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#Post#: 810--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: PuffTheMagicDragon
Date: October 19, 2024, 2:56 am
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Oh dear, darastic, Vince, drastic!
#Post#: 811--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Dave
Date: October 19, 2024, 3:17 am
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
#Post#: 836--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: PuffTheMagicDragon
Date: October 21, 2024, 1:05 pm
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THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN AFTER USING VEET
HAIR REMOVAL CREAM FOR MEN.
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly
Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as
previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I
nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.
Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the
missus's birthday as a bit if a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I
considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the
previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my
fellow sufferers how wrong I was.
I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after
giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to
the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and
stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to
wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds
was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only
describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people
intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.
Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I
suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the
violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the
destruction of the meat and two veg.
Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the
gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole
with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of
the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time
walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to
the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.
I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream,
took the lid off and positioned it under me.
The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly
quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the
ice cream tub, I hadn't managed to give the starfish any
treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as
I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.
I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and
tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of
them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my
arse.
This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its
way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle
was running its engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was
going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which
should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to
in order to ease the pain.
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to
gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the
kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate
and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry
ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse
while muttering arhhh ooooohhh that feels good ahhh
Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream
and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm
of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at
quite some speed in her direction.
I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at
11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise
she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day
what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my
status so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and
self-respect.
#Post#: 839--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Dave
Date: October 21, 2024, 6:11 pm
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😆😆😆😆😆
#Post#: 842--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Vince
Date: October 21, 2024, 8:44 pm
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Absolutely brilliant Puff.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
#Post#: 849--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Vince
Date: October 22, 2024, 2:03 am
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HTML https://i.ibb.co/sFwqGt3/science.jpg
#Post#: 851--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: PuffTheMagicDragon
Date: October 22, 2024, 2:40 am
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;D ;D ;D
#Post#: 862--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: PuffTheMagicDragon
Date: October 25, 2024, 11:42 am
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Went for an Indian last night...after I had ordered little old
Lady came over and said.. 'Aren't you polite...you're such a
nice boy.!'
Apparently it was my Complimentary Nan..
#Post#: 866--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Vince
Date: October 27, 2024, 2:14 am
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
#Post#: 867--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Vince
Date: October 27, 2024, 2:15 am
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HTML https://i.ibb.co/jfwQfTk/Flatulance.jpg
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