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#Post#: 5095--------------------------------------------------
Cords
DIR By: Frits Snips
Date: October 4, 2021, 1:50 pm
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Cut all cords, or do cords get cut? I've been trying to maintain
a good relationship with my two sisters, but as I go further
down the road, something seems to be fvcking it up. Of course
it's a completely insane time, due to corona and sh1t, and my
sisters and I do basically agree, though I do not do what the
government tells me to do and my sisters do... anyway... where
was I?
I feel I'm moving away from the traditional attachments of
family and I can sense it breaking down, but it's not by my
decision, yet I feel it's okay... I guess cords are getting cut,
as family-ties are man made and artificial.
Don't know, just a thought.
#Post#: 5096--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cords
DIR By: rgardner
Date: October 4, 2021, 3:29 pm
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All attachments are self-conceived. You established the value,
and judge the results.
#Post#: 5097--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cords
DIR By: Plato
Date: October 5, 2021, 5:29 pm
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I felt trapped by familial (and other) relationships from early
childhood and also used those same connections to somewhat
unknowingly manipulate others, kids, parents etc. Now there is a
live and let live agenda, I engage or disengage when I want to
without guilt or expectation (mine and others) driving those
choices.
When I choose to interact I give everything I have to the
interaction, I'm with the other person in a way that was never
possible before because at least half of my mind was trying to
assess what the other person was thinking (mostly what they were
thinking about me) and the other half was working to figure out
what would impress them. What a disaster I was! It's no wonder
relationships were constantly strained and breaking.
Now people seek me out because I am not seeking anything, its a
nice place to work from really.
I'd say when you're honest, honest people gravitate toward you
and dishonest people fear interactions with honest people. But
what do I know?
Cheers :D
#Post#: 5098--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cords
DIR By: Frits Snips
Date: October 9, 2021, 7:40 pm
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--- Quote from: Plato link ---
>
> When I choose to interact I give everything I have to the
interaction, I'm with the other person in a way that was never
possible before because at least half of my mind was trying to
assess what the other person was thinking (mostly what they were
thinking about me) and the other half was working to figure out
what would impress them.
>
--- End Quote ---
Yes, very recognizable. [emoji120]
#Post#: 5099--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cords
DIR By: rgardner
Date: November 24, 2021, 4:22 pm
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Yeah you are mucked up Frits. We all are.
Who can claim independence from the shit show going on?
#Post#: 5100--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cords
DIR By: Plato
Date: November 25, 2021, 11:20 am
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Independence is in perspective, obviously no one is physically
independent from this experience but that has always been the
case, not just because of the most recent bogeyman at the door.
Happy Thanksgiving! I’m definitely thankful for everyone here
😎🙏❤️
#Post#: 5101--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cords
DIR By: j(
Date: November 25, 2021, 11:36 am
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--- Quote from: Plato link ---
>
> Independence is in perspective, obviously no one is physically
independent from this experience but that has always been the
case, not just because of the most recent bogeyman at the door.
>
> Happy Thanksgiving! I’m definitely thankful for everyone here
😎🙏❤️
>
--- End Quote ---
Well said. My plate is pretty full with family and wholesome
life. We're pretty active and I'm always aimming towards the
pinnacle of my potential so really no interest in spending alot
of time in that particular reality. Im truly thankful for the
one I live in. Love ya guys.
#Post#: 5102--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cords
DIR By: rgardner
Date: November 25, 2021, 4:07 pm
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Goodness to all. And to all a good night.
#Post#: 5103--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cords
DIR By: Plato
Date: November 29, 2021, 9:03 am
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What’s an actor without a character to play? No-self is true
self, but actors on a stage need personas and costumes and
backstories, and I already have all that, so that’s how I roll.
The mountain is a mountain again. What else would I do, walk
around as no-self? Not an option.
-Jed McKenna’s Theory of Everything: The Enlightened Perspective
This seems apropos, it’s only when we are identifying as our
character that we fear the future. When we know that we are only
playing out our role in this play, when we understand that we
are really one with everything and that there is no “we”, life
becomes a slow ride down the Mississippi instead of the
continual bucking of a rubber raft in Cataract Canyon.
#Post#: 5104--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cords
DIR By: biisuto
Date: December 1, 2021, 12:41 am
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Hi guys, been wanting to pop back for some time, but was adamant
about needing to truly let go of that tar-baby of that
conversation with Nessa. Although a very interesting and
obviously intelligent entity in her own right, I don't like the
insinuating venality of her style at all. The exchange with her
was feeding a wolf that I prefer to starve, so I had to be
unilateral and just let it go. Judge if you will, but I had to
move on.
I was also at the beginning of a new and exciting venture and
could not afford the distraction - and am so glad for it.
But it segues very interestingly with your post here, Fritz,
about cords...
The missus and I are a little up-country, on a long-overdue,
mid-week 2-night getaway at this fancy retreat, courtesy our son
and DIL, by way of thanking us for taking their girls every
Thursday. So weird to get rewarded for doing what is itself a
reward! It's a cluster of glammy little chalets plonked into the
bush. We've just been a watching a family of kangaroos moseying
through the trees, beyond the well-manicured lawns...so quiet!
We've been so busy getting this thing off the ground that the
timing couldn't be better to be doing exactly this - which is
about as close to nothing-at-all as we've had in a real long
time. I've got a handful of books in my kindle backlog I'm
working on but when I saw the Kave email just now after so long
away I thought I'd pop in and say g'day and spend some minutes
feeding back on Fritz's post...woven over a period of hours,
between snacking, bush-walking, business talk, discussing
clients and strategies... resting, staring at trees, listening
to birds chat amongst themselves... heaven.
When I first read your post the other month (didn't respond at
the time) it did ping me to reconsider my own attachments -
especially those within my own birth family, which has always
been synonymous with the word "problematic". There's a spectrum
of emotions mixed up in all relationships, to be sure...and no
two are anything alike. But I think it may have been Adyashanti
- or that other guy who's name always escapes me - who said
"nothing tests your enlightenment like spending time back with
your family".
In pondering this it became clearer to me that our relationships
(as I think of them) actually need maintaining else they
naturally decay. They need tending, like gardens. This is what
makes being one of nature's most prolific and prolifically
social creatures such a dynamic and often very taxing experience
- and perhaps so exhausting and infuriating for those who eschew
the downside of society without actually putting physical
distance between them and it....even though society doesn't
actually exist.
Having written that, I also have quite old mates who require no
attention whatsoever - yet whenever one of us pops up in the
other's radar its as if we'd never parted, with conversational
threads picked up almost exactly where they were put down,
sometimes decades back (such as happened at a recent school
reunion). The Kave here is a similar kind of bubble.
But we see also that there are cords that do require pruning or
at least "expectation management": troublesome familials again
come readily to mind here, but as long as one participates in a
society one cannot help but rub up against those who ruffle
one's feathers...and family is notorious for that because we
BOTH don't get to choose who our family is AND there are a
number of family-oriented cultural events that herd us together
- such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays, etc...but if you
pause to think about it: family doesn't really exist either,
does it?
Like society, family is just people...who happen to share a lot
of DNA and some formative history. If you genuinely disdain of
each other, then what is is that keeps you in each other's
orbit, but such traditions?
And now re-reading and having distilled my thoughts a little
more on the above, it seems a no-brainer to me now that
relationships and attachments aren't actually synonymous at all,
are they...? The former are 'wet', living, breathing, dynamic
and ever-evolving things, while the latter are more the 'dry',
egoic projections of an isolated mind upon objectified 'other'
people, places and things... basically the very worst kind of
mental and emotional cobwebs imaginable!
...Which seems to make all the more reason for pruning, indeed!
I say YES to relationships and NO, THANK YOU to attachments!
Huzzah! ;D
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