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#Post#: 3747--------------------------------------------------
teaching
DIR By: jacoba
Date: October 23, 2017, 5:36 am
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I stopped teaching (at a small coaching institute) a year ago.
Trans-personal psychology, ACIM, family systems and other
schools were at the base of this training. First year is about
the coaches-to-be themselves, their issues, their believes etc.
Theory and lots of experiential work, exercises to let them
feel, experience for themselves how things work. Walking the
talk as they say.
I quit because I found people want to have their issues, if one
of them is resolved there's another and another. Or the same
thing in another context. What else ? People just want to be 'a
person', and having 'issues' makes sure you are. There's very
few serious people.
I saw too that being a 'Coach' was strengthening ego as well.
It's the bottom line, even when your well-meaning, sincere, well
taught, aware of your own ego etc etc. Even then.
I've experienced this myself.
And then this just was just another group with it's jargon,
inside crowd, those who belong and feel 'save' in the group.
Just another one; no offense but Plato's cave is or has been
just like that. ( and 'so what' you might say )
To resume: true, people did grow up a little, some more than
others but they did. But if they did I don't know if it had
anything to do with what we taught.
I was disgusted with this, disillusioned, maybe mostly with all
the pretensions, like ' this is life changing! ' - so I
resigned. And I am sincerely grateful for the experience I had
as a teacher.
These days -since the beginning of this year- I work in a
shelter of the Salvation Army.
The visitors have no pretensions at all, they don't want to get
somewhere. I guess that's the reason why I choose this
unlikely place. I remember applying for the job felt like a
joke. No theory, I just need to listen to their weird stories,
nod, exclaim and try to make them laugh a bit and I like that
part most - making them laugh.
It's utter chaos all the time. refugees, foreigners, people at
the edge in any which way ( psychological, health wise, old age)
some dialect and different languages spoken. They have no
investment in society whatsoever. I am like them.
Some mornings I read something ehh 'holy' ( no bible) and get
heated discussions, it's crap they sometimes say, and I like
that, that's being honest. They do not feel the need to hide
ego, which is often done in so-called spiritual circles. And ego
can be fascinating.
I'm playing the role of mother to a bunch of children who
sometimes are much wiser then anyone gives them credit for.
I guess I just went from one extreme to another, I do admit to
being contrary, what's the word, perverse, recalcitrant ( i'm
using a dictionary, remember I'm dutch. )
Why am I telling you this ? I don't know. I just do. I'm looking
at my motives, at what's happening, being surprised at the
things I apparently do or don't do. I'm finding out that
shutting up works for me, give no advice, don't tell them
anything; I ask questions and listen and find I'm sometimes out
of my depth which is good for me. It's kind of lonely but I'm
comfortable with that.
#Post#: 3748--------------------------------------------------
Re: teaching
DIR By: biisuto
Date: October 23, 2017, 8:23 am
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Thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts, jacoba.
hands-on working with people on or beyond the fringes of polite
society reveals a social strata which exhibits a common,
satisfying sort of honesty (or at least frankness... even if
lacking in articulacy sometimes). before i got much interested
in spirituality or nondual philosophy i did some work with
addicts and then prison inmates and have thought about it a lot
since i started in this direction... i’ve wondered many times if
there’s not some kind of elemental divergence in imaginative
capacity, that makes such social pariahs simply unable to
sustain the level of belief required to live the bullshit life
at the same saturation level that the rest of us seem (only
relatively) more able to keep up with.... just a thought, but
i’ve had it many times and am yet unable to really get it out in
words.
Thanks again for your post.
#Post#: 3749--------------------------------------------------
Re: teaching
DIR By: j(
Date: October 23, 2017, 9:49 am
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Hey Jacoba, thank you for sharing a little bit about yourself. I
wanted to chat earlier but didnt really have any context.
Interesting topic though. I recently had a job offer as somewhat
of a “troubled” youth counselor and have decided NOT to take the
job for similar reasons as to yours for resigning from your
position. I know from experience that people must first want to
change, to help themselves and then sometimes even that is not
enough. I dont know where the actual tipping point is in which
there is real progress made. I seem to find myself somewhere in
between making real strides and going nowhere at all. Its a
curious thing though, life and growing up, maturing as an adult
and seeing the utter futility of doing anything whatsoever. As
for people wanting their lives, their issues, I really couldnt
agree more. Even those with insufferable circumstances, they
cling to them with all they are whether they are aware of it or
not. This is easy to see from a certain elevation but not to
common a realization. Ive determined that the only point of
being alive is to live and that comes with the whole array of
...well, “look for yourself” seems the only good way to put it.
Its bittersweet which is, in my opinion, much better than
nothing at all.
That brings me to the whole notion of dissolving the ego. I dont
want to go too far into it but I believe that its important to
see through the ego, not to necessarily do away with it entirely
as commonly portrayed in spirituality circles. Their has been no
enlightened master that has taught anything and did not still
have some trace of ego. As long as there is a functioning
person, there is a personality/ego. Where did we even decide
that being a person was something to overcome. That is actually
a great question for anyone who is starting this thing. Rather
than trying to become an enlightened being I would personally
suggest that people look at where they became such a heavy human
and work from there. On their perspectives and definitions. On
properly dealing with the things that they dont want to look at
rather than covering them up. The way out is through. Once your
through there is no need for “practice.” My gosh things can get
so skewed when your looking for answers out there.
Thing is, that quest can lead one right back. I came here after
a brief stint at IGF. I seen almost immediately that Kenneth
wasnt him. When I got to IGF I was at a decent place of
understanding having read the trilogy. When I got here I started
listening to the others. Taking what they had to say with a
grain of salt. Some things said were more truthish than others
but what I had to say was absolute and utter bullshit and it
drove me crazy and I do mean Crazy. We had the whole non dual
theory debates from top to bottom. Nailed it, in theory, more
than once ;) But yet there was something missing. It didnt quite
add up. Here we had several individuals that could teach a class
on being without ego who were FULL of ego themselves and they
would quickly debate you if you would suggest otherwise. Go
figure.
I dont know what happened. Years of this and suddenly the whole
charade fell apart. If nothing else we served each other as a
reflection that we could not otherwise see for ourselves. Now
days im really just a regular dude living out my days here in
the states. Its not all rainbows and unicorns over here but
there is One noticeable difference, an unmistakable presence of
self reliance that had otherwise not been in the years leading
up. A good sense of trust in intuition and the innate ability to
again find YOUR way in the midst of all the noise and
distraction out there that can bring one to begin asking the
tough questions in the first place. That is something that cant
be bought among the many things that are being sold out there.
My only real practice now is to return again and again to my
truth. A couple of deep breaths usually do the trick and from
there “the way” seems a bit clearer. Not sure that can be taught
but then again I wouldn't be interested. Part of the
satisfaction of finding yourself is getting lost in the world.
Even if it seems that very few actually find the way back.
Best to you.
#Post#: 3750--------------------------------------------------
Re: teaching
DIR By: Plato
Date: October 24, 2017, 6:28 pm
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Thanks for the post Jacoba, I think we are all stewing on
something and sometimes a post from someone else is just the
right hinge point to allow an expression that otherwise might
fester.
Since returning from Italy I've had a bit of an epiphany, I seem
to desire the cave, the anchorites cave, a place where I can be
alone, I relish this more than anything and yet I have a job,
career path that I enjoy, Im not interested in a complete
disengagement from humanity, (I like good food and a nice bed)
at least not yet but I believe I may have found the next best
thing.
When I got back from europe I decided to embrace jet lag, I
don't have a boss or a 9to5 job so it was easy to stay on euro
time. Currently (and for the foreseeable future) I go to sleep
at about 7 or 8 PM and wake up at 2:30 to 3:30. This gives me a
solid 5 hours of quality time with no one else seemingly on the
planet, dead, as if a zombie apocalypse had cleaned out the
sewer of humanity and I'm the only one left standing, then, 5
hours later the world awakes, I have given whatever I wanted to
give, 5 uninterrupted hours and I can now play in the world
however it appears.
Today a guy stopped and wanted to buy a van I have for sale, we
started chatting and he offers to buy lunch, I say sure, after
lunch I take him all around town and show him whats going on, he
decides to buy the van, asks if I want to join him on the drive
to the next town over to get the cash, "sure" next thing after
about 4 or so hours we are parting ways and he's making plans to
bring his son down here (they live in Twin Falls Idaho), he
wants him to move here and we have become very close friends in
the process... and I got my work done before any of this took
place. Then, just now, a guy who had called on the van and left
a message (while I was with the other guy), all I did was text
him that it had sold, he/she started a bit of a conversation on
text, normally I'd probably just end it with a "thanks" but it
seemed he (or she) was making some sort of connection on some
level so I just played along, it's happening as I type this, and
it has rolled into a thing where this person feels a connection
and is calling me tomorrow, "just to chat" honestly I don't know
how this stuff rolls out but I feel like Jim Carey in "Yes Man"
I'm just open to the stuff that arises in a way that feels so
natural, like if I were to be the way I used to be, clipping all
this stuff off at the bud, that would now feel un-natural...
Does this make any sense? it feels like rambling... oh well,
that's it.
#Post#: 3751--------------------------------------------------
Re: teaching
DIR By: jacoba
Date: October 25, 2017, 12:12 am
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--- Quote from: biisuto link ---
>
> i’ve wondered many times if there’s not some kind of elemental
divergence in imaginative capacity, that makes such social
pariahs simply unable to sustain the level of belief required to
live the bullshit life at the same saturation level that the
rest of us seem (only relatively) more able to keep up with....
just a thought, but i’ve had it many times and am yet unable to
really get it out in words.
>
>
--- End Quote ---
Thank you Biisuto, your words brought to mind an example of
this.
A few days ago some people at the shelter were talking about the
weather and someone mentioned the weather forecast for the next
14 days. Then this guy shouted : Fourteen days! I don't believe
it, they can't do that" and to me: '' do you believe that ?"
"ehh No", I said ( i'm a good liar), "good girl!".
He's about 70 and has very little education, never argue with
him; he can use some foul language. I don't know if this is a
lack of imaginative capacity, maybe he wasn't articulate enough
to say 'why would you want to know what's going to happen the
next fourteen days? Why this urge for things to be predictable ?
Be surprised,!' Some people are less brainwashed than 'normal'
people, and you can learn to appreciate that, if you've got ears
to hear.
J( You said "If nothing else we served each other as a
reflection that we could not otherwise see for ourselves" -
That's a good reason for a platform such as this, finding your
own blind spots. Maybe that was my reason for posting - my
former boss phoned me yesterday, he wants me to come back. I
knew that when I wrote my post. And I put my views on the
coaching business a little bit strongly - on purpose. Just to
see what it looks like. Does it matter what you do ? Provided
it gives some joy ? I'm indeed stewing on something.
And Plato, I do the same, I sometimes get up at 5 am, just
because the world is empty and silent. It does something for me,
there's joy in those hours.
best to you all, jac
#Post#: 3752--------------------------------------------------
Re: teaching
DIR By: jacoba
Date: November 2, 2017, 4:21 am
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if the teacher is ready, students will come.
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