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#Post#: 895--------------------------------------------------
Whelp, I have a dilemma, and this is awk but w/e
By: A Sexy Tree Date: July 1, 2013, 12:26 am
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As some (*coughcoughonecough*) of you may know, and others of
you may have inferred, I think gender is a silly thing that I
don't identify well with. I don't really like being a girl. I
don't want to be a guy or anything, but like. I dunno man. It's
weird.
This has been a struggle of mine for a year or two, but I've
never really known how to put it into words, or what to do about
it, you know? Because, like, I don't want to go around and be
like 'IMMA FREAKING GUY OKAY' because that's not how I feel but
I'm also not like 'LOOK I HAVE BOOBS ITS GRAT' because it isn't.
So I've been pretty torn.
Finally, I settled on the idea that I'd be really super happy if
I could be a freaking androgynous little shit. I'm pretty much
half way there because I'm really frigging lucky that I'm so
tall and have a naturally deep-ish voice and a small chest. But
it's still super easy to tell I'm a girl, and that makes me
pretty upset sometimes.
So like, I decided I wanted to get a binder, and start working
out more with a focus on muscle /tone/ than muscle /bulk/.
Because, you know, if my arms and legs are more toned, they'll
look more masculine than the floppy pieces of crude muscle I
have now. So I was like, okay. Now I've got a game plan, and I
feel pretty confident about this. If I can make people look
twice before they determine my gender, I'll be pretty happy with
myself. (It's kinda a weird opinion, I know, but w/e. Idgaf at
this point.)
The problem was approaching my parents. They've made it
/incredibly clear/ that while they're a ok with gays, they
aren't okay with transgendered people. They've literally asked
me whether or not I was trans*, because they were concerned for
me, and kashfkshf parents why.
Now as I've said, I'm not trans*. The idea of having facial hair
and everything else weird that comes with being a guy is not
what I want. But I'm afraid if I go to them and try and explain
to them how I feel, they'll take it that way, and that's no
bueno for anyone involved. So I decided I had an idea. People
have told me with my haircut I look a bit like Sam from
Supernatural. He's a dude. Comicon is coming up.
I could cosplay as Sam and use that as an excuse to buy a
binder.
I got completely and entirely shut down. My mom was adamant that
this was a stupid idea, unnecessary, and that I was over
thinking it. I tried to explain it was my money and I didn't see
why it mad a difference to her, and it ended with her shouting
'On what planet do you thinks its reasonable for a woman to pay
40 dollars for something to bind her boobs.'
And now I feel like crawling into a hole and dying.
Because it's more apparent than ever that there is no way I can
both do what I want with my appearance and be really close to my
parents.
And it's like a slap in the face, and I don't know what to do,
and I'm just feeling pretty miserable right now.
... So yeah, I guess that's my rant/complaint thing. You all
don't need to reply or anything, I just wanted to get that off
my chest. (heheh. heh. get it off my chest.)
#Post#: 897--------------------------------------------------
Re: Whelp, I have a dilemma, and this is awk but w/e
By: Red Date: July 1, 2013, 5:49 pm
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Reply pending for me, I just wanted to acknowledge your post at
this point. Thanks for letting us know, we'll help as much as we
can, I'm sure!
#Post#: 900--------------------------------------------------
Re: Whelp, I have a dilemma, and this is awk but w/e
By: MisterCuttlefish Date: July 2, 2013, 2:18 pm
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Same as Red, I wanted to acknowledge your post.
I'm really happy we've created such a community in real life and
here on Pargee that we have the confidence to talk about
personal issues and can reach out to one another. o v o
I can't even begin to express how proud I am to have such strong
friends.
Good luck Tree, I will support you in any way possible. u v u
#Post#: 919--------------------------------------------------
Re: Whelp, I have a dilemma, and this is awk but w/e
By: Captain Castaway Date: July 7, 2013, 11:05 pm
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AUGH YOUR PARENTS WHY
SOMETIMES THEY'RE GRAT AND THEN OTHER TIMES THEY'RE NOT
ESPECIALLY YOUR MOM
WHY
I JUST
I CAN'T
A;SDFHAOSDIFJA;SDJF *TURNS INTO A RAGING ROILING SQUID OF
ABSOLUTE ANGER AND THEN TURNS INTO A VOLCANO*
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