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#Post#: 575--------------------------------------------------
Oragamiswan -- Female -- SkyClan -- Medi Cat
DIR By: Jstar
Date: August 3, 2013, 1:06 pm
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Name;; Origamiswan
Age;; 19 Moons
Gender;; She-Cat
Alliance;; SkyClan
Rank;; Medicine cat
Appearance;; Origami is a white she-cat with green eyes. She has
a gray stripe running from her tail tip, forming an arrow on her
forehead. Her fur is very long, and when she lifts her tail up,
it droops like a cane with fur hanging from it. She has a tuft
of fur on her forehead, making it look like bangs. Origamiswan
calls them and treats them like bangs all the time, so that's
what they must be, right? {{must be four or more sentences}}
Personality;; Think of one of those people who are emotional,
innocent, and shy. That's Origamiswan by far. She can be really
sweet, but she rarely talks. When she does, she usually sounds
kinda emotional or just plain shy. Origamiswan's voice is like
an angel's voice, even when she gets mad. Her mood swings happen
almost anytime without anyone knowing. Though, if your annoying
or irratating her, then she will release her mood swings. {{must
be four or more sentences}}
History;; Well, Origamiswan started out as a kittypet named
Swan. She always went into the garden and played with the seeds
and catmint and leaves. When Swan was about apprentice aged, the
female twoleg passed away, and the male moved. But when he moved
he forgot Swan. The desperate kit ran away. She found SkyClan
easily because the twolegplace wasn't far from SkyClan. She
joined and became Origamipaw, the medicine cat apprentice. Her
mentor died of greencough before Origami finished her training.
StarClan gave her the name Origamiswan, and began training her
until the it was done. {{must be three or more sentences}}
Other;;
#Post#: 578--------------------------------------------------
Re: Oragamiswan -- Female -- SkyClan -- Medi Cat
DIR By: Puddincat
Date: August 3, 2013, 1:21 pm
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Origami is spelled like that <<
Mood swings is two words, and there's a funky sentence in
history.
#Post#: 584--------------------------------------------------
Re: Oragamiswan -- Female -- SkyClan -- Medi Cat
DIR By: Jstar
Date: August 3, 2013, 3:44 pm
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edited
#Post#: 585--------------------------------------------------
Re: Oragamiswan -- Female -- SkyClan -- Medi Cat
DIR By: Puddincat
Date: August 3, 2013, 5:06 pm
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She found SkyClan easily, beings the twolegplace wasnt far form
SkyClan. She joined and became Oragamipaw, the medicine cat
apprentice.know why Well, her mentor died of greencough before
Oragami finished her training. StarClan gave her the name
Oragamiswan, and began training her until the it was done.
This part of the history has lots of errors. And I thought you
were gong to fix the spelling errors? Origami is spelled wrong.
Think of one of those people who are emotional, innocent, shy,
mostly lots of mood swings.
This sentence also makes little sense, please fix it.
#Post#: 586--------------------------------------------------
Re: Oragamiswan -- Female -- SkyClan -- Medi Cat
DIR By: Jstar
Date: August 3, 2013, 5:35 pm
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Okay I edited it.
If its still bad
can you edit it for me? DXX
#Post#: 587--------------------------------------------------
Re: Oragamiswan -- Female -- SkyClan -- Medi Cat
DIR By: Puddincat
Date: August 3, 2013, 5:50 pm
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Her fur is very long, and when she lifts her tail up, it droops
like a cane with fur handing from it.
Edit that, please.
She found SkyClan easily because the twolegplace wasnt far from
SkyClan. She joined and became Oragamipaw, the medicine cat
apprentice.Her mentor died of greencough before Origami finished
her training.
Wasn't is missing an apostrophe and spaces come after periods.
Also, you spelled origami 'oragami' lots of times still.
The point of an advanced bio is for you to be advanced, not me.
You need to edit it yourself.
#Post#: 589--------------------------------------------------
Re: Oragamiswan -- Female -- SkyClan -- Medi Cat
DIR By: Jstar
Date: August 3, 2013, 7:37 pm
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too much pressure.
your putting too much pressure on me.
DX
#Post#: 590--------------------------------------------------
Re: Oragamiswan -- Female -- SkyClan -- Medi Cat
DIR By: Jstar
Date: August 3, 2013, 7:39 pm
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there i edited it.
#Post#: 591--------------------------------------------------
Re: Oragamiswan -- Female -- SkyClan -- Medi Cat
DIR By: Puddincat
Date: August 3, 2013, 7:44 pm
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Approved.
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