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#Post#: 935--------------------------------------------------
The Disastrous Adventures of the Dashingly Daring Arnold P. Bott
om
By: Erwinfoxjj Date: February 17, 2013, 11:48 pm
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As usual it was hot, dry, and blindingly sunny all across the
vast deserts of Nassa-Nassa. Arnold slumped on his camel, who
being acclimated to this environment showed no signs of tiring,
and sighed. Sweat rolled profusely down his face and neck, and
dark stains bled through his khaki button up shirt, its sleeves
being rolled up and absolutely soaked. His dark black hair on
his arms was matted with it just as his bushy moustache was, its
handlebars beginning to droop more and more each hour. The pith
helmet he wore did little to help besides keeping pool of
moisture out of his eyes, as for shade it did little against the
light that reflected off the white sands. The knee high shorts
were a most pleasant choice for this journey although the camel
hair seemed to make them hotter on the sides against the
animal’s coat.
Following behind and to his right was his assistant Abu dul
Jippa-Jippa dul Nassa, Abu for short he called him. He was a
native to Nassa-Nassa and his dark brown skin gave him more
protection from the sun’s rays. He too had begun to sweat but in
much less quantities than Arnold. He wore the traditional wide
brimmed circular hat of leaves that resembled banana leaves but
no shirt and khaki shorts. He did not slump like Arnold in his
saddle but rather wore a quite happy smile, being Arnolds
personal assistant and guide meant he could avoid the work at
the village, as well as watch this blundering foreigner grow
ever more miserable in Abu’s homeland.
“Bloody hell, Abu,” Arnold moaned and Abu’s smile widened for he
knew what was next, “How much longer until this damned ruin? I’m
very nearly out of water.”
Abu stifled his laughter and replied, “Not far White Man,” Abu’s
pet name for Arnold, the others were called White Vultures.
Not a minute after Abu’s reply Arnold crested another dune and
below it was an oasis of blue water, not like the murky springs
in England but actually blue. Arnold cheered up and charged his
camel down to it. Around it was a series of massive limestone
slabs raised to keep the shifting sands out of the green circle.
Quickly dismounting his camel Arnold moved quickly for man who
complained an hour earlier that he was dying. He drank straight
from the pond before Abu crested the dune in curiosity, then he
saw Arnold drinking furiously. Abu charged down the dune yelling
at Arnold to cease his drinking from the pond. Curious as to
why, Arnold stopped and let the water in his hands fall back
into the pond.
“What in blazes now Abu?” asked the frustrated Englishman.
“Don’t you know of these,” Abu paused to find the word in
English, “Oasis, yes Oasis you call them. You must drink through
the leaves of the Valli tree before you drink, else the
Englishman will grow sick and Abu will not get paid.” Arnold was
suspicious but decided to listen to his native companion.
Reluctantly Arnold waved his hand for Abu to do his tribal
tricks and stood aside. Abu retrieved Arnolds metal cup and took
a leaf from the nearby tree, which was rather short and
resembled a dying bush more than a tree. He placed the leaf atop
the cup and filled the cup slowly through the leaf. This took
some time for the cup to fill and the liquid to pass through the
leaf. When he was finished he passed the cup to Arnold with a
grin from ear to ear, Arnold hated this grin because he wasn’t
sure if it signaled another one of Abu’s tricks which he loved
to play on foreigners, or if it came from Abu’s pride of showing
off to the foreigners.
Arnold finagled the cup so that he held the leaf down as he
raised the cup to his mouth and attempted to drink from it. Soon
he discovered the meaning behind Abu’s grin when the contents of
the cup poured under the leaf down Arnolds face and chest,
soaking him in cool water. Flushed with anger he launched the
metal cup across the oasis and into the water. Abu was doubled
over with uncontrollable laughter despite the angry glare
pointed at him from Arnold. Realizing the humor of the situation
Arnold soon joined him in a crescendo of giggles that ended with
full blown laughter and both of them sitting by the water. This
happened on many occasions and took the stress away from many or
their journeys together. Abu had once convinced him that to get
venom out of a wound he had to hang up side down and chant a
phrase in Abu’s language that roughly translated to “I am a bat
of the day and I will feast on your embers.” This lasted for
nearly an hour before Abu told him that the snake was not
venomous at all.
“Well Abu,” Arnold began once he was able to gain his breath and
talk, “well played once more dear friend. Let us drink and rest,
we should not linger to long. Professor Gardner is waiting for
us at the temple.” Abu nodded and they both relaxed, drinking
from the pond and eating their salted pork. It wasn’t much of a
feast but it was still something.
The pair mounted up again and were no more than 25 yards from
the Oasis when the sands ahead of them shifted and rose up. The
large lump grew higher and higher until the sands began giving
way to a shiny black surface, eroded but still apparently thick.
Abu and Arnolds eyes grew wide with amazement and then shock as
a scorpion emerged from the sands, its claws opening and closing
making a loud clacking sound.
“Well dear boy,” Arnold said, “It looks like the Professor will
have to just wait a tad bit longer before we can join him.”
Arnold produced a Webley from its holsters on his side, then
taking careful aim at the large black eye, still looking back
and forth to get the sand out of it, he squeezed the trigger and
a pop rang out. The bullet smashed into the eye and obviously
enraged the scorpion who now raised his massive tail and stinger
into the sky, its shadow cast down onto them.
“Well that seem to do wonders for us, White Man.” Abu was no
longer grinning but instead gave Arnold a flat look, and Arnold
knew the meaning of this.
“It was worth a shot, don’t look at me like that!” he replied to
the unspoken question of why.
To Be Continued...
#Post#: 975--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Disastrous Adventures of the Dashingly Daring Arnold P.
Bottom
By: Erwinfoxjj Date: February 20, 2013, 9:18 pm
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The scorpion eyed the pair briefly before determining they would
make a good midday lunch and lunged at Arnold. He dived from his
horse as the claw came crushing down, breaking the horses back
and crumpling it to the ground dead. Mandibles from the beast
clicked and clacked in hunger before falling another claw into
the horse.
“Well, he seems to be beating a dead horse.” said Arnold with a
cheesy smirk. Abu rolled his eyes, another White Mans idiom.
Arnold raised his pistol firing another two shots into the
deadly scorpion but the bullets shattered against the thick
black shell. Abu spurred his horse hard encircling the black
menace and the scorpion followed, spinning in place. Again two
shots rang out as Arnold watch, and again the bullets hit but to
no effect. Figuring the scorpion rather busied he ran to his
dead horse and searched for his rifle, amazingly it was still
intact. He pulled out the rifle, a long barreled elephant gun
firing .65 caliber steel bullets. This gun had saved Arnold
multiple times and now was not a time for it fail him. He loaded
one of the large cartridges into the breach and took careful aim
for the underside of the scorpion. As it circled and faced him
he squeezed the heavy trigger as Abu passed in front of him. Abu
ducked and turned back in his saddle to watch as a steel slug
travelled through the air smashing into the beasts softer
underbelly.
Shards of shell blasted from the underbelly and black blood
began flowing from the destructive wound. The scorpions
mandibles clicked and clacked harder in anger, its claws flailed
in the air and the stinger struck the ground randomly. When it
regained its composure Arnold had already loaded another
cartridge into his cannon and took aim at the eye. The beast
charged with great speed and was quite close to Arnold before he
fired, the boom knocked Arnold back on his read end. The bullet
smashed through one of the giant eyes and released even more of
the black bile. In vein the scorpion flung its claws in front of
its face and began large sweeping motions.
“By Gods good grace, Abu! I think I blinded it!” Arnold yelled
in excitement and fascination.
“That’s great Arnold, shoot it again!” Abu yelled. He too was
firing his lever action rifle, seeking soft spots where the legs
went into the shell and its underside.
Arnold loaded on more cartridge in and took aim at the beasts
other eye, timing the swings which were quite sporadic and
impossible to time. Finally he saw a breach in the defenses and
fired, this time being more steady and grounded he stood his
place and watched the steel fly through the desert air and
destroy the eye. With both eyes shot the beast had determined he
was finished and charged away from the pair. Its hissing sounded
like screams of a wounded ape, guttural and piercing. In the
distance Arnold saw a dot in the sky. It bounced and swerved,
unintentionally, as it swooped down towards the scorpion. As it
came closer Arnold could see the white dot was clearly one of
the new Aeroplanes that were revealed last year. From the front
of the triplane were flashes of fire. Arnold watched as sand was
kicked up in large tuffs and lead into the scorpion. The shell
splintered more and more until the black blood spewed forth in
great geysers.
After two passes the scorpion laid still in its pool of blood
which attracted a great many of the desert dwelling beasts,
snakes of varying sizes and spiders crawled out of the sand and
swarmed the meal. The plane then buzzed over the pair of men and
dipped its wings back and forth before jumping up and down in
the sky. With that the pilot ended his theatrics and flew away
from the pair. Arnold was able to see the pilot point over the
dune and give a thumbs up before losing sight. He couldn’t tell
who his savior was, as the pilots wore rather elaborate suits to
combat the trials and trivialities of flying. Arnold looked back
to Abu and waved his hand for him to come. Abu rode up with
Arnolds belongings stacked upon his saddle and smiled.
“It appears we are not far. Good work Abu.” Abu smiled and the
pair continued walking. They crested two more distant dunes
before reaching a third and below was a great sea of white tents
and new automobiles. The Union Jack flew high over the camp and
men were at work down below loading and unloading crates and
barrels. Limestone pillars and walls, crumbling or crumbled,
stood out of the sand and called to Arnold for a closer
examination. With great haste and energy he charged down the
hill and into the sea of white tents where he lost view of the
ruins. Abu followed closely on his horse and was greeted with
looks of curiosity and oddity from the white men who paused at
their work to study the black man who travelled on horseback
while his better walked on foot. Abu was used to this and
greeted them all with a smile and polite head nod.
To Be Continued...
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