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#Post#: 3--------------------------------------------------
Is anyone ever really Done?
DIR By: Plato
Date: September 24, 2014, 10:58 am
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My last post on the Jed Mckenna forum:
"Woke up and realized I've had my head up Jed's arse for 5
months. Wow. I got the key (actually several and big ones no
doubt) and it's time to kill the f*****g thing and move on.
The paradox of using the mind to get rid of the mind in your
rant is apt here, use your guru to get rid of your guru. (if
he's given you permission, otherwise you're in a religion or
cult). The first job of any disciple is to learn how to quit
following an outsourced leader, to become a leader of self,
thereby attaining HA. The next job is to kill the new leader, to
kill yourSELF thereby attaining T/R.
At this point I can hear you saying "Further" Jed but "ain't
nobody here got time for that!", to my mind "further" holds a
subtext of doing, i'm not in the business of doing, I'm not
doing s*** anymore. My koan is NEXT. (No Ego eXperiences Truth).
NEXT has a beingness subtext, as in "Wait here and see what's
NEXT". My first foray into my own lexicon, there ain't room here
(in my consciousness) for the two of us anymore Jed...
Setting your polished skull next to Byron Katie's, Tolle's,
Thomas Willhite's, Buddha's, Christ's, my mother's, my father's
and all the others I've laid to rest.
Thanks, adios and RIP MFer's.
I'm sure I will catch a glimpse of y'all occasionally in the
rear view mirror but I've finally realized that trying to forge
ahead with eyes glued to the rear view mirror is f******
ridiculous. Consciousness ho! NEXT."
Am I Done? Yes and no, I am done with the idea of a guru, I am
not done with my journey through Maya which means I am always on
full alert, always aware that she and my diminished ego are
plotting my re-entry to the dream state. Sommerset Maughm's book
"The Razors Edge" is always my calling card, it's ever so easy
to step off the line into ego, I (the part of me watching me)
have to be ever vigilant, always digging for truth, always aware
of duality as I await the next indication from...
That indication may be to do the dishes and it may be to leave
the country, neither is larger or more important than the other
but my mind doesn't agree at all and to fall into that, my
mind's idea of what is, is to fall off The Razors Edge, into the
dream state.
#Post#: 4--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is anyone ever really Done?
DIR By: GromerCop
Date: September 30, 2014, 3:13 pm
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'Done' simply means you 'got' it. ALL of it, and this
getting-ness is abiding. You will never go back, impossible
However... we keep on 'getting' it, the depth just gets deeper,
the seeing - more focused.
I feel you are still thinking through stuff, and fair enough,
but done-ness means there are really no questions left, but more
importantly - no doubt.
#Post#: 5--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is anyone ever really Done?
DIR By: Plato
Date: September 30, 2014, 8:43 pm
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Good point, I woke up and realized I was lying to myself about
everything over 20 years ago but I didn't understand what that
meant totally, it took 8 years to gain HA and I decided I could
do a relationship, it was great for awhile and then I fell back
into Maya... Got divorced and started looking for the last 5
years hard. to really kick into gear and the last year and a
half have been totally abiding, flow oriented people around me
are amazed at how my life flows and ask how and why, it's
amazing.
My daughter fell last July 2013, 20 feet onto concrete, broke
her sternum, shattered her heels, shattered her L1 Vertebra and
shattered some bones in her hand, she was in ICU for a month and
it wasn't clear if she would walk again. When i got the call it
was like "Ok, is she alive? Ok I can work with that" I was calm,
it was just what was happening in that moment, no drama, no
anger, just a thoughtfulness that led me to be with her and say
things to her that she later told me helped her in the difficult
stages of rehab. The upshot is that it was the best thing that
could have happened in many ways. I loved the entire experience
because I wasn't a part of the drama that everyone else was in,
I just sort of side stepped it.
This was before I found Jed's books, I did a LOT of work before
I ever read Jed's books but when I read them I KNEW it was truth
and it tied everything I'd been working through all those years
into a very compact package. I have no doubt about "it" (my
consciousness) I just know that when I got close to this place
in the past Maya always sucked me in through some great falling
in love or some great angry problem, thats why I am ultra
vigilant, I value where this has led and I am not about to get
sloppy and fall back down the slide into the dream again.
#Post#: 6--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is anyone ever really Done?
DIR By: GromerCop
Date: October 3, 2014, 11:45 am
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I can relate. Emoting was the first thing that was gone from my
system.
Have you noticed how perception of reading a post addressed to
us vastly differs from reading a post addressed to someone else?
Certainly, for me it was in the past, and even now, although I
can see pretty quickly where the old 'I' is attempting to see
something in the post that's not there. If that makes sense.
The lens ah.. nice to be aware of it.
The first time I realised that was.. a revelation of sorts
hehe.. was that REALLY me?
I was walking for two years before I stumbled upon Jed's books.
From a (nasty) review on the Internet, but I had already
processed so much it took me a second to establish it was
genuine. . You know that part about 'If it makes you feel all
fuzzy and warm; etc. etc... and then it got to the part of 'If
it feels like you are being skinned alive..' Proceded to read
the first book, half way through - 'it' got me. The rest is
history.
May I ask where in the West (the UK I presume) you are roughly?
#Post#: 7--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is anyone ever really Done?
DIR By: biisuto
Date: October 5, 2014, 2:21 am
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"I did a LOT of work before I ever read Jed's books but when I
read them I KNEW it was truth and it tied everything I'd been
working through all those years into a very compact package."
This thread seems an opportunity to gain better access to JM's
work with likewise interested parties. I'm very much interested
in processing myself out of the dream state, but am having a lot
of challenges with gaining any kind of traction with an SA
practice.
I identify very much with what you wrote, P. I haven't done a
lot of what I would call consciously-determined "work" as such,
but I've sure spent a lot of time reading, thinking and
processing this kind of stuff - enough that when I hit Jed (I
landed first at Theory of Everything) it bitchslapped me dead in
my tracks. I would not characterise myself in the vicinity of
"done" but feel pretty well-versed in the theory side of things
and with some ad hoc, undisciplined experience, over many years,
in some of the things he writes about that I brought in with me.
I want out of the lie and I know enough to understand that
getting there is exactly the difference between studying the map
and walking the terrain. I feel like I understand everything
about SA, for example, but I cannot seem to get a head of steam
up enough to actually do anything more than some steamy
journalling. What's with that? Any tips?
#Post#: 8--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is anyone ever really Done?
DIR By: GromerCop
Date: October 5, 2014, 5:04 am
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I want out of the lie and I know enough to understand that
getting there is exactly the difference between studying the map
and walking the terrain.
That's the thing, Biisuto.. you can't get OUT of the lie. No one
can. You are not 'getting there', coz where you 'think' you are
getting - does not exist. All that exists - is what right in
front of you.
So you did a lot of 'work''.. I can only talk from my
experience, but 'the work' seems to be the hindrance for a lot
of people, a way of clinging to an illusion of 'progress'.. .
Could you just drop all the work, for a change?
#Post#: 9--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is anyone ever really Done?
DIR By: Plato
Date: October 5, 2014, 9:49 pm
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I'm actually in the western United States G. Utah exactly...
Could you just drop all the work, for a change?
Hey B. It's not as clear because each person has their own
distinct knot to unravel, The way Jed explained about "slicing
the knot clean through" like Alexander the Great did (I think)
would not have worked for me because when I had my first wake up
I was still very confused and needed to work to get a very
simple understanding of where the hell I was, you can't go
anywhere until you gather that information first. For me I was
religiously confused, beaten and shamed as a child and filled
with an unknown rage that had to be confronted and worked
through before I could even begin.
That took many years and a good therapist to unravel, I don't
see any way of doing that quickly and it was definitely work, I
don't see how you can drop the work initially, for example,
julie in Damnedest worked her ass off in a cabin in the
wilderness, Jed acknowledges that it's work and damned hard work
so I don't understand your comment to "just drop the work"
Gromer. I understand that there is a time when it's time to stop
working at it but that time comes on it's own and you know it
intrinsically when it appears, to try and stop working
prematurely is a mistake and wanting or desiring to be through,
knowing the answers without doing the homework. you have to do
the homework.
SA only worked for me when I had something really bugging me and
couldn't seem to sort it out, for example one of the last
hurdles I made in exiting my prior religion was to completely
identify why it was all a lie and I couldn't get it clear just
in my head so I started writing it out and almost like I was
preparing a fact sheet to take to court. It was about 15 pages
and as I wrote it it all started to become clear in my mind and
then about a week later because I had written it out I was
"given" the answer to many other things that I then started
writing out and when I was done writing I was completely done
with my religion and I was extremely clear why and never had to
visit it again.
That's how it worked for me, there has to be something stewing
for me to do SA, I do it when I feel i need clarity, if I don't
need clarity on an issue, whats the point of doing it? so my ego
can feel good that I did it? A friend had to "divorce" his
mother who had a Borderline personality disorder and he felt was
ruining his life, he wrote her a 36 page divorce letter, his
therapist told him to write another shorter one, he kept at it
for six weeks until he pared it down to one small paragraph that
basically said "I no longer desire to have you in my life for my
own welfare this is the last you will hear from me, goodbye" he
did send her that note but sending it was not what freed him of
the pain and hurt he felt, what freed him was the 6 weeks of
re-writing his guts out, very painful stuff and yet when it was
done he was clear, sending the letter to her was just making
sure she could do no more damage in the future.
Thats SA 101 to me, just to get the shit out of the way so you
can start making clear decisions as life comes at you and not
decisions while looking through faulty mud covered lenses. Step
one is to get clear and know where you are, SA can provide some
of that. What also helped me was a self awareness seminar called
PSI, I went through it over a 6 month period and it cleaned out
a ton of garbage I was carrying around, it was my first wake up
call in 1991. Through it I quit my Job and started following my
passion in life until it became my profession. Now all of that
is superfluous but at the time it was the step I needed to get
to the next step, I don't believe you can just skip to the head
of the line and be done, it comes through a learning progression
and you can accelerate it or slow it down by the choices you
make, Ive done both.
hope that helps clarify the process a bit, I gained from jess
books and seeing how some were just not ready for his material
which is upper level for sure, and then how some like Julie and
Lisa were ready to pop, my story is a lot more like Lisa's, I
was going through a terrible divorce and in a lot of pain, I was
ready to hear what came my way when it did.
Plato
#Post#: 10--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is anyone ever really Done?
DIR By: biisuto
Date: October 6, 2014, 12:27 am
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Just a quick reply while I'm on the job...Thanks a heap, both of
you. I understand what you mean about the lie, GC: I know I'm
stuck here, but I want to be able to process it in real time,
not always in the rearview, you know?
#Post#: 11--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is anyone ever really Done?
DIR By: Plato
Date: October 6, 2014, 11:37 am
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Great point, processing in real time is the goal (if there is a
goal), thats the razors edge, such a fine tuned state of being,
always in the zone, always aware and mindful of egoic desires
which never go away, only get checkmated at every turn when
processed in real time.
#Post#: 13--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is anyone ever really Done?
DIR By: GromerCop
Date: October 8, 2014, 5:12 am
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I don't understand your comment to "just drop the work" Gromer.
Just look at the list of all that B. managed to read through.
There comes a point when (in my experience) one has to just get
so fed up and stop fliing the void of the search with other
people's words.
I haven't read much at all, all of a dozen at the most. Two
years minus two weeks, to be precise.
Egoic xesires DO go away. Preferences for how you like things -
will remain.
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