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#Post#: 16376--------------------------------------------------
Matt Damon kidnaps Jimmy Kimmel, hosts 'Jimmy Kimmel Sucks'
DIR By: Mac
Date: January 28, 2013, 1:00 pm
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[glow=red,2,300]Matt Damon kidnaps Jimmy Kimmel, hosts 'Jimmy
Kimmel Sucks'[/glow]
HTML http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/MSNBC/Components/Photo/_new/g-ent-130125-kimmel-damon-02.380;380;7;70;0.jpg
HTML http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLNq9oMswmE
--- Quote ---
> Matt Damon finally got his revenge on Jimmy Kimmel. The actor
took control of Kimmel's late-night show Thursday night,
starting with the credits -- the ABC show's title was tweaked to
"Jimmy Kimmel Sucks" and the host's face had been defaced -- and
continuing through the monologue, guest interviews and
conclusion of the show.
>
> The show started out with the video that had been released
earlier in the day of Damon with a bound and gagged Kimmel, whom
he had kidnapped. After the credits rolled -- where all the
guests, including the musical act, were announced as being "Matt
Damon" -- the actor wheeled Kimmel out on stage, still tied up
with duct tape and gagged with a necktie.
>
> "Welcome to tonight's episode of 'Jimmy Kimmel Sucks.' I am
your host, Matt Damon," he said. "Let me ask you this, as an
audience is it weird to see a person with actual talent host
this show?"
>
> Damon went on to explain that Kimmel had bumped him from the
show "1,205 times" -- a reference to when Kimmel first started
his talk show and began signing off with the line "Apologies to
Matt Damon, we ran out of time" -- the joke being that no guest
that he had on air possessed the star power of Damon.
>
> He said he'd been "waiting for this moment for a long, long
time. This is like when I lost my virginity except this is gonna
last way longer than one second."
>
> Damon also likened himself to Luke Skywalker and Kimmel to the
Death Star, saying of Kimmel: "He's big and round and easily
destroyed through his garbage hole."
>
> He continued: "Look at Jimmy over there, with a gag in his
mouth. You've never been funnier, my friend. Jimmy Kimmel is to
late-night talk show hosts what Magic Johnson is to ...
late-night talk show hosts."
>
> Damon also went on to make some changes at the show, including
replacing sidekick Guillermo with Andy Garcia -- who came
complete with heavy, Guillermo-like accent -- and bandleader
Cleto Escobedo Jr. with Sheryl Crow (who later performed her new
single, "Easy"). Ben Affleck also popped up as a cue-card holder
who demonstrated his loyalty to Kimmel, while Robin Williams
dropped by to do jokes during the monologue.
>
> "This is unbelievable -- it took Jimmy 10 years to accomplish
what I just accomplished in 90 seconds," Damon said of the
show's changes.
>
> He explained that the origin of all the "hatred and
bitterness" is that Kimmel is an aspiring actor and Damon has
beaten him out for every role he wanted. A video of Kimmel's
"auditions" showed him trying out for roles in "Good Will
Hunting," "Adjustment Bureau," "Happy Feet 2," "We Bought a
Zoo," "Stuck on You" and "The Bourne Ultimatum," during which
Kimmel was confused about who was playing Jason Bourne despite
the fact that the movie was the third in the Damon-starring
franchise.
>
> A slew of A-listers popped up as guests -- Nicole Kidman, Gary
Oldman, Amy Adams, Reese Witherspoon and Demi Moore -- all of
whom continued the joke, saying that Kimmel "f------ sucks"
(Kidman), is a liar who once cooked DiGiorno's Pizza and passed
it off as homemade (Moore) and slipped the tongue during an
on-air kiss (Adams).
>
> At one point, Damon quipped: "Jimmy is always complaining
about how hard it is it book celebrities on this show. We're
only halfway through and I've booked seven big celebrities --
and that's not even counting me!"
>
> Several other famous faces -- along with Kimmel's parents --
also appeared in recorded videos to praise Damon. Said Don
Cheadle: "Thank you for allowing America to laugh again."
Kimmel's parents, meanwhile, told Damon that he was "the son we
always wanted."
>
> Damon also brought out Kimmel's ex, Sarah Silverman, with whom
Damon shot the "I'm F------ Matt Damon" video that went viral in
2008 (Kimmel and Affleck later released a follow-up, "I'm
F------ Ben Affleck"). Silverman described her relationship with
Kimmel to the fill-in host.
>
> "You know when you're in New York and you pass those hot dog
vendors and you think, 'I'm not going to eat one, it's not for
me,' and then the smell gets to you, and you pound two or three
of them? And then later one, you're puking, 'Why did I put this
inside of me?' And you think about the encasing and all the
entrails that are probably in there? So I guess it's like that."
>
> Kimmel, incidentally, barely uttered a word during the entire
episode despite being onstage the entire time.
>
> At the end of the show, Damon asked Kimmel: "Is there anything
you want to say before we wrap things up? Wait, I'm sorry, we're
out of time."
>
> During the East Coast airing, Kimmel tweeted: "You win this
round Matt Damon. But I will win the war."
--- End Quote ---
#Post#: 16414--------------------------------------------------
Re: Matt Damon kidnaps Jimmy Kimmel, hosts 'Jimmy Kimmel Sucks'
DIR By: Chiprocks1
Date: January 29, 2013, 5:33 pm
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[center]Sammy Hagar Offers Safe Haven for Jimmy Kimmel after
Matt Damon Takeover
HTML http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmIa4Dsp8Ug
#Post#: 16416--------------------------------------------------
Re: Matt Damon kidnaps Jimmy Kimmel, hosts 'Jimmy Kimmel Sucks'
DIR By: Mac
Date: January 29, 2013, 6:28 pm
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Alright
#Post#: 21701--------------------------------------------------
Re: Matt Damon kidnaps Jimmy Kimmel, hosts 'Jimmy Kimmel Sucks'
DIR By: Mac
Date: August 6, 2013, 11:23 am
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and so it continues....
[glow=red,2,300]Guillermo Crashes Matt Damon Interview [/glow]
HTML http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjGVLuE8sqo
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