% unacceptable.
#Post#: 97562--------------------------------------------------
Re: Non-League game abandoned following abuse
DIR By: Ashington46
Date: November 16, 2025, 3:21 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Leggy link ---
>
> [quote author=bmb link=topic=7409.msg97535#msg97535
date=1763293136]
> [quote author=Leggy link=topic=7409.msg97533#msg97533
date=1763291234]But vile to abuse to any referee, or any gender,
race, etc. is disgusting and 100% not acceptable.
--- End Quote ---
Absolutely agree 100%
--- Quote from: Leggy link ---
>
> It might have sent a better message to the abuser(s) if the
game had been completed and then the full details of the
incident made public to shame the idiots?
>
--- End Quote ---
I disagree. There's been so much sweeping under the carpet of
previous incidents with the authorities promising to do more but
'let's not embarrass ourselves in public about how bad it really
can be' kind of attitudes and it has made zero difference. Too
many words from the Ivory Towers and not enough real meaningful
action.
Stop the game, abandon it. If the idiot of the day has been
identified then ban them from all football related activity - 3
years, 5 years, 10 years - no appeals. Notices up on the county
FA's website and in the local/national press with a photo of
them, details of the incident and highlighting the fact they are
the one responsible for taking away the enjoyment of others to
play/participate in a game. Fine the club they are attached to
for failing to fulfil a fixture and award a 3-0 win to the other
team. Enough is enough - time to actually get tough and start
protecting all of our referees especially those lower down the
pyramid who don't have the benefit of stewards etc. to afford
them some degree of protection on a match day.
[/quote]
A fair response and one that I do not disagree with. But ...
I refereed over 1000 games and abandoned one (it was very wet).
If I had abandoned every game where I was call a ba***rd or
worse, then the figure would have been in the hundreds. If we
are going to adopt this strategy, it should be for all abuse to
a referee. Because it is all 100% unacceptable.
[/quote]
I agree totally that it is unacceptable, however, the society
where we just got on with things has disappeared and we now have
a society where some will always find offence at something,
whereas, a lot of we older statespersons will still just get on
with it. These are very strange times and I don't see them
improving much in the near future.
The only thing which hasn't changed it the fact that it will be
football and its fans who will always be blamed for unruly
behaviour whether it be thuggery or verbal abuse.
#Post#: 97563--------------------------------------------------
Re: Non-League game abandoned following abuse
DIR By: aaa
Date: November 16, 2025, 3:23 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Players, Coaches, Managers, Secretaries, Chairperson and
ofcourse "fans" always believes in their mind that all Match
Officials can take any abuse because they are "Referees" and
meant to take it anything. We don't all have a thick skin; some
could take anything directed at them while others would go into
their shells.
I agreed with PhiltheRef. Maybe the thought of going through
the second half knowing further abuse will be coming her way was
just too much. All she want to do is leave as soon as possible.
While I hope it will never happen, but I fear that one day all
these group of people will be expecting a match but no qualified
official will be available to officiate!
#Post#: 97568--------------------------------------------------
Re: Non-League game abandoned following abuse
DIR By: refs1
Date: November 16, 2025, 4:37 pm
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Several weeks ago the same referee supported me, in supporting a
group of young female referees do games at an academy during
half term. She didn’t need to do this but was great with
the girls in the program.
I had the opportunity to chat with her about her refereeing
journey and experience, as the event was for the whole day.
It is very clear this referee has a strong character and can
only think that this must have been extremely vile nature for
her take this correct decision.
Abuse is abuse and unacceptable.
#Post#: 97572--------------------------------------------------
Re: Non-League game abandoned following abuse
DIR By: Ancientref
Date: November 17, 2025, 1:37 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Society has changed since I refereed but I would simply ask what
would happen if ambulance staff got back in the ambulance and
drove away if they were abused. Can you imagine the response in
the press? Or DWP workers closed the office because someone had
been abused ?
Remember the players had done nothing wrong and they were
deprived of their game.
I accept that I am too old to make judgement on this changing
world.
#Post#: 97758--------------------------------------------------
Re: Non-League game abandoned following abuse
DIR By: bmb
Date: November 21, 2025, 10:37 am
---------------------------------------------------------
HTML https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c157g4v4lg1o
Female staff member at Weymouth also targeted - the comments
made to her were picked up on the match commentary.
#Post#: 97760--------------------------------------------------
Re: Non-League game abandoned following abuse
DIR By: TA_Ref
Date: November 21, 2025, 1:59 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Ancientref link ---
>
> Society has changed since I refereed but I would simply ask
what would happen if ambulance staff got back in the ambulance
and drove away if they were abused. Can you imagine the response
in the press? Or DWP workers closed the office because someone
had been abused ?
> Remember the players had done nothing wrong and they were
deprived of their game.
> I accept that I am too old to make judgement on this changing
world.
>
--- End Quote ---
I take your point about the ambulance situation however I would
hope that considering the ambulance service is a part of the
emergency services, I would hope that the public treat them with
the respect they deserve when they are called upon.
The emergency services and certainly the ambulance service
should be respected because of the work they do. Think of the
response to Tom Lockyer collapsing on the football field. Think
of how many times in recent years there are medical emergencies
in the stands. They earn their respect.
It’s totally different to referees. We can’t gain any respect
whether we have 100% accuracy or have a couple of bloopers.
That’s because the public see us as the enemy. It takes one
decision against a team and the supporters don’t care. Referees
do a job, many of them voluntarily, where they cannot earn any
respect no matter the level of performance that they achieve.
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