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#Post#: 65920--------------------------------------------------
Pyramid Patrol 2023/24
DIR By: JCFC
Date: July 30, 2023, 8:33 am
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Almost inevitably, it seems, the first Saturday of the new
season's competitions coincided with yet another rail strike.
JCFC therefore had organised a weekend in Hull, from where
either Barton or Beverley could easily be reached by bus. When
the fixtures were published, however, both these Towns were
away. All was not lost and on a sunny morning the 350, after
crossing the Humber Bridge, meandered its way through the
pleasant countryside of N. Lincolnshire, ending at Scunthorpe -
a prime example of better to travel hopefully than to arrive.
The weather Gods clearly thought so too, as they sent a dark
cloud to hang over the town, though fortunately its
precipitation was minimal. The sun reappeared in the course of a
further circuitous bus trip - the number 3 seemingly trying to
tie itself in knots - and JCFC arrived early for
Saturday 29th July 2023
NCEFL Premier Division
Bottesford Town 0 v 2 Eccleshill United
Rob Nunn (Grimsby); Ashley Cooper, Jonathan Woods
The ground had an open entrance, so, being a man of probity
(most of the time), JCFC waited inside until he was able to pay.
This allowed time to take in the features of the ground.
Behind the far goal was a large sign with a two word reference
to the sponsorship of that end by Taco Bell. Some years ago a
presentation to Sepp Blatter seemed to suggest that the second
part of this sign was a rude word. We Brighouse folk of course
do not go in for such language, though we might occasionally
listen to the daringly naughty song of Flanders and Swann, "Pee,
Poe, Belly, Bum, Drawers."
The artificial pitch was a mosaic of different coloured markings
for junior or small-sided games, as if some latter-day Mondrian
had turned his hand to groundsmanship, but given up prematurely.
Best of all, though, was the Snack Shack, with a wide range of
options - double egg and chips was a rare treat.
Mr. Nunn was taller than he appeared on the phone, but of
otherwise unremarkable appearance. Even so Mr Woods towered over
him, and had to bend very low for handshakes with the diminutive
home mascots - "bobbing up and down like this" came to mind.
Sadly altitude sickness had led to the demise of his hair. That
can not have been the reason for Mr Cooper's pate. (Is he a
descendant of the Earl of Shaftesbury?)
The most impressive figure, however, was Mr Observer Smith,
whose enviable silver coiffure gave him a most distinguished
air.
A free kick to Eccleshill in the first minute for a failed
attempt to prevent the keeper from putting the ball into play,
was not wrong and perhaps made a point, but was not really
necessary. Five minutes later a home defender tried to prevent a
corner, and both Mr Nunn and JCFC looked across to Mr Cooper,
whose flag was a little late and only noticed as Eccleshill were
about to take a throw. The rest of the half continued peacefully
and unevenfully, with one friendly local commenting ruefully
that not much had happened. Three minutes of added time seemed
accurate.
Three minutes added to the interval did not. The second half
offered a little more incident. Bottesford had several clear
chances,but through a mixture of good blocks and wayward
shooting they were unable to take advantage. Eccleshill had
fewer openings, but did convert chances after70 minutes and in
added time. The four cautions, one for Bottesford and three for
Eccleshill all passed the promptness test, though the final one
failed on identification, at least to those of us watching. The
time added, seven minutes, surprised the friendly local, but was
accurate in the current climate. Evening matches will sadly
become fewer for those reliant on public transport. Overall, Mr
Nunn had been sharp and confident in his decisions, and
nit-picking apart, had had a good game.
Pre-match conversation between officials and observer had
revealed that some points had been made clear to referees but
not to observers and others to observers and not to referees.
Meanwhile JCFC remains totally confused about the situation
regarding injuries. Three times in the second half Eccleshill
players had injuries "assessed", ie treated, on the pitch, only
to be waved back on after just 3 seconds. Does the 30 seconds
minimum not apply at this level?
#Post#: 65933--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2023/24
DIR By: carrowman
Date: July 30, 2023, 1:01 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Good to see your first report of the season. Hoping that
eventually, which ever side of the fence you are on, people will
get together and this never ending saga of strikes will be
resolved and you can be able to travel with some reliability and
we can enjoy your tales.
#Post#: 65937--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2023/24
DIR By: nemesis
Date: July 30, 2023, 2:45 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: JCFC link ---
>
> Almost inevitably, it seems, the first Saturday of the new
season's competitions coincided with yet another rail strike.
JCFC therefore had organised a weekend in Hull, from where
either Barton or Beverley could easily be reached by bus. When
the fixtures were published, however, both these Towns were
away. All was not lost and on a sunny morning the 350, after
crossing the Humber Bridge, meandered its way through the
pleasant countryside of N. Lincolnshire, ending at Scunthorpe -
a prime example of better to travel hopefully than to arrive.
The weather Gods clearly thought so too, as they sent a dark
cloud to hang over the town, though fortunately its
precipitation was minimal. The sun reappeared in the course of a
further circuitous bus trip - the number 3 seemingly trying to
tie itself in knots - and JCFC arrived early for
>
> ...
>
>
--- End Quote ---
No, it's there all the time!
#Post#: 66022--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2023/24
DIR By: jad
Date: August 3, 2023, 8:51 am
---------------------------------------------------------
A few years ago the FA chart showing club allocations for steps
2 – 6 claimed that Kidlington FC had been promoted to the
Southern League from Hell (a place I always thought was easier
to to enter than to leave). Given that JCFC has reported in the
past from Halifax and that he has now spent a week-end in Hull,
does that mean that he needs only to pay a visit to the Oxford
area in order to complete the set?
Meanwhile, I see that the first entry in the new Pyramid Patrol
is dated 30 July, while the last entry for 2022-23 is dated 26
July. Is that the shortest close season ever?
#Post#: 66023--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2023/24
DIR By: JCFC
Date: August 3, 2023, 9:45 am
---------------------------------------------------------
A similar thought had occurred to me, though I knew nothing
about Hell in Oxfordshire. I was only aware of the place in
Norway, which seemed a little too far to go. I was aware of the
saying, based on the severity of the law in the two Yorkshire
locations, but also from the song, with the lines
From Hull and Halifax and Hell,
Good Lord deliver us.
I seemed to remember that the recording I have was by Jon
Rennard, but apparently not. It was called The Dalesman's
Litany.
I also seem to recall that the original saying implied that Hell
was ahead of Halifax, but stand to be corrected.
#Post#: 66024--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2023/24
DIR By: Ref Watcher
Date: August 3, 2023, 10:11 am
---------------------------------------------------------
There is a very attractive seaside resort called Hel in Poland.
Perhaps a bit of false advertising from those in charge of the
dark side thinking people may wish to try before they commit to
buying.
#Post#: 66025--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2023/24
DIR By: JCFC
Date: August 3, 2023, 10:20 am
---------------------------------------------------------
At the risk of spoiling a good story, was Kidlington FC perhaps
promoted from the Hellenic League, with the FA chart using an
unfortunate abbreviation? Shame, as I was checking travel
options for Saturday.
#Post#: 66026--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2023/24
DIR By: jad
Date: August 3, 2023, 10:32 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Your explanation is, I am reasonably certain, the correct one.
The version I have always heard has the order Hull, Hell and
Halifax.
#Post#: 66028--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2023/24
DIR By: Whistleblower
Date: August 3, 2023, 10:54 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: jad link ---
>
> Your explanation is, I am reasonably certain, the correct one.
>
> The version I have always heard has the order Hull, Hell and
Halifax.
>
--- End Quote ---
Yes, the order Hull, Hell and Halifax is the one I have known. I
have to say that I have never visited any of the three though I
would quite like to visit Hull and Halifax one day. The choice
of the middle venue will not be mine to make and although I
times I feel I have had intimations of what it must be like (
usually due to attempting to work with useless, indolent and
impossible colleagues; shades of Sartre ) I trust that will not
be a final destination.
#Post#: 66030--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pyramid Patrol 2023/24
DIR By: JCFC
Date: August 3, 2023, 11:18 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Whistleblower link ---
>
> [quote author=jad link=topic=5044.msg66026#msg66026
date=1691076735]
> Your explanation is, I am reasonably certain, the correct one.
>
> The version I have always heard has the order Hull, Hell and
Halifax.
>
--- End Quote ---
Yes, the order Hull, Hell and Halifax is the one I have known. I
have to say that I have never visited any of the three though I
would quite like to visit Hull and Halifax one day.
[/quote]
Beware of Halifax, Whistleblower. It retains Gaol Lane (home of
the Royal Mail sorting office) and more ominously still it
boasts Gibbet Street.
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