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       #Post#: 8499--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Caledonia you're calling me
   DIR By: Whistleblower
       Date: June 5, 2019, 11:11 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       With sincere apologies to the Moderator's wife...simply an
       exercise in random imagination on my part rather than any High
       Church malice. I'll replace with The Moderator's Wife is an
       affectionate wife, the Moderator's Wife is a beneficient wife
       #Post#: 8500--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Caledonia you're calling me
   DIR By: JCFC
       Date: June 5, 2019, 11:13 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: Whistleblower link ---
       >
       > With sincere apologies to the Moderator's wife...simply an
       exercise in random imagination on my part rather than any High
       Church malice. I'll replace with The Moderator's Wife is an
       affectionate wife, the Moderator's Wife is a beneficient wife
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       And certainly not a ruthless wife.
       #Post#: 8501--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Caledonia you're calling me
   DIR By: JCFC
       Date: June 5, 2019, 11:18 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       What I have discovered lately - and with enormous pleasure - is
       that Matthew MacDermid, first seen seen six years ago at
       Crichton, has had a further promotion and will be classed as
       Category 1D for next season, meaning that he will get some
       outings in SPFL Division 2. Excellent news indeed!
       #Post#: 8502--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Caledonia you're calling me
   DIR By: Microscopist
       Date: June 5, 2019, 11:19 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: JCFC link ---
       >
       > [quote author=Whistleblower link=topic=486.msg8499#msg8499
       date=1559751066]
       > With sincere apologies to the Moderator's wife...simply an
       exercise in random imagination on my part rather than any High
       Church malice. I'll replace with The Moderator's Wife is an
       affectionate wife, the Moderator's Wife is a beneficient wife
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       And certainly not a ruthless wife.
       [/quote]
       Indeed, Ruth by name and Ruth-like in nature
       #Post#: 8543--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Caledonia you're calling me
   DIR By: JCFC
       Date: June 7, 2019, 12:47 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       My schemes may not be the best laid, but when it comes to
       ganging agley they are without equal. The train that was to have
       taken me from Carlisle to New Cumnock was cancelled, with vague
       promises of a replacement bus at some point. As this would have
       arrived much too late, the next few minutes were spent obtaining
       a refund. On the sour grapes principle, I suspect that New
       Cumnock could scarcely count as promised joy.
       It would have been good, though, to see once again Graham
       Grainger, who is another to have been promoted to 1D for next
       season.
       #Post#: 8550--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Caledonia you're calling me
   DIR By: Microscopist
       Date: June 8, 2019, 6:59 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       That's a pity, you would have seen a few goals had it not been
       for Scotrail.  New Cumnock - promised joy; maybe not, but with
       many good folk.
       #Post#: 8566--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Caledonia you're calling me
   DIR By: JCFC
       Date: June 9, 2019, 12:00 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       The trip went perfectly from soggy Carlisle via overcast Glasgow
       to sunny Irvine, where Meadow Park played host to
       Saturday 8th June 2019
       SJFA West of Scotland Cup Final
       Kirkintilloch Rob Roy   1   v   1   Beith Juniors
       Stephen Brown; James McCluskey, Josh Hay. 4thers: Matthew
       MacDermid.
       At the ground was a young man who had successfully managed the
       train journey from Carlisle to New Cumnock the previous evening
       - by arriving there three hours before the match, not an optionI
       had fancied.
       The programme was interesting, particularly in relation to past
       finals. Beith played their ace, referring among others to the
       1965 final, a two-legged affair played on Monday and Friday
       evenings, ending with the sides level on aggregate. The decider
       was played the following day, Johnstone Burgh winning the toss
       for home advantage - and the match. This was trumped, however,
       by Rob Roy, whose 1963 final - notionally one-legged - had ended
       with the scores level. They then had to replay it at 7pm the
       same evening!
       The opening minutes were pretty sterile as the teams made their
       presence felt. On the quarter hour, though, Kirky headed home a
       corner to take the lead. Four minutes later a Beith corner was
       disputed by both sides,  Kirkintilloch claiming the ball had not
       gone out, Beith claiming a foul. It was not long before Beith
       drew level, thanks to a powerful header from a hanging cross.
       They escaped soon afterwards, their keeper blocking, more by
       good luck than good management, a potential own goal. Back came
       Beith, hitting the post, the rebound being nicely teed up, only
       for the ball to be blasted over the goal, the net there to stop
       it, and the houses beyond. There was a hold-up, as the supply of
       suitable balls had been exhausted. A tackle from behind brought
       a yellow card for the Beith number 8, who indicated his
       annoyance by miming a passable imitation of a startled frog. The
       Rob Roy keeper did well to tip a long shot over the bar before
       the break.
       The second half saw a caution for a Kirkintilloch defender,the
       low free-kick producing a double save. Play became more open as
       Beith in particular put together some decent moves, only to
       finish tamely,but no further goals were forthcoming. And so,
       pleasingly, straight to penalties. Rob Roy had their first and
       fourth saved, Beith making no mistakes to win by 4-2.
       Mr Brown has been around the upper reaches of non-league
       referees for some time, but is still far from geriatric. He
       looked smart, having celebrated the appointment with a sensible
       haircut. He adjusted his position well, with an excellent
       reverse gear, varied his whistle tone appropriately and his
       triage appeared very sound. He seemed from the stand to be a
       good communicator, with the ability to see the humour in things.
       A good afternoon's work, well received. Mr McCluskey's slightly
       hunched posture during the warm-up had raised doubts, but he
       performed well, contributing some useful flags. Mr Hay had a
       quieter time, but smouldered to good effect. Mr MacDermid, it
       must be said, succumbed to bribery, appearing to accept a
       sweetie from the Rob Roy boss, with whom he developed a decent
       rapport. No doubt he would have handled the board splendidly
       ...had one been available.
       So this time my plans passed off without a hitch  -  or did
       they? On arriving back at Irvine station, I learnt that there
       would be no trains for some time - the figure of three hours was
       suggested - because of overhead damage at Prestwick. The best
       plan was to head back into town and catch the bus to Kilwinning
       with the chance of catching a train coming from Largs. As the
       bus approached Kilwinning the heavens opened and the bard would
       have been inclined to exchange his mouse for the drookit rat I
       became.
       So 2018-9 is finally over, but Tuesday sees the draw for the
       Europa League. With luck there might be a match within reach
       before too long.
       #Post#: 8838--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Caledonia you're calling me
   DIR By: JCFC
       Date: June 23, 2019, 8:47 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       It is reported that Mr Brown has resigned as a referee, in
       consequence of tweets of an inappropriate nature made nearly a
       decade ago, which he now regrets. It is unfortunate that his
       career has ended in this way, as he had done well in the above
       match - which presumably was his last - but is a salutary
       reminder to all users of (anti)social media.
       #Post#: 9344--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Caledonia you're calling me
   DIR By: JCFC
       Date: July 24, 2019, 4:16 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       As promised/threatened JCFC made his way to
       Tuesday 23rd July 2019
       Betfred League Cup
       Albion Rovers   0   v   0.  St Mirren
       Barry. Cook (Renfrewshire); Kylie Cockburn, David Ingram.
       Rovers spent much of last season looking likely to drop out of
       the league until a late rally saw Berwick Rangers suffer that
       fate. Perhaps fittingly the outside of the ground bore a
       prominent poster for suicide prevention. Cliftonhill is a
       comfortable walk from Coatdyke station, but there is nothing
       comfortable about the ground itself. Roughly 60% is out of
       bounds, while the stand was designed not by Archibald Leitch but
       it seemed by Snow White, with a view to accommodating her seven
       chums. JCFC is pretty Bashful, many would add Dopey - but in
       character rather than stature, so the lack of legroom added
       Grumpy to the list.
       For some  years now, Mr Cook has ploughed an unremarkable
       journeyman furrow in the Scottish League, mirroring his
       unremarkable appearance: taller than expected with
       undistinguished features reminding JCFC, but doubtless nobody
       else, of a cross between Michael Barrymore and the Reverend
       Richard Coles. Albion were in yellow and red, St Mirren in
       fuchsia, with the keepers in different shades of blue. The
       officials therefore turned out  in green - not the attractive
       shade of previous times, but a vivid and rather unpleasant hue.
       The match itself offered little to stir the blood - Sleepy came
       close to making his appearance.  The first half saw one parry by
       the Rovers keeper, followed immediately by a clearance off the
       line by a colleague, and a couple of cautions, one for each
       side. The second half was marginally better -eventually! Rovers
       clipped the crossbar with a shot on 68 minutes and a St Mirren
       player received a yellow card for a reckless challenge. The
       closing stages saw the visitors dominate. They netted from a
       cross, but were denied by a flag from the admirable Mrs
       Cockburn, while a couple of further efforts were off target. In
       added time an Albion player tugged back an opponent. While Mr
       Cook was waving his yellow card, another Rovers man went to
       ground and took some time to recover. When he did, he tapped the
       ball away a few feet and may have been cautioned too, but such
       is the desultory nature of Mr Cook's carding technique it was
       hard to tell.
       It is a feature of this competition that in the group stages a
       third point is available in the event of a draw, so we were
       treated to a penalty shoot-out, in the traditional ABAB format,
       rather than the ABBAA seen more recently. Rovers had their
       second shot saved, but Mr Cook ordered a retake and showed the
       keeper a yellow. The retake was scored, but the third was again
       saved. The keeper looked to advance just as early, but the
       officials were hamstrung and the save stood. Each side was
       successful with their next effort, but St Mirren's fourth was
       saved - only for another yellow card and successful retake. When
       Rovers' fifth was deflected into the crowd we were finally able
       to go home.
       Mr Cook did not obviously do anything wrong, but maybe because
       of distance from the pitch it was not clear that he was leading
       rather than reacting to proceedings. So yes, a journeyman
       display, but even journeymen have their uses.
       #Post#: 14674--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Caledonia you're calling me
   DIR By: JCFC
       Date: January 11, 2020, 4:45 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       It was breezy and drizzling as JCFC set off for Ainslie Park,
       but by the time it was reached, the drizzle had turned to rain
       and the breeze to a gale, which led a Brighouse Town cap to make
       a bid for freedom across a busy junction. Fortunately it was
       recaptured, but somewhere along the way one German glove did
       escape. Two matches were on offer there, the choice being the
       one that offered seats, shelter, a kick-off at 20.00 rather than
       20.15 and a referee who sounded like an oil-rig, in the form of
       Friday 10th January 2020
       Lowland/East of Scotland U20 Knockout Cup Round 2
       The Spartans   4   v   0   Cumbernauld Colts
       Brent Falconer (Edinburgh)
       Mr Falconer, in his upper twenties perhaps, made the bizarre
       decision to don a green Chartreuse shirt with short sleeves.
       (Ellis Walls on the other pitch chose black with long sleeves -
       wise fellow) Conditions were difficult and accurate passing at a
       premium. On an artificial pitch it was almost impossible to keep
       the ball stationary for restarts - Mr Falconer declaring "Just
       be sensible, guys" and allowing a degree of latitude, which
       was.wise. Spartans, playing into the gale, began to emerge as
       the stronger side, having a decent shot deflected onto the post
       for a corner midway through the half, and taking the lead on 28
       minutes, a good move ending with a neat finish.
       The second half showed just how good the Spartans' first half
       performance had been. Cumbernauld were largely confined to their
       own half, though they did manage a dangerous break midway
       through the half. On72 minutes Spartans beat the keeper from
       outside the area to go two up.In another break a Cumbernauld
       attacker was one on one with the keeper, who just managed to get
       a foot to the ball. Cumbernauld's keeper had been taking very
       short sideways goal-kicks and on 82 minutes the recipient only
       managed to play the ball to an attacker, who promptly added the
       third goal. Number four followed within a minute from a long
       shot. A frustrated little kick on 90 minutes brought a correct
       yellow for the Cumbernauld number 9, though in the context of
       the match a ticking-off might have sufficed. The restart was
       played short and the final whistle was blown. If it is not a
       contradiction, the score did not flatter Spartans, but
       Cumbernauld probably deserved better.
       The young gentlemen generally gave Mr Falconer little trouble
       and he did not look to trouble them more than necessary. He
       regularly looked for advantage, though it rarely happened.
       Operating without even club assistants, he nevertheless managed
       to make accurate offside and touch decisions, and on the odd
       occasion when there was possible doubt, decisions were accepted.
       Credit to all concerned - players and referee alike - in
       producing a watchable game, but did the spectators enjoy it? No,
       was the general consensus.
       The cap was confined to a pocket for the walk back to the bus
       stop, where there was fortunately a shelter and unfortunately a
       28 minute wait. On turning from Hanover Street into Princes
       Street, JCFC found himself doing a Marcel Marceau imitation -
       the legs were moving, but the body was going nowhere. The wind
       has howled all night, the rain continues to fall -a Plan B may
       be required for this afternoon.
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