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#Post#: 259--------------------------------------------------
The story, the legend, the tale of Streetlamp Le'Moose. Part one
DIR By: jebytc
Date: October 25, 2017, 10:21 am
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Streetlamp Le Moose - classy motherfucker. He turns 5, starts
going to Preschool - the fisrt day, his teacher is doing roll
call and gets to his name. She looks up, creases her brow and
reads again, sure that she made a mistake. 'Streetlamp?' She
says. Her brow still furrowed, looking around at the collection
of eager kids cross-legged at her feet.
Enter, Mr Streetlamp, is he wearing a Sesame Street shirt? No.
He's wearing a shirt, tie too - he looks at the teacher and says
'Yes Miss?' - classy. The whole class is looking at him now,
admiring his fashion sense, his awesome name, his doubley good
name. The rest of them - their name is only good for a girl or a
boy, but for both - this kid surely must be a God.
'Oh my, Mr Streetlamp,' the teacher will say, 'you sure have a
unique name.'
'I'm a unique guy,' he'll reply. Turning to the cutie decked out
in her floral dress next to him and shooting her a wink.
Fade to black.
Third grade, Streetlamp starts making ripples through his
Primary School. People have a problem? Streetlamp will sort
them. Lost a ball? Streetlamp has got your back. Skip rope gone
missing? Streetlamp got you.
He's earning the admiration and respect of those in the years
above him, and soon enough, he's becoming this local legend -
Streetlamp, the man that gets things done. His unique, amazing
name has pushed him to be a unique, amazing gentleman - kind
hearted - check, brave - check, athletic - check, intelligent -
you betcha.
His reputation precedes him, the kids graduating that year are
going to go to their middle schools, and the legend of
Streetlamp Le Moose will spread further. The kid that's
unstoppable. The classy motherfucker that does what's right, and
does it well.
Seventh Grade - Time to start middle school. Hormones start to
kick in. By now, there are some overdeveloped dickish guys
teasing him. You know what Streetlamp does? He doesn't fight
back, he doesn't wage warfare against them, he just grins. Every
night he runs, every night he works out - his muscles are
starting to develop - his facial structure, impeccable. He's
beautiful.
The bullies aren't caring though - they're just continuously
ripping into him, day after day. So what do you do when you're
pushed, repeatedly, Snap? Not Streetlamp. Streetlamp waits until
they're seperated from one another, approaching and befriending
each one on their own. Gets to know them, finds out that the
bigger one - George, he's secretly in love with this girl, and
been trying to rip on Streetlamp because he's a baller and the
girls love him, trying to prove that he's more attractive by
bullying him.
So Streetlamp, the good guy that he is, goes and approaches the
girl, starts talking George up, telling her what a great guy he
is really. Soon enough, they're going on a date - the kind of
cheesy date that 7th graders go on, that trip to the movies
where they gingerly hold hands half way into the movie and she
blushes and his breath increases in pace, nerves racing, heart
pumping with such ferocity.
Fastforward, Streetlamp the Freshman (Fresh Man) - His rep has
spread through the HighSchool already. You remember that cute
girl in the floral from Preschool? Yeah, she goes to the same
one. She's developed pretty well - looking beautiful. First day
of class, the teacher's doing roll call, she looks at the list,
furrows her brow - looking up. She lowers her head, reading
again. 'Streetlamp... Le Moose?' she says.
He looks up from the discussion he's having with one of the
buddies that he'd made through George - talking about cologne or
something like that - 'Yes Miss,' he says. He looks around,
catching the eye of floral girl - winking at her once again.
She giggles - blushing.
They start dating a few weeks later, her names Abigail, it's a
good relationship - he treats her well, not needy - not clingy,
but just enough attention for her to feel loved, for her to
spread the rumour that he's an amazing boyfriend, and an amazing
guy.
Junior Year, Streetlamp and Abigail have broken up - it was
mutual. It wasn't because there were problems in the
relationship, Floral girl just started thinking that they should
see other people, she didn't feel like she was good enough for
him. He always treated her so well, and she'd never dated a guy
before. It was feeling too serious, and she didn't want to get
serious so soon.
Streetlamp? He didn't mind, he made sure they remained friends -
they still eat lunch together most days, take the same classes
and talk a lot. He started playing football, Quarterback - Coach
is saying that his AP Calc and Physics classes are really
helping him with his arch, and his AP classes in Ancient history
have made him a master strategist.
Nobody quite knows how he does it - 8 AP classes in Junior year
while being the Quarterback of the #7 ranked team in the
country. He practices incessantly, studies even more. It should
take it's toll on his health, but it doesn't, he stays on top of
it all.
By now, the whole school knows who he is, and there's a non stop
stream of Sophmores and Juniors approaching him in the hallway
asking if he wants to come to this or that party. He's the
sweetheart of the school, and the sort of boy that every girl in
the school fantasises about. George? Linebacker on the team,
best buddies by now - him and the girl dated for a while but
it's well and truly over now.
Enter Friday night; House party in the suburbs. Streetlamp rocks
up with buddies late, 10 or 11 at night. Everyone is well and
truly drunk. A huge cheer erupts when they walk in - he's handed
a beer as soon as he enters. He offers it to George - he doesn't
drink, his mind is his best instrument, he doesn't want to
damage it.
Senior's hanging by the staircase, she's wearing an olive
miniskirt and one of those ripped tees. Her hard body, tightly
encased. 'Hi Streetlamp,' she says.
'Well Hi There.'
'You want to come upstairs with me?'
Fade to black.
Senior year, Streetlamp and Abigail have drifted apart.
He's dating the tightbody. She's 18 months older, going to
college nearby. He thought there might be some issue due to her
being college, him senior year, but no such issue. He was a
local hero by now - the football team was speculated to be #1 in
the country this year with him as the QB - Schools all over the
country were scouting him.
People latched onto her to be friends by association, she
filters all the ones that aren't good people - she's good like
that. He's studying pretty hard, and training too - it's a big
year for him. He spends half his time at the college taking
classes, the other half is at the school, a few classes being
taken, but the majority spent devising new plays for the
Football team.
He's turned into a natural born leader.
He goes out to one of the girlfriends college parties. While
he's there, he gets introduced to this girl - Amber. Now, Amber
isn't what he's used to - the girls that surround him are the
typical preppy 'Forever 21' shoppig silicon clones of one
another. Amber though, she was witty, dry, ironic and twisted.
They become friends, no romantic inclinations. The girlfriend
gets worried. Streetlamp tells her not to, Streetlamp only has
loving enough for one girl - and that's her.
Few weeks later, Amber and Streetlamp are becoming pretty tight
- Amber reveals she's a lesbian. Streetlamp, being the classy
motherfucker/good guy that he is doesn't care. Instead, he puts
some feelers out and finds a few girls around her age that he
thinks she'll like.
He sets up a few blind dates. The first one, didn't go so well -
they didn't get along. The second, it seemed to go great, but
Amber wasn't a fan. She's getting pretty distant with him, he
asks her what's up - she reveals she actually is in love with
Tightbody.
Dilemma.
Streetlamp Le Moose, being deserving of the good guy name, sets
up the threesome. Amber gets to live out her desires, Tightbody
gets to experience the typical lesbian phase in College, and he
sits back.
The news of his sexual prowess spreads. Tightbody ends up
falling for Amber, and they start dating. Streetlamp Le Moose,
Angry? Nope. He's happy for them. He's proud.
Graduation. Valedictorian, #1 Football Team in the Country,
Accepted a Place at Stanford doing Pre-Law. He gives his speech
and talks about his life, how he's been empowered and how he's
lucky to have such a loving and caring family. How his dad is
his hero. He starts crying - he doesn't hide it. He keeps his
chin up and lets the tears roll down his face as he tells them
about all that his mother and father gave up for him, how they
taught him to be the person that he is today.
A lot of people are crying along with him.
After the ceremony, the principal shakes his hand, telling him
that it's the finest speech that he has ever heard.
He throws a party that night, he asks his mother and father to
stay home and celebrate with him. He's still not drinking, but
he lets everyone around him drink. Nobody gets too wasted out of
mutual respect for him.
The doorbell rings. One of his buddies starts to get up to
answer it.
'No, dude, relax! Have a good time,' Streetlamp says.
He opens the door and who's there; Floral.
His voice catches in his throat, he stammers for a second,
'H-hi,' he manages to spit out. He's never been tongue tied
around a girl before. She's got long auburn hair now, it goes
past her shoulders, and she's wearing a floral print dress.
'Nice dress, I haven't seen you in one like that since...' His
thought trailed.
'Since Preschool, I know.'
She smiled at him.
Second year of College, Starting QB of the Stanford Cardinal.
He's got a passing rating of 176.4 over the season. His coach
says that he's really become a leader in the team. A lot of the
pro teams are looking at him, he's being pressured into
declaring for the draft. It's a dilemma, Streetlamp loves
Football, but he also loves learning.
He's sharp witted in his Law classes; topping the yeargroup.
He's been asked by his professors to help TA'ing some of the
first year classes. They're pretty boring; he didn't really
enjoy them the first time around, but Streetlamp has never been
one to turn down an opportunity.
First day as a TA - Introduction to Corporate Law. He turns up
about 20 minutes early and takes a seat in the third row back.
He's always wanted to pull the cliched 'Talk to student, Make
comments about the Lecturer, Walk up and become lecturer' move.
He sits down next to a girl - cropped brunette hair spiked up at
the back, a biker jacket on.
'Well, you're a rare sight in a class like this,' he says,
turning to her.
She turns to him, grinning. 'Streetlamp?'
'Abigail? I hardly recognised you.'
She laughed, 'It's been an interesting year.'
'I can tell.'
A middle aged man walked in, heading down the stairs towards the
front of the stage.
'You're taking first year law?' She asked.
'Something like that.'
The man took the podium, scanning the students. 'Ah, Streetlamp,
just who I wanted to see. Get on up here,' he says - the
attention of the whole lecture theatre suddenly on him.
That year, him and Abigail get close again, friends - they talk
most nights. It turns out their dorms aren't that far away from
each other. Turns out that she'd gotten into pre-med at Harvard,
but dropped out during her first semester. She'd taken to goign
out every night, partying hard enough to make most college
students envious.
She'd changed. She was no longer a sweet girl, but she was an
amazing one. She never acted like an idiot around him, or sucked
up to him, or tried to be cute - she was just who she was.
As the year progressed, the football season wore on. They were
going undefeated in their division. Two other teams were
undefeated too though, it was uncertain whether or not they'd go
to the BCS. When they were selected, there was an uproar.
Everyone just presumed it was because of Streetlamp that they'd
gotten through.
That year, they win the BCS.
Third year, last year of Pre-Law.
Abigail and Streetlamp start dating. The Coach of the Cardinal's
didn't like it to begin with. There was a lot of conflict - he
thought that she was bad for him, that she was dangerous. The
cropped spikey hair and leather she always wore - even in the
dead of summer didn't help Streetlamp's case.
It was a Tuesday night that the sparks truly flew. Streetlamp
was sitting in Coach's office, a combination of Mahogany and Red
lush carpet (Coach had been given a raise after the BCS
championship).
'It isn't acceptable Streetlamp. I can't have my star athlete
going around dating somebody like that. It isn't just about you
anymore. It's about your career, it's about the public
perception, it's about our fans and the teams that are scouting
you - that want you. Is it really worth risking all of that for
-' he paused, a look of disgust on his face, 'her?'
'Quite frankly coach,' he said, staring him straight in the
eyes, 'I couldn't care less. I try to always do what's right,
and to always be honest, and that's what I'm going to do now.
Abigail is the girl that I care about, that I love, her
appearance be damned. She is the single most kind, caring,
intelligent and brilliant girl that I have ever met, and if you
were to ask me to give up either her or football. Well, I'd have
to have a long think about that.'
'Boy, I've been where you are before. I've cared for, god damn -
I've loved girls with more of me than I care to admit, but this
is your future. This is the rest of your life. She isn't the
type that you marry. She's the type that you fuck for a few
years, spend your fortune on and then leaves you for your best
buddy.' He inhaled, tearing up a little bit, 'I just don't want
to see you hurt by her Streetlamp.'
'I understand Coach, but you have to understand me. I've known
her for most of my life, I've trusted her with all that I am,
and she hasn't betrayed me. Sure, we have rough patches, we
drift apart sometimes, but we always come back. We. Always.
Come. Back. Football is one thing coach, but a life without the
girl that I love - that's something completely different.'
They sat in silence for a little while. Coach staring at his
desk and Streetlamp, at his lap.
Streetlamp's voice croaked as he started to speak again; 'If
you're asking me to choose between football and the love of my
life, you know the answer.'
That season, they went undefeated again with Streetlamp starting
every single game. His passing rating sat on 192.1 for the
season, and the speculation surrounding his decision at the end
of the year was making the news every single night.
A lot of the pro teams have been flying out their coaches to
talk to him. He's not sure. He's conflicted; ambivalent.
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