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#Post#: 562--------------------------------------------------
I'm
By: Red Date: May 30, 2013, 5:18 am
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So I guess this is kind of a weird concept, but you know how
people have different types of sexualities and stuff and can
feel different ways towards people and they just are like that,
like that's just how they are? This may sound weird but I think
I'm actually 10 years old. Maybe it's really outlandish, but I
actually think that I'm like 10 years old in the body of an 18
year old. I feel like like I'm constantly acting around people,
like, if I need to act like an adult, I do, and I guess I
normally act like that enough to the point where I'm always
subconsciously acting like it. I used to dread doing work or
going to school, but now I like look forward to going to work
sometimes, and then I reflect on those feelings and realize that
any like I've had for it is utter crap, like I'm actually maybe
brainwashing myself? I feel that this whole "telling myself I'm
okay" business is just an excuse for me to act normally and try
to be a function adult, when all this time I'm just covering up
feelings of being a kid all the time. It sounds so stupid and
belittling when I say things like it, but I guess I just
constantly feel like I should be running around playing and
stuff, like I actually feel like that, and then I use every
ounce of my will that I have to suppress that and be an adult.
For example, just the other day at work, I (as usual) had
nothing to do, and the thought crossed my mind to sing and the
top of my lungs and then I had to mentally attack myself and
tell myself that was a bad idea, like I didn't even naturally
think that it was a bad idea, I had to repeatedly tell myself.
The thing that sucks most about it (or is the best thing about
it) is that I'm stuck in this 18 year old body that, while
having responsibilities and the ability to drive a car and work
on computers and stuff and command a lot of authority by
intimidation when needed, I don't look a thing like how I
perceive myself in my mind. Like, I know who I am in my head and
what I should look like, and then I look in the mirror, and it's
a round of "who-the-hell-are-you-oh-my-god-I-have-facial-hair"
like, forgetting that I have facial hair is an hourly
occurrence, I'm being serious. I honestly have never heard of
anyone else having a problem like this, but I want to know your
thoughts on the matter. Like, I guess if you have questions I
can answer them? Now that I've kindof just come to terms with
this?
#Post#: 568--------------------------------------------------
Re: I'm
By: MisterCuttlefish Date: May 30, 2013, 6:02 pm
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You should read Hatsukanezumi no Jikan.
Its hard to get through at first, but it basically talks about
this kind of thing.
I know what you mean.
I don't want to turn 18. At all. I really just want to not have
responsibility.
I find myself enjoying things like coffee or politics or school
work hURL
and then i laugh at my own jokes and say things aloud but think
"oh wait i shouldnt do that"
but why not who the hell even cares
and then i realize that im just going to be some other
individual in the world who grew up
so at first i think "i dont want to be that"
but sometimes its a good thing to know someone's been there
before you, there are plenty of doors
i think it really depends on your knock, friend
fromadulthoodnoonesurvives
#Post#: 570--------------------------------------------------
Re: I'm
By: Red Date: May 30, 2013, 6:17 pm
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"from adulthood, no one survives" should be the Pargee motto
#Post#: 571--------------------------------------------------
Re: I'm
By: MisterCuttlefish Date: May 30, 2013, 6:30 pm
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yes
#Post#: 572--------------------------------------------------
Re: I'm
By: MisterCuttlefish Date: May 30, 2013, 6:33 pm
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it doesnt translate into latin at all
google translate you have failed me again
#Post#: 573--------------------------------------------------
Re: I'm
By: Red Date: May 30, 2013, 6:50 pm
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Ahh, i like both of our mottos
we'll have two mottos
#Post#: 579--------------------------------------------------
Re: I'm
By: Captain Castaway Date: May 30, 2013, 8:00 pm
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It shouldn't be our motto
it should be our greeting
that is how we say hello
we bow and whisper under our breath fromadulthoodnoonesurvives
but seriously I kinda know how you mean, maybe not to the same
extent, but I still feel somewhere between 14 and 16. I keep
having to remind myself that I'm the same age as the other
seniors, if not older. :I It's very rare that I actually ever
feel 18.
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