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#Post#: 395--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: PuffTheMagicDragon
Date: September 6, 2024, 8:42 am
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Farmer John once lived on a quiet rural highway but as time went
by, the traffic slowly built up and eventually got so heavy and
so fast that his free range chickens were being run over, *at a
rate of three to six a week.*
So Farmer John called the local police station to complain,
"You've got to do something about all these people driving so
fast and killing all my chickens," he said to the local police
officer.
"What do you want me to do?" asked the policeman.
"I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!"
So the next day the policeman had the Council erect a sign that
said: *SCHOOL CROSSING*
Three days later Farmer John called the policeman and said,
"You've still got to do something about these drivers. The
‘school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster!"
So again, they put up a new sign: *SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY*
That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and said, *"Your
signs are no good. Can I put up my own sign?"*
In order to get Farmer John off his back said "Sure. Put up your
own sign.
The phone calls to the Police Station stopped, but curiosity got
the better of the Officer, so he called Farmer John, “How’s the
problem with the speeding drivers. did you put up your sign?"
"Oh, I sure did and not one chicken has been killed.
The policeman was really curious and thought he'd better go out
and take a look at the sign.
He also thought the sign might be something the Police could use
elsewhere, to slow drivers down..
So he drove out to Farmer John's house.
His jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign.
*'NUDIST COLONY'*
*'Slow down and watch out for chicks!'*
#Post#: 398--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Vince
Date: September 7, 2024, 1:54 am
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😂😂😂😂😂 good un Puff.
#Post#: 410--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Dave
Date: September 8, 2024, 3:17 am
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Puff
My girlfriend complained I don't listen to her... or something
like that.
Reading a book on anti gravity... impossible to put down.
I know.. groan 😁
#Post#: 413--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Vince
Date: September 8, 2024, 7:56 pm
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A man is on his deathbed, and he asks his wife, “Martha, soon I
will be gone forever, and there's something I have to know. In
all these 50 years of marriage, have you ever been unfaithful to
me?"
Martha replied, "Well, Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes,
I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years,
but always for a good reason."
Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's confession, but said, "I
never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by 'good
reasons?'"
Martha said, "The first time was shortly after we were married,
and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't
pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see
the banker, and the next day he notified you that the loan would
be extended?"
Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive
you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second
time?"
Martha asked, "And do you remember when you were so sick, but we
didn't have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed?
Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he
did the surgery at no charge."
"I recall that," said Henry. "And you did it to save my life, so
of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the
third time."
"Alright," Martha said. "Do you remember when you ran for
president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?"
#Post#: 414--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Vince
Date: September 9, 2024, 1:49 am
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HTML https://i.ibb.co/BBmmgD1/dole-job.jpg
#Post#: 415--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: PuffTheMagicDragon
Date: September 9, 2024, 2:37 am
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ha ha ha
#Post#: 418--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Dave
Date: September 9, 2024, 4:39 am
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Two wi-fi engineers got married. The reception was brilliant.
#Post#: 424--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: Vince
Date: September 10, 2024, 12:43 am
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HTML https://i.ibb.co/kqgpmp2/who-was-that.jpg
#Post#: 426--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: PuffTheMagicDragon
Date: September 10, 2024, 3:05 am
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OMG!
#Post#: 432--------------------------------------------------
Re: Jokes & Funnies
DIR By: PuffTheMagicDragon
Date: September 10, 2024, 7:49 am
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My sex life is like a Ferrari………… I don’t have a Ferrari.
A new species of head lice is resistant to anti-lice shampoo
This has left scientists scratching their heads.
A red curry and a green curry had a race……………...…. It was a Thai
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