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       #Post#: 501--------------------------------------------------
       How to Steal Souls: A Beginner's Guide (S. 1, P. 1)
       By: MisterCuttlefish Date: May 20, 2013, 8:31 pm
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       Hello and welcome to your first lesson on Soul Stealing.
       I am Mister Cuttlefish and I will be your [s]guide through
       Hell[/s] mentor for the duration of your [s]stay in Hell[/s]
       lessons. u v u
       First off, you might want to become a Demigod, as it is
       difficult to steal souls as a human.
       If you are not born with this wonderful gift (as I am), you may
       want to consider becoming the following:
       [list]
       [li]A psychic vampire[/li]
       [li]A will-o'-the-wisp[/li]
       [li]A Striga[/li]
       [li]A Barghest[/li]
       [/list]
       If you can't become one, just sign a contract with one. Its
       basically the next best thing [s]and probably healthier for
       you[/s].
       Now that you've become/signed a contract with a thief, you'll
       want to train with them or with a tutor like me. Too bad I'm
       booked for the next millennium, right?
       This takes about 200 years+ depending on how well you do. You'll
       die immediately if you're not up to it, so its okay. That
       happens.
       Well, since you're either dead or [s]dead because humans don't
       last that long and let's face it, you're not special[/s] you've
       passed your exams and now you're a qualified Soul
       Stealer!!???!?!
       (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚&#1002
       3;
       !!!1!!1!!111!!!!???/?@!?/1/ good for you
       Time for your next step.
       You'll be wanting to get a familiar..
       NOW- Familiars are hard to pick out, I would know. But you want
       a good, obedient pet that will take care of all your dirty work:
       -Cleaning
       -Potions
       -Summoning spells/Protection spells/Hexes
       -Eating the bodies
       -And talking to Satan [s]I'm so sorry if you have to do this
       yourself, I understand[/s]
       I recommend either amphibian/fish familiars or the common cat
       familiar, dog familiars are alright but wolves do better in the
       long run. Owls and all that other Harry Potter Hogbullwax aren't
       gonna fly in Satan realm. Here, its like Voldemort's butthole on
       high, swished around, spat out and metal sparkle orangutans.
       If you happen upon a bad familiar, kill it. No mercy.
       Good work!
       So far, you've become a magical creature [s]or become a human
       sacrifice[/s], trained for a number of years [s]or become a
       human sacrifice[/s], gotten a familiar [s]or become a murderer
       and a human sacrifice[/s] and now you want to know the best
       places to find good, juicy souls.
       Amiright? I'm right.
       Okay, all you have to do is--
       End of this Free Kindle Sample
       You may go back to your Home screen or purchase this book in the
       Kindle Bookstore.
       Thank you for reading!
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