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#Post#: 1872--------------------------------------------------
Re: Banter
DIR By: PuffTheMagicDragon
Date: March 28, 2025, 3:38 am
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Good to hear from you, Gil :)
A couple of years ago I found a cracking pork pie shop, in
Horbury near my daughter, just like the ones I remember as a
kid, anyway, that shop just changed hands and now, they're not
worth going across the road for!
#Post#: 1873--------------------------------------------------
Re: Banter
DIR By: Dave
Date: March 28, 2025, 4:51 am
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To the tune of a brighter future 🫓
#Post#: 1874--------------------------------------------------
Re: Banter
DIR By: Vince
Date: March 29, 2025, 1:42 am
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Yes Gil I remember, walked home a few times wth a soggy paper
bag with Birchalls pies inside, shame it's closing down.
My ipad is on the blink so I invested in a new tablet, not an
Apple one but a Chinese made one considerably cheaper, been
sorting it all day and finally getting it working in a fashion,
takes some getting used to but I'll get there eventually .
Hope all are keeping well, take care all.
#Post#: 1901--------------------------------------------------
Re: Banter
DIR By: PuffTheMagicDragon
Date: April 4, 2025, 8:09 am
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THIS IS WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN
1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm
summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood
up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the
shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom,
that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed
his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions
expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his
parents.'
3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the
jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her
4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to
the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'
4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found
himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the
room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running
for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,
'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
5) POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an
elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6
years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are
you a cop?
Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report.
'My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police.
Is that right?'
'Yes, that's right,' I told her.
'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me,
'would you please tie my shoe?'
6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police
van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9
partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at
me.
'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the
van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers
lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old
daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued
by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes,
walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair
of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a
party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,
'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
9) DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his
church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly
made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his
playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial
should be performed, they had secured a small box and
cottonwool, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of
the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and
with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his
father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the
Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at
my funeral!)
10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of
school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I
can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'
11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was
fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly,
something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and
looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed
in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I
think it's Adam's underwear!'
#Post#: 1903--------------------------------------------------
Re: Banter
DIR By: Dave
Date: April 5, 2025, 5:06 am
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👏👏👏👏👏👏
#Post#: 1910--------------------------------------------------
Re: Banter
DIR By: Vince
Date: April 7, 2025, 1:23 am
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Excellent, love it Puff. 😂😂😂
#Post#: 1978--------------------------------------------------
Re: Banter
DIR By: PuffTheMagicDragon
Date: April 19, 2025, 6:34 am
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Not sure if Ive posted this before?
HTML https://i.ibb.co/b5zLCbwX/476100603-10225352812869551-9053426977251193192-n.jpg
HTML https://imgbb.com/
#Post#: 2054--------------------------------------------------
Re: Banter
DIR By: PuffTheMagicDragon
Date: May 8, 2025, 9:29 am
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1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it
turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class,
because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be
stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for
littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in
Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are
looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat
said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit
me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off
the Grass.'
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a
small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now
a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's
your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of
religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.
The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one
carrion allowed per passenger.'
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other
and says 'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a
fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again
that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
#Post#: 2058--------------------------------------------------
Re: Banter
DIR By: Dave
Date: May 8, 2025, 10:30 am
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😁 Mate hats off so clever 😅😅
#Post#: 2062--------------------------------------------------
Re: Banter
DIR By: Vince
Date: May 9, 2025, 2:08 am
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Excellent mate. 😂😂😂
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