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#Post#: 7585--------------------------------------------------
Dog vs. Cat Diary
DIR By: Mac
Date: April 4, 2012, 3:25 pm
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[center][glow=red,2,300]The Dog's Diary[/glow][/center]
HTML http://amipourlavie.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/happy-dog.jpg
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
[center][glow=red,2,300]The Cat's Diary[/glow][/center]
HTML http://www.catfacts.org/body-language-cat-facts-3.jpg
Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other
inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although
I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In
an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their
hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However,
they merely made condescending comments about what a "good
little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration
of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the
food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of
"allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to
my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate
one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was
walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the
stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies
and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is
regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return.
He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I
observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain
that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now ...
#Post#: 8039--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dog vs. Cat Diary
DIR By: Chiprocks1
Date: April 20, 2012, 2:39 pm
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Hahahaha. That Cat's got some serious issues!!
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