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#Post#: 1357--------------------------------------------------
Killing the little bastard/ letting go.
DIR By: Justin
Date: October 29, 2015, 7:52 am
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Somewhere in the trillogy jed says something about the little
bastard fire bombing everything. Basically he says that you need
to have the drive/fire to get to this "self realization" to get
to "truth " yes you "need" that drive. However, at some point
the little bastard has to die in the fire.
The very drive to get somewhere is what keeps you from realizing
that you were already there. It's the bait and switch that keeps
you in seeking mode..until you're not.
Gurus seem to perpetuate that something is wrong or out of
place."Is it only you with a problem" :D give me a break. There
never was a problem and the seeing that was the whole point.
That is when you kill the Buddha. He is all but dead in my
world.
I will restrict my posts to this thread. I plan to be very up
front and real here. Any time I have an Idea I am holding onto
this is where I will let it go. I can never know truth. I can
only have my perception of what is. What I can do is not buy
into those as if they were the real fucking deal. So here
goes...
...
I am reading nessas thread about jeds motives and wow, really
believing we've got something here, for a split second. I was
going to start posting there again. Let him know that he doesn't
know shit and that I know he doesn't know shit. Thing is...I
don't know that he doesn't know shit. I don't even know if there
is a Jed...well that was over quickly. The second thing I felt a
twinge about is was why do I even want to post there? What would
be the reasoning there. Show him what I know? Same with posting
here. Egoic bullshit. I don't need to be validated at all.
Letting go the fear that I just don't get it. Accepting that I
can't and won't know how the ride works and just sitting back
and enjoy it for once. Seeker is the sought. Sounds right.
Ive only but glimpsed the truth with my limited perceptions.
That still...isnt IT.... IT. in its purest form without a bunch
of mental garbage to clutter it up. I haven't done or become
anything. This is my humility. This is what will keep bringing
me back to my source. I don't know shit. The little bastard will
die.
To be continued...
#Post#: 1362--------------------------------------------------
Re: Killing the little bastard/ letting go.
DIR By: Justin
Date: October 29, 2015, 8:44 am
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Is having a "gut feeling" knowing something? I don't think so
but I don't know.
Do I need to "know" what knowing actually is? Or does it just
happen?
What might be helpful for me is to know the difference between
what I think and what I know. I see what happens when people
"think" they know how something is or is supposed to be. I'm
going to stay out of that mess. :)
#Post#: 1369--------------------------------------------------
Re: Killing the little bastard/ letting go.
DIR By: Justin
Date: October 29, 2015, 1:38 pm
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--- Quote from: Nessa link ---
>
> OK.
>
> The difference is the feeling that something is not quite
'right'. Have you ever had a conversation with someone about
some trivial matter, normal as they go, but you somehow knew
that the person was bothered by something else. something not
relating to the conversation was on their mind?
>
> How did you know that? They didn't tell you, nothing was
mentioned, but you 'just knew' they were not quite there with
you.
>
> Have you ever had a feeling that someone is lying to you,
although there was no visible explanation? Just a feeling
inside, unexplainable and vague, but it was there?
>
> Jed said this to me a long time ago:
> "but I have a strange talent for understand an unusual amount
about someone from just an email or two. You, and most others,
including me, are not as clever at hiding as we think we are.
The human being is an instrument of remarkable sensitivity even
thought we treat it like ****. “
>
> I am designed that same way. When a car suddenly appears,
about to hit you - you don't 'think', you jump out of the way,
split seconds, no decision making, just instinct.
>
> This is the human reptilian brain, the one that controls all
the automatic functions in the body, evolved way before the
Cortex which we use for higher processing functions such as
reasoning.
>
> The Knowing happens at this level. This is why Jed says that
intellectual pursuits and thinking will not take one there.
>
> Justin, I have walked all the way. I understand that what I
say may cause protest and inner resistance. Like Jed I am very
visceral by nature, and people here call me 'the witch', in a
good natured way. It takes attention to listen and more
importantly - trust what your body tells you. I could even give
you psych articles on the subject, but that would only add to
the mental processing, and that's not what you need now.
>
--- End Quote ---
Ness. I have had feelings but to me that's all they are. They
come and go. I couldn't imagine them being an indication that "I
knew anything" especially anything regarding the workings of
someone else's mind.
We experience quite a disconnect when dealing here. Nessa you
said that it's about being but. You don't know how I am being.
You just see what I am typing here. Maybe you see me typing with
a begrudging look on my face...now imagine that I type this with
a slight smirk on my face sitting here in the sun shine with the
bighorn mountains in the backdrop as I enjoy my lunch break and
moment of relaxation with no problems in sight.
The latter is more realistic but...it still doesn't capture what
'this is'. It's beautiful and my words slap it in the face. They
take me away from here and quite honestly they waste my time and
yours (if we are pretending in linear time). It's just SO simple
that I can't believe that I chased anything else. I seeked what
was already here right in my face.
What I am doing here is removing the comment section from my
experience. I respond and converse now with you guys because we
somewhat speak the same language. But I shit you not that I go
through my day without saying as much as I have right here in
this thread. I don't see the need for it. Peoples opinions,
dramas, actions, reactions have no bearing. They pass right by
and don't even need to be engaged. It's an easy way of being and
it is what is most natural to me. Enlightenment? Hell no. Truth
realization? Probably not. But its damn nice and I plan to stay
here.
I'm just a tourist on this trip of life. I don't need to point
out and disect everything that passes by when I can just sit
back and enjoy the ride. :)
#Post#: 1377--------------------------------------------------
Re: Killing the little bastard/ letting go.
DIR By: rgardner
Date: October 29, 2015, 5:06 pm
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Ain't nothing to kill!
Just continue to observe.
Blew my knee out today. May be spending more time with writing
and philosophizing.
Life's a gas!
#Post#: 1379--------------------------------------------------
Re: Killing the little bastard/ letting go.
DIR By: Justin
Date: October 29, 2015, 10:54 pm
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Much love Ness. Grateful for our discussions :)
Speedy recovery Ray. Nevermind philosophy. You've got girls to
chase.. er tennis balls I think, or both. 8)
#Post#: 1381--------------------------------------------------
Re: Killing the little bastard/ letting go.
DIR By: Plato
Date: October 29, 2015, 11:40 pm
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Funny, my take on the "Little Bastard" is that he is the voice
burried under the billions of layers of what one calls "Me". The
only honest voice of the herd of voices in ones head. The reason
he is "The Little Bastard" is because he is the one that ruins
the party, makes sex and money and fame... Worthless. The voice
that drives one to leave any and all the things one used to call
important behind.
The Little Bastard doesn't need to be burned in a fire, just
needs to be rid of all the programs and paradigms, the thoughts
and concepts one has been gathering since birth, free of it all
and when it is?...... It has nothing to scream about any longer,
it's free to just be cuz that's all it wanted in the first
place.
Or maybe I got that all wrong :D
#Post#: 1385--------------------------------------------------
Re: Killing the little bastard/ letting go.
DIR By: Frits
Date: October 30, 2015, 10:14 am
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I believe Plato is right, the little bastard is the only sane
voice buried under thousands of egoistic screaming moronic
voices. When all is burned, the little bastard will be quiet, it
needs not be torched. It's the only true friend we got.
#Post#: 1391--------------------------------------------------
Re: Killing the little bastard/ letting go.
DIR By: Justin
Date: October 30, 2015, 1:30 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Justin link ---
>
>
> We experience quite a disconnect when dealing here. Nessa you
said that it's about being but. You don't know how I am being.
You just see what I am typing here. Maybe you see me typing with
a begrudging look on my face...now imagine that I type this with
a slight smirk on my face sitting here in the sun shine with the
bighorn mountains in the backdrop as I enjoy my lunch break and
moment of relaxation with no problems in sight.
>
> The latter is more realistic but...it still doesn't capture
what 'this is'. It's beautiful and my words slap it in the face.
They take me away from here and quite honestly they waste my
time and yours (if we are pretending in linear time). It's just
SO simple that I can't believe that I chased anything else. I
seeked what was already here right in my face.
>
> What I am doing here is removing the comment section from my
experience. I respond and converse now with you guys because we
somewhat speak the same language. But I **** you not that I go
through my day without saying as much as I have right here in
this thread. I don't see the need for it. Peoples opinions,
dramas, actions, reactions have no bearing. They pass right by
and don't even need to be engaged. It's an easy way of being and
it is what is most natural to me. Enlightenment? Hell no. Truth
realization? Probably not. But its damn nice and I plan to stay
here.
>
> I'm just a tourist on this trip of life. I don't need to point
out and disect everything that passes by when I can just sit
back and enjoy the ride. :)
>
--- End Quote ---
#Post#: 1401--------------------------------------------------
Re: Killing the little bastard/ letting go.
DIR By: Plato
Date: October 31, 2015, 12:23 am
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My interpretation wasn't an indictment, just how it came across
when I read the trilogy (15 or 16 times) everyone interprets
based on where they are, sometimes its valuable to see others
interpretation just for context....
Then again, 2 glasses of red and a glass of white after a long
day fly fishing could have dulled my senses...
#Post#: 1402--------------------------------------------------
Re: Killing the little bastard/ letting go.
DIR By: Justin
Date: October 31, 2015, 2:05 am
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Nessa, I absolutely do not like to talk :p We went something
like 6 months here without "communication". I liked sharing
ideas with " like minded people" but hmm, something has been set
in motion.
Never seen it as an indictment Steve. I've expressed that I
appreciate your guys input. I appreciate that we see things
differently. I maybe could have quoted more specifically about
contrasting opinions not needing a reaction..
The thing that I keep reminding myself is that the
interpretation still isn't it.
It simply doesnt need interperetation. So...???
I don't have much to say at this point. If I did I guess it
would just be.......thank you. All of you. :)
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