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#Post#: 16462--------------------------------------------------
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE
DIR By: Mac
Date: January 31, 2013, 2:50 pm
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[glow=red,2,300]RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR A PERFECT
MARRIAGE[/glow]
For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you
will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you
will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always
clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great 'one
liners' from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope
you get a chuckle or two reading them once more.
[center]RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a Little
beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I
go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and
mine is in Tennessee ..
3. I take my wife everywhere, But she keeps finding her way
back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I
suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric Toaster and electric
bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
To sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well Because there was
water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me,
"In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the
mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late For
the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her First name was
'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to
interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's
on the TV?" I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it. These were the good old days when humor Didn't have
to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple
fun. And he always ended his programs with the words,
"And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.[/center]
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