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#Post#: 436--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Vince
Date: September 11, 2024, 1:38 am
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HTML https://i.ibb.co/89Hbcc4/Go-to-bed.jpg
#Post#: 437--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Dave
Date: September 11, 2024, 2:54 am
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Sage advice mate 🤣🤣🤣
#Post#: 439--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: PuffTheMagicDragon
Date: September 11, 2024, 2:56 am
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Yep :)
#Post#: 445--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Vince
Date: September 12, 2024, 2:47 am
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I'm at Pets at Home buying a bag of dog food for my dogs
🐶🐶
While in the queue, a woman behind me asked if I had a dogs
🤔 Why else would I be buying dog food?
So being top notch with the banter I told her "No, I don't have
a dog, I'm starting my Dog Food Diet again" and that I probably
really shouldn't because the last time, I had ended up in
hospital, in intensive care with IV's in both arms and tubes
coming out of most orifices. But I had lost 3 stone in 4 Weeks!
I told her that it was essentially the Perfect Diet and all you
have to do is load your pockets with handfuls of dry dog food
and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. I get the
'Complete' food as it is nutritionally balanced, so it works
really well, and I decided that I was going to give it another
go.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue
was now enthralled with my story)
Horrified, she asked if I had ended up in intensive care because
the dog food poisoned me...
I told her "No, I stepped off a curb to sniff a Cocker Spaniel's
bum and a lorry hit me.
#Post#: 447--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Dave
Date: September 12, 2024, 2:51 am
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
#Post#: 450--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: PuffTheMagicDragon
Date: September 12, 2024, 2:58 am
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Cracker :D
#Post#: 464--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: PuffTheMagicDragon
Date: September 13, 2024, 8:14 am
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Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect girls' getaway
trip, shopping, casinos, massages, and facials.
Two days before the group is to leave Mary's husband puts his
foot down and tells her she isn't going.
Mary's friends are very upset that she can't go, but what can
they do?
Two days later the three get to the hotel only to find Mary
sitting in the bar drinking a glass of wine.
"Wow, how long have you been here, and how did you talk your
husband into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since last night... Yesterday evening I
was sitting on the couch and my husband came up behind me and
put his hands over my eyes and said ‘Guess who'?"
I pulled his hands off to find all he was wearing was his
birthday suit. He took my hand and lead me to our bedroom. The
room was scented with perfume, had two dozen candles and rose
petals all over... On the bed, he had handcuffs and ropes! He
told me to tie and cuff him to the bed, so I did. And then he
said, "Now, you can do whatever you want.
So here I am."
#Post#: 469--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Vince
Date: September 14, 2024, 12:40 am
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Love it Puff, brilliant. ;D ;D ;D ;D
#Post#: 474--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: PuffTheMagicDragon
Date: September 15, 2024, 2:47 am
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An elderly lady was somewhat lonely and decided that she needed
a pet to keep her company. So off to the pet shop, she went. She
searched, and nothing seemed to catch her interest except this
one ugly frog in a weird pet shop
As she walked by the barrel he was in, the frog looked up and
winked at her! ..He whispered, “I’m lonely too, buy me and you
won’t be sorry.” The old Lady figured, what the heck, as she
hadn’t found anything else so agreed to buy it.
So, she bought the frog and went to her car. Driving down the
road, the frog whispered to her, “Kiss me, you won’t be sorry.”
So, the old lady figured what the heck and kissed the frog.
Immediately the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy,
handsome prince. Then the prince kissed her back, and you know
what the old lady turned into?
The first hotel she could find.........She’s old, not dead!
#Post#: 477--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Vince
Date: September 15, 2024, 3:35 am
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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