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       #Post#: 26550--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Role Models
   DIR By: rustyref
       Date: February 7, 2021, 4:50 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       The majority of officials I have worked with have been great and
       really adopted the team approach, but unfortunately there are
       some that don't fit that model.  The worst I experienced was
       when I was fourth official.  The referee as part of his
       instructions told me to keep a stoppage log, and then said I
       should recommend how much added time to play at the end of each
       half and he would either agree or suggest otherwise.  At the end
       of the first half I suggested 3 minutes, he was around five
       metres away from me when we had this discussion and he said "yes
       I agree".
       At the end of the game the observer said that he felt first half
       stoppage time was inadequate.  Before I had a chance to say
       anything the referee responded with "yes, I thought so as well
       and I don't understand why he put up 3 minutes".  It was
       probably the angriest I have ever been whilst involved in
       officiating, he completely threw me to the wolves just to
       protect himself and there was no way I was ever going to work
       with that referee again.  Had I been put with him again I would
       have found a reason to come off the game.
       On the flip side, my first ever game as a 3E official was 4th
       man at Salisbury on a Tuesday night.  The referee phoned me a
       few days before and said that he had to speak to me as he
       couldn't understand why a North London referee was on that game
       and assumed I was travelling from elsewhere.  Once I told him I
       was indeed travelling from London he insisted that I picked him
       and one of the assistants up so that I could claim the mileage,
       and looked after me from the minute I first spoke to him but
       also called me after the game to ask me if I needed any help.  A
       top man and I will never forget that game.   Most referees are
       great, but unfortunately there are a few self serving
       individuals who will climb over anyone and everyone to get to
       where they want to be.
       #Post#: 26552--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Role Models
   DIR By: RCG
       Date: February 8, 2021, 2:10 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I was 4th official on a cup tie. The referee, senior AR and
       match assessor were from one level, junior AR plus myself the
       level below. Very excited to be there.
       Other than to ask out first names the referee never once
       involved us in discussions, on the pitch walk took senior AR
       with him to talk to one team's players. Match instructions
       consisted of "you know what you are doing, plus 2 sugars in my
       tea at half time"
       Conversely at a pre match briefing with captains and coaches, a
       referee made sure I was introduced (4th official) first as "he
       will be working with you the most, treat him as you would me as
       he has my full backing"
       Compare and contrast!
       #Post#: 26621--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Role Models
   DIR By: ajb95
       Date: February 8, 2021, 2:01 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       To flip this on its head slightly, In my very very early
       refereeing days we used to watch clips of refs from the 90’s and
       early 2000’s: Riley Poll et al for our clips and weekly
       discussions which were really good.
       For an annual meeting we had Mr Elleray come round for a chat.
       The way he spoke made me think he was looking down on us which
       was felt quite patronising.
       Talking to him briefly afterwards he was extremely arrogant and
       seemed very selfish.
       Don’t know others views but just mine which was a brief
       encounter
       #Post#: 26626--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Role Models
   DIR By: bmb
       Date: February 8, 2021, 4:06 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: ajb95 link ---
       >
       > For an annual meeting we had Mr Elleray come round for a chat.
       The way he spoke made me think he was looking down on us which
       was felt quite patronising.
       > Talking to him briefly afterwards he was extremely arrogant
       and seemed very selfish.
       >
       > Don’t know others views but just mine which was a brief
       encounter
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       Mr Elleray is a strange man. He was very supportive of bmb jr
       and did a lot for him, including arranging for him to guest with
       Kassai and team and for him to attend several seminars not
       normally open to youngsters. Jr did his first game at age 11yrs
       and 5 days & it fascinated Mr Elleray that one so young wanted
       to referee not play.  He liked bmb jr, partially I believe,
       because of his manners and respectful nature. Jr always called
       him Sir or Mr Elleray & a few months down the line Mr Elleray
       did comment on his grammar school education as shining through -
       he'd literally only been at the school a week or 2 at the time!!
       He is very much the school principal in life in general, imo -
       good manners go a long way with him.  He phoned me absolutely
       delighted that he had received a handwritten thank you letter
       from jr and was full of praise for my parenting and how much a
       delight jr was to deal with. Some I know a bit more cynical than
       me told me his involvement with jr was just to make him look
       good in certain circles, I have no idea if it was or wasn't but
       I can certainly not fault him in any way with how he supported
       him, took the time to teach him and with how polite, warm and
       respectful he always was towards me. It would not surprise me if
       he fell into the autism spectrum, high functioning I mean, maybe
       Aspergers - to me he has many of the traits. Jr has ADHD &
       Asperger's which was something else that fascinated Mr Elleray
       and they had a few talks about how it impacted his life in
       general as well as with refereeing. I remember he and jr having
       a long conversation about links - Mr Elleray going to Dover Boys
       grammar, I went to the girls grammar there for 1 year, us being
       at the same RA at different times, jr's bond with Hungary
       because he was born on the anniversary of the revolution, Kassai
       being his favorite where a link was that he was born in
       Christchurch which is twinned with Tatabanya, where Kassai was
       born, Mr Palotai being the first foreign referee I ever watched,
       Kassai being his - both Hungarians etc.  Jr even found a link
       with Chris Wild at UEFA who was also a big influence - he'd been
       in the away crowd at an AFCB game that was significant to Jr -
       might have been Jr's 1st game as a newborn actually! It was
       quite the conversation and both of them were equally fascinated
       by it.  Me I got through about 4 coffees while they chatted and
       didn't exist as far as they were concerned! I know lots of
       people speak more negatively about him though, my own personal
       experience & more importantly that of my then very young son
       were only ever positive.
       #Post#: 26628--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Role Models
   DIR By: rustyref
       Date: February 8, 2021, 4:19 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: ajb95 link ---
       >
       > To flip this on its head slightly, In my very very early
       refereeing days we used to watch clips of refs from the 90’s and
       early 2000’s: Riley Poll et al for our clips and weekly
       discussions which were really good.
       > For an annual meeting we had Mr Elleray come round for a chat.
       The way he spoke made me think he was looking down on us which
       was felt quite patronising.
       > Talking to him briefly afterwards he was extremely arrogant
       and seemed very selfish.
       >
       > Don’t know others views but just mine which was a brief
       encounter
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       I've met him a couple of times and he was pleasant enough, but
       he is obviously very prim and proper and very much a
       traditionalist.  Football has moved on a lot since his time at
       the top level of refereeing, and I think there is a question as
       to whether a 66 year old should effectively be in control of
       refereeing in England.  As an example, I've long been saying
       that this archaic system that referees turn up suited and booted
       needs to go, people that work in the City at worst are smart
       casual now, and often less formal than that, so why is it
       considered a requirement to wear a shirt and tie to go to a
       football game?  These days a smart tracksuit with a polo shirt
       looks far more professional, but we are sticking with standards
       from 30 years ago.  My elderly neighbour puts on a shirt and tie
       just to go to the corner shop, but that doesn't mean the rest of
       the street follow suit.
       #Post#: 26631--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Role Models
   DIR By: Acme Thunderer
       Date: February 9, 2021, 2:57 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I always looked forward to Norman Burtenshaw. A bit of a showman
       and controversial at times - now where have I heard that said of
       present-day refs - he was nevertheless a welcome visitor to
       Selhurst Park whenever he turned up (quite often I seem to
       recall), the fittest top flight ref by a long way and always
       on-the-spot to make the big decisions which were almost always
       correct.
       #Post#: 26632--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Role Models
   DIR By: Ref Watcher
       Date: February 9, 2021, 3:21 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: rustyref link ---
       >
       > [quote author=ajb95 link=topic=2144.msg26621#msg26621
       date=1612814468]
       > To flip this on its head slightly, In my very very early
       refereeing days we used to watch clips of refs from the 90’s and
       early 2000’s: Riley Poll et al for our clips and weekly
       discussions which were really good.
       > For an annual meeting we had Mr Elleray come round for a chat.
       The way he spoke made me think he was looking down on us which
       was felt quite patronising.
       > Talking to him briefly afterwards he was extremely arrogant
       and seemed very selfish.
       >
       > Don’t know others views but just mine which was a brief
       encounter
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       At the risk of going of at a tangent, this season we haven't
       been required to wear
       I've met him a couple of times and he was pleasant enough, but
       he is obviously very prim and proper and very much a
       traditionalist.  Football has moved on a lot since his time at
       the top level of refereeing, and I think there is a question as
       to whether a 66 year old should effectively be in control of
       refereeing in England.  As an example, I've long been saying
       that this archaic system that referees turn up suited and booted
       needs to go, people that work in the City at worst are smart
       casual now, and often less formal than that, so why is it
       considered a requirement to wear a shirt and tie to go to a
       football game?  These days a smart tracksuit with a polo shirt
       looks far more professional, but we are sticking with standards
       from 30 years ago.  My elderly neighbour puts on a shirt and tie
       just to go to the corner shop, but that doesn't mean the rest of
       the street follow suit.
       [/quote]
       At the risk of going off at a tangent, this season of course we
       haven't been required to wear a suit and tie for matches.  As
       far as I am aware no game has gone haywire as a result.  However
       if this is going to continue post pandemic I feel we need to
       standardise match day apparel.  There have been occasions this
       season where I have seen referees all dressed completely
       differently whilst still sticking to the tracksuit / polo shirt
       guidelines.  Personally I value feeling part of a team and think
       we should show that we are one by what we wear.  The downside of
       this is that we would all have to fork out extra cash to buy the
       approved outfit as I can't see the FA supplying it gratis.  At
       least when it's suit and tie I just wear my standard work
       clothes (or at least they used to be my standard work clothes
       when I went to the office!)
       #Post#: 26633--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Role Models
   DIR By: Whistleblower
       Date: February 9, 2021, 4:26 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: bmb link ---
       >
       > [quote author=ajb95 link=topic=2144.msg26621#msg26621
       date=1612814468]
       > For an annual meeting we had Mr Elleray come round for a chat.
       The way he spoke made me think he was looking down on us which
       was felt quite patronising.
       > Talking to him briefly afterwards he was extremely arrogant
       and seemed very selfish.
       >
       > Don’t know others views but just mine which was a brief
       encounter
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       Mr Elleray is a strange man. He was very supportive of bmb jr
       and did a lot for him, including arranging for him to guest with
       Kassai and team and for him to attend several seminars not
       normally open to youngsters. Jr did his first game at age 11yrs
       and 5 days & it fascinated Mr Elleray that one so young wanted
       to referee not play.  He liked bmb jr, partially I believe,
       because of his manners and respectful nature. Jr always called
       him Sir or Mr Elleray & a few months down the line Mr Elleray
       did comment on his grammar school education as shining through -
       he'd literally only been at the school a week or 2 at the time!!
       He is very much the school principal in life in general, imo -
       good manners go a long way with him.  He phoned me absolutely
       delighted that he had received a handwritten thank you letter
       from jr and was full of praise for my parenting and how much a
       delight jr was to deal with. Some I know a bit more cynical than
       me told me his involvement with jr was just to make him look
       good in certain circles, I have no idea if it was or wasn't but
       I can certainly not fault him in any way with how he supported
       him, took the time to teach him and with how polite, warm and
       respectful he always was towards me. It would not surprise me if
       he fell into the autism spectrum, high functioning I mean, maybe
       Aspergers - to me he has many of the traits. Jr has ADHD &
       Asperger's which was something else that fascinated Mr Elleray
       and they had a few talks about how it impacted his life in
       general as well as with refereeing. I remember he and jr having
       a long conversation about links - Mr Elleray going to Dover Boys
       grammar, I went to the girls grammar there for 1 year, us being
       at the same RA at different times, jr's bond with Hungary
       because he was born on the anniversary of the revolution, Kassai
       being his favorite where a link was that he was born in
       Christchurch which is twinned with Tatabanya, where Kassai was
       born, Mr Palotai being the first foreign referee I ever watched,
       Kassai being his - both Hungarians etc.  Jr even found a link
       with Chris Wild at UEFA who was also a big influence - he'd been
       in the away crowd at an AFCB game that was significant to Jr -
       might have been Jr's 1st game as a newborn actually! It was
       quite the conversation and both of them were equally fascinated
       by it.  Me I got through about 4 coffees while they chatted and
       didn't exist as far as they were concerned! I know lots of
       people speak more negatively about him though, my own personal
       experience & more importantly that of my then very young son
       were only ever positive.
       [/quote]
       If you read David Elleray's autobiography and his diary of one
       season in his Premiership career then that reveals a great deal
       about the man. I also have met him. He is formidably intelligent
       and utterly focussed on his tasks and aspirations. He is an
       Oxford geographer and I think very much sees refereeing as a
       science rather than an art. Dover Grammar school is the key
       after which Oxford and a highly successful career at Harrow
       School, one of the leading Public Schools in the country. So
       there is a bit of manufactured polish about him which can come
       over as aloofness or arrogance but actually I don't think he is
       either. I see a parallel to Sir John Major, who from a modest
       beginning rose to the very top of his career and used a certain
       way of speaking, very particular choice of words and extremely
       measured delivery, in his senior roles. Major manages to convey
       a warmth though which Elleray doesn't quite achieve. Elleray
       describes how he rarely gets angry because it is such an
       "inefficient" emotion. That speaks volumes I think. In his
       autobiography Elleray is quite candid about seeking and applying
       for a Headmastership at Harrow and other leading Public Schools.
       He never managed to land one despite his many obvious and great
       abilities. I suspect the Governors of these school detected just
       something missing for the complete appointment.
       There is no doubt Elleray is a traditionalist who abhors the
       flash and show-off tendencies employed by some. In private, I
       have heard, he is an affectionate man. Interestingly his
       autobiography reveals that two of his good friends in the
       refereeing world are Steve Lodge and Martin Bodenham, two more
       down to earth people it would be hard to find. Conversely I
       don't think Graham Poll would ever have been a great mate.
       #Post#: 26634--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Role Models
   DIR By: TheThingFromLewes
       Date: February 9, 2021, 4:29 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: Whistleblower link ---
       >
       > [quote author=bmb link=topic=2144.msg26626#msg26626
       date=1612821969]
       > [quote author=ajb95 link=topic=2144.msg26621#msg26621
       date=1612814468]
       > For an annual meeting we had Mr Elleray come round for a chat.
       The way he spoke made me think he was looking down on us which
       was felt quite patronising.
       > Talking to him briefly afterwards he was extremely arrogant
       and seemed very selfish.
       >
       > Don’t know others views but just mine which was a brief
       encounter
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       Mr Elleray is a strange man. He was very supportive of bmb jr
       and did a lot for him, including arranging for him to guest with
       Kassai and team and for him to attend several seminars not
       normally open to youngsters. Jr did his first game at age 11yrs
       and 5 days & it fascinated Mr Elleray that one so young wanted
       to referee not play.  He liked bmb jr, partially I believe,
       because of his manners and respectful nature. Jr always called
       him Sir or Mr Elleray & a few months down the line Mr Elleray
       did comment on his grammar school education as shining through -
       he'd literally only been at the school a week or 2 at the time!!
       He is very much the school principal in life in general, imo -
       good manners go a long way with him.  He phoned me absolutely
       delighted that he had received a handwritten thank you letter
       from jr and was full of praise for my parenting and how much a
       delight jr was to deal with. Some I know a bit more cynical than
       me told me his involvement with jr was just to make him look
       good in certain circles, I have no idea if it was or wasn't but
       I can certainly not fault him in any way with how he supported
       him, took the time to teach him and with how polite, warm and
       respectful he always was towards me. It would not surprise me if
       he fell into the autism spectrum, high functioning I mean, maybe
       Aspergers - to me he has many of the traits. Jr has ADHD &
       Asperger's which was something else that fascinated Mr Elleray
       and they had a few talks about how it impacted his life in
       general as well as with refereeing. I remember he and jr having
       a long conversation about links - Mr Elleray going to Dover Boys
       grammar, I went to the girls grammar there for 1 year, us being
       at the same RA at different times, jr's bond with Hungary
       because he was born on the anniversary of the revolution, Kassai
       being his favorite where a link was that he was born in
       Christchurch which is twinned with Tatabanya, where Kassai was
       born, Mr Palotai being the first foreign referee I ever watched,
       Kassai being his - both Hungarians etc.  Jr even found a link
       with Chris Wild at UEFA who was also a big influence - he'd been
       in the away crowd at an AFCB game that was significant to Jr -
       might have been Jr's 1st game as a newborn actually! It was
       quite the conversation and both of them were equally fascinated
       by it.  Me I got through about 4 coffees while they chatted and
       didn't exist as far as they were concerned! I know lots of
       people speak more negatively about him though, my own personal
       experience & more importantly that of my then very young son
       were only ever positive.
       [/quote]
       If you read David Elleray's autobiography and his diary of one
       season in his Premiership career then that reveals a great deal
       about the man. I also have met him. He is formidably intelligent
       and utterly focussed on his tasks and aspirations. He is an
       Oxford geographer and I think very much sees refereeing as a
       science rather than an art. Dover Grammar school is the key
       after which Oxford and a highly successful career at Harrow
       School, one of the leading Public Schools in the country. So
       there is a bit of manufactured polish about him which can come
       over as aloofness or arrogance but actually I don't think he is
       either. I see a parallel to Sir John Major, who from a modest
       beginning rose to the very top of his career and used a certain
       way of speaking, very particular choice of words and extremely
       measured delivery, in his senior roles. Major manages to convey
       a warmth though which Elleray doesn't quite achieve. Elleray
       describes how he rarely gets angry because it is such an
       "inefficient" emotion. That speaks volumes I think. In his
       autobiography Elleray is quite candid about seeking and applying
       for a Headmastership at Harrow and other leading Public Schools.
       He never managed to land one despite his many obvious and great
       abilities. I suspect the Governors of these school detected just
       something missing for the complete appointment.
       There is no doubt Elleray is a traditionalist who abhors the
       flash and show-off tendencies employed by some. In private, I
       have heard, he is an affectionate man. Interestingly his
       autobiography reveals that two of his good friends in the
       refereeing world are Steve Lodge and Martin Bodenham, two more
       down to earth people it would be hard to find. Conversely I
       don't think Graham Poll would ever have been a great mate.
       [/quote]
       Nor Clattenburg.... lest we forget!
       Lord Elleray showed a complete disdain for him.
       #Post#: 26635--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Role Models
   DIR By: Beryl
       Date: February 9, 2021, 4:53 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: TheThingFromLewes link ---
       >
       > [quote author=Whistleblower link=topic=2144.msg26633#msg26633
       date=1612866384]
       > [quote author=bmb link=topic=2144.msg26626#msg26626
       date=1612821969]
       > [quote author=ajb95 link=topic=2144.msg26621#msg26621
       date=1612814468]
       > For an annual meeting we had Mr Elleray come round for a chat.
       The way he spoke made me think he was looking down on us which
       was felt quite patronising.
       > Talking to him briefly afterwards he was extremely arrogant
       and seemed very selfish.
       >
       > Don’t know others views but just mine which was a brief
       encounter
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       Mr Elleray is a strange man. He was very supportive of bmb jr
       and did a lot for him, including arranging for him to guest with
       Kassai and team and for him to attend several seminars not
       normally open to youngsters. Jr did his first game at age 11yrs
       and 5 days & it fascinated Mr Elleray that one so young wanted
       to referee not play.  He liked bmb jr, partially I believe,
       because of his manners and respectful nature. Jr always called
       him Sir or Mr Elleray & a few months down the line Mr Elleray
       did comment on his grammar school education as shining through -
       he'd literally only been at the school a week or 2 at the time!!
       He is very much the school principal in life in general, imo -
       good manners go a long way with him.  He phoned me absolutely
       delighted that he had received a handwritten thank you letter
       from jr and was full of praise for my parenting and how much a
       delight jr was to deal with. Some I know a bit more cynical than
       me told me his involvement with jr was just to make him look
       good in certain circles, I have no idea if it was or wasn't but
       I can certainly not fault him in any way with how he supported
       him, took the time to teach him and with how polite, warm and
       respectful he always was towards me. It would not surprise me if
       he fell into the autism spectrum, high functioning I mean, maybe
       Aspergers - to me he has many of the traits. Jr has ADHD &
       Asperger's which was something else that fascinated Mr Elleray
       and they had a few talks about how it impacted his life in
       general as well as with refereeing. I remember he and jr having
       a long conversation about links - Mr Elleray going to Dover Boys
       grammar, I went to the girls grammar there for 1 year, us being
       at the same RA at different times, jr's bond with Hungary
       because he was born on the anniversary of the revolution, Kassai
       being his favorite where a link was that he was born in
       Christchurch which is twinned with Tatabanya, where Kassai was
       born, Mr Palotai being the first foreign referee I ever watched,
       Kassai being his - both Hungarians etc.  Jr even found a link
       with Chris Wild at UEFA who was also a big influence - he'd been
       in the away crowd at an AFCB game that was significant to Jr -
       might have been Jr's 1st game as a newborn actually! It was
       quite the conversation and both of them were equally fascinated
       by it.  Me I got through about 4 coffees while they chatted and
       didn't exist as far as they were concerned! I know lots of
       people speak more negatively about him though, my own personal
       experience & more importantly that of my then very young son
       were only ever positive.
       [/quote]
       If you read David Elleray's autobiography and his diary of one
       season in his Premiership career then that reveals a great deal
       about the man. I also have met him. He is formidably intelligent
       and utterly focussed on his tasks and aspirations. He is an
       Oxford geographer and I think very much sees refereeing as a
       science rather than an art. Dover Grammar school is the key
       after which Oxford and a highly successful career at Harrow
       School, one of the leading Public Schools in the country. So
       there is a bit of manufactured polish about him which can come
       over as aloofness or arrogance but actually I don't think he is
       either. I see a parallel to Sir John Major, who from a modest
       beginning rose to the very top of his career and used a certain
       way of speaking, very particular choice of words and extremely
       measured delivery, in his senior roles. Major manages to convey
       a warmth though which Elleray doesn't quite achieve. Elleray
       describes how he rarely gets angry because it is such an
       "inefficient" emotion. That speaks volumes I think. In his
       autobiography Elleray is quite candid about seeking and applying
       for a Headmastership at Harrow and other leading Public Schools.
       He never managed to land one despite his many obvious and great
       abilities. I suspect the Governors of these school detected just
       something missing for the complete appointment.
       There is no doubt Elleray is a traditionalist who abhors the
       flash and show-off tendencies employed by some. In private, I
       have heard, he is an affectionate man. Interestingly his
       autobiography reveals that two of his good friends in the
       refereeing world are Steve Lodge and Martin Bodenham, two more
       down to earth people it would be hard to find. Conversely I
       don't think Graham Poll would ever have been a great mate.
       [/quote]
       Nor Clattenburg.... lest we forget!
       Lord Elleray showed a complete disdain for him.
       [/quote]
       Dont know which was worse, Polls insistence that he was middle,
       flanked by his linesman in public, under threat that if you did
       not comply, you would be removed from HIS adventures, or anyone
       weak enough to go along with the narcissism
       Close second be Rennies requirement that the linos carried his
       kit bag.
       *****************************************************
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