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#Post#: 7243--------------------------------------------------
The value of engagement.
DIR By: Plato
Date: January 25, 2024, 1:48 pm
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The last post from a spirited discussion in here was August 29th
2023 by Frits in
HTML http://platoskave.createaforum.com/general-discussion/another-g-u-t/210/
So no interaction all of October, November and December... At
the beginning of December My partner and I had a lot going on
with our businesses and parties that we had planned and were
hosting on consecutive days at our two separate buildings and it
all coinciding on the big 2 day long Christmas parade and
fireworks here in town.
At the last minute I had to change the date of my party to the
same night as her party because of various family situations and
I did so without consulting my partner. This led to an argument
which spun a bit out of the realm of simple miscommunication, at
which time I lost all sense of equanimity... I was HOT.
Under such stresses I usually call my aunt who is not only an
adult but she has been teaching people how to adult for nearly
30 years, she is my go to when things go sideways around here. I
started ranting and raving about how ridiculous my partner was
being and how I wasn't going to stand for this and blah, blah
blah. She pointed out that she hadn't seen me like this for
nearly 10 years and that I must be really upset and she just let
me vent for about 10 minutes straight.
It was at about this juncture that I splintered a bit and became
2 people, the person that was complaining and validating why my
complaints were on point and couldn't be assailed in any way
shape or form... and the second person who was watching the
first person with a growing sense of humor at how ridiculous,
stupid and wrong the first person was being.
At about the 15 minute mark into my verbal excremental
explosion, the 2nd "me" was almost laughing out loud at how
stupid I (numero uno) was sounding as I still continued to
verbalize these nonsensical arguments. At this point she asked,
"is anything different, has there been any change in your life
or routine? Because this just isn't like the you I have known
for the last decade."
That was a great question, I thought about it for a bit and
realized that rarely over the last 10 years had I not gone to
bed reading or listening to a group of books that I find
spiritually valuable or uplifting (but over the Fall I had
gotten away from that practice) and reading or writing in IGF
(in the beginning) or Plato's Kave (which for several months had
been very quiet).
10 years ago I had a realization that some people could go to
church on Sunday and be filled with love for everything for the
rest of the week and then get their "batteries re-charged" the
following week. I realized then that I was not one of those
types of people, I need to be constantly plugged in to live at
the level of vibration that works for me, I need daily work and
reminders to stay "above the fray" of the Dreamstate and I'm
willing to do whatever "practice" (to use a dirty word) it takes
to stay out of the maelstrom.
But on this occasion I forgot, through a temporary distraction
or whatever, I let go of my very helpful patterns, It happened
incrementally, not noticeable at all until worlds collided and I
responded by falling into bygone patterns, 50 Year old ruts that
an "I" created while trying to negotiate the Carnival for all
those years.
The great news is that at the 20 minute mark of this
conversation with my aunt, the first guy, numero uno, was gone,
back to his cage and equanimity was back. In my other lives
these episodes inevitably turned into months and years of bad
feelings; anger, hatred, betrayal with eventual divorce's (3) on
the way... but not any more.
I called my partner and we went to lunch, I apologized, took
full ownership of the entire debacle, asked her forgiveness and
asked how, since I had messed things up by moving the party, I
could support her in her endeavors at her business.
Like magic, Love moved all rigid structures out of the way and
we moved forward supporting each other anew.
All this to say that I really appreciate the courage shown here
and the willingness for people to put in the time for themselves
and others here in the Kave, it's often not easy but I find it
well worth the effort.
Cheers! Plato ;)
#Post#: 7244--------------------------------------------------
Re: The value of engagement.
DIR By: Crystal
Date: January 26, 2024, 7:32 am
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Wonderful that the two of you were able to patch things up. Tis
the season for mistletoe. Sometimes it seems that no matter
what it is, whether it is being a great artist, a musician,
understanding the understanding, there is a layer of expectation
to always maintain being good at it. Like being a good person
for the rest of the week by attending church on Sunday. Yet we
don't know what we will be faced with from moment to moment and
how we will respond.
#Post#: 7245--------------------------------------------------
Re: The value of engagement.
DIR By: Plato
Date: January 26, 2024, 10:18 am
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--- Quote from: Crystal link ---
>
> Wonderful that the two of you were able to patch things up.
Tis the season for mistletoe. Sometimes it seems that no matter
what it is, whether it is being a great artist, a musician,
understanding the understanding, there is a layer of expectation
to always maintain being good at it. Like being a good person
for the rest of the week by attending church on Sunday. Yet we
don't know what we will be faced with from moment to moment and
how we will respond.
>
--- End Quote ---
Hmmm. I've thought about your post this AM and I'm a bit
puzzled. Currently I am in love with existence because "I" is no
longer at the wheel (for the most part). Occasionally "I" gets
back in the driver's seat (as in the story above) but because
there is the Knowing here, it doesn't take long to see when the
vehicle has drifted out of it's lane and into oncoming traffic,
a quick correction (awareness of an "I" trying to assert
control), and voila! Flow/equanimity is back and "I" is once
again relegated to the trunk of the vehicle.
As to expectation of doing something to the best of one's
ability (once deciding to "do" something) That's just always
been here, it seems inherent with falling in love. I fell in
love with art as a child and decided to "do it" and along for
the ride seemed to be a desire to do it well... Isn't that part
of being excited about doing anything, the desire to do it well?
Music on the other hand...I don't do well at all, I get by with
limited ability, very frustrating over a lifetime with moments
of enjoyment thrown in, mostly because of the interpersonal
relationships in the band, it keeps us hanging out together a
couple times a year.
As for living in flow, once the Understanding drops, there is a
very strong will to never go back to the chaos of "I". Fate?
Yes, no one has any knowledge or control over how life will play
out, granted. What one can have control over is the amount of
awareness one brings to every situation that does arise, this is
the only gift to humanity I see, everything else is a slog
through the deepest mud. If you want out of the bog, do the work
towards awareness, toward relinquishing "I Me Mine" to the
background of existence, it's that simple (even though very
painful to see through the falseness of "I" and abdicate).
#Post#: 7246--------------------------------------------------
Re: The value of engagement.
DIR By: GOD
Date: January 26, 2024, 2:13 pm
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--- Quote from: Crystal link ---
>
> Sometimes it seems that no matter what it is, whether it is
being a great artist, a musician, understanding the
understanding, there is a layer of expectation to always
maintain being good at it. Like being a good person for the rest
of the week by attending church on Sunday. Yet we don't know
what we will be faced with from moment to moment and how we will
respond.
>
--- End Quote ---
My first and only goal, way back when I was 16 or 17 years old,
was to be a great and very successful guitarist. I got pretty
good at it, and I have played in bands for more than 32 years.
At some point I even got me a record deal, played some big gigs
and did some appearances on local and national TV.
This all changed when the identification with this "I" — this
"Frits" character — dropped away and disappeared. In 2014 I quit
the band I was in, took some time to finish and record some
songs I had laying about (with the idea of starting some new
band), and when that was all done... I stopped making music. I
realized the whole "being a musician" thing was ego driven, a
way to make the "Frits" character a reality (which it is not) by
playing for people so they would say "wow, he's really good at
it." I stopped and never felt the need to play again. I
sometimes pick up a guitar and play some notes, or get behind a
piano and play some chords for a few minutes. That's all,
doesn't mean anything to me anymore.
When it hit me that being a musician was only an ego-driven
thing, I was done with making music, done with playing in bands,
done with performing... done with being good at it. After that
more things that made "Frits" into a believably character
started dropping away and basically there is no need for me to
be good at anything anymore. I go with the flow and react the
way this "body-mind-structure" reacts without the need for me to
interfere. It (the "Frits" character) will do the best it can
when it promises to do something, if that is what is happening.
And yes, I don't know what will happen next and I don't know how
this "body-mind-structure" will react, but I know it will be for
the best. I trust that whatever will happen will be the best
that can happen; and because I have no expectations, I cannot be
disappointed. If something happens that doesn't feel to good, I
trust that this needs to happen so that something better can
happen. I don't see how anything really could go wrong.
I'm not sure why I wrote this, but it is what came up after
reading the above posts. ;)
#Post#: 7247--------------------------------------------------
Re: The value of engagement.
DIR By: j(
Date: January 26, 2024, 9:40 pm
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I seem to be headed in the opposite direction, not to shelter
the "I" from being but quite contrary, to more exposure. More
question. If it's not natural???
Get it. Dive in. She's asking for understanding from an "I" but
your to reluctant to say anything because you're not an "I."
You've some unrelenting unrelated entity. Frustrating... No
doubt. If it needs practice. It's not real. !
HTML https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=-TgsUKgaTpo&si=t_axM9h9hgkNHkuS
#Post#: 7251--------------------------------------------------
Re: The value of engagement.
DIR By: j(
Date: January 26, 2024, 10:54 pm
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And if you can't vibe with me on this red wine and musical vibe
don't speak to me on the Spirit for real 🤘
#Post#: 7253--------------------------------------------------
Re: The value of engagement.
DIR By: GOD
Date: January 27, 2024, 5:07 am
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So... how much wine did you drink? ;)
#Post#: 7254--------------------------------------------------
Re: The value of engagement.
DIR By: j(
Date: January 27, 2024, 7:31 am
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Enough apparently. Cleaned up what I could. Too late to turn
back now. Said what I said...
#Post#: 7255--------------------------------------------------
Re: The value of engagement.
DIR By: Plato
Date: January 27, 2024, 9:03 am
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Ooooh! A vicious thrust of the sword from Justin! I tried to
parry it but "fake fvcks" (now deleted) drove straight into my
heart and killed all the charlatan in me... I guess it's over
for good, I can't keep up this charade any longer... you win
J(... you wi......... <thud>
Like Nessa you seem to be doubling down on the intellect as the
way out, no wonder you two couldn't play nice, each trying to
out think the other... I gave up on that, maybe I'm just not
smart enough to Trump or Biden my way through this life, so be
it... I'm just doing Love. :-*
#Post#: 7256--------------------------------------------------
Re: The value of engagement.
DIR By: j(
Date: January 27, 2024, 10:04 am
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Apologies for drinking too much but at the end of the day it's a
real question to consider. If it needs practice is it real or
authentic. At what point is it just another facade?
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