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#Post#: 2383--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: January 27, 2024, 5:18 am
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[right]60pts[/right]
Hellhound howler: Fixture analysis part 2
Earlier this week the Howler previewed the top 4 teams' fixtures
for the remainder of this season. Before our analysis gets out
of date the Howler wants to follow up by looking at other four
teams making up the top eight and see who has it all to do to
overcome the odds and who should be seen as the likely
contenders to upset the apple cart and break into the promotion
picture.
Again, for the analysis below we have rated each league fixture
in terms of difficult allowing for opponents league position and
whether the game is at home or away. The higher the number, the
more difficult the fixtures! Broadly, the lowest possible rating
(easiest fixtures is about 6, the highest possible rating is
about 40).
Kingfisher Dolphins
It looks like Kingfisher will need to make hay while the sun
shines. They could bag nine points out of nine over the next
three gameweeks with some kind fixtures on paper (Coventry HOME,
Sky Blues AWAY, United 1908 HOME) but then comes the reality
check of back to back AWAY games against Robbailie and Cockney
to finish the season. All in all this leads to a tough
[glow=red,2,300]fixture rating of 30.[/glow] That's the hardest
run in of the top 8.
AFC Coventry
The team directly above them have a challenging set of fixtures.
And Coventry face that team tonight! If Coventry can find a
result AWAY to Kingfisher then they are in prime position as
we've rated that as their toughest fixture. Even a draw would
likely be a good result. They do still have Golden Eagles HOME
and Helsinki HOME to come, but the relatively difficulty of
those fixtures is somewhat lower due to home advantage. Highland
HOME and Thamesworks AWAY are seen as the easier games. All in
all this leads to a reasonable [glow=red,2,300]fixture rating of
21.[/glow]
Nikara Dragons
Highland HOME, Thamesworks AWAY, Helsinki HOME, Cockney HOME,
Whirlwinds AWAY. For Nikara this one is a similar story to
Coventry. Their two hardest fixtures are at home which should
help. Their only two away fixtures see them take on two of the
weakest teams in the league. All in all this leads to a
fantastic [glow=red,2,300]fixture rating of 14.[/glow] Could
Nikara put together a late run?
United 1908
The team with the most to do in every sense. Furthest from the
promotion picture and now adjudged to have the worst fixtures.
Miracles are needed! They are on the road three times against
Cockney, Highland and Kingfisher all AWAY. Then when they do get
home its Golden Eagles and Robbailie at HOME. Some teams get all
the poor luck. All in all this leads to an atrocious
[glow=red,2,300]fixture rating of 29.[/glow]
Verdict:
1st Eagles
2nd Robbailie
3rd Helsinki
4th Cockney
5th AFC Coventry
Then Cockney to deny Coventry in the play offs!
Of course, a couple of unexpected results and this all changes!
#Post#: 2406--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: January 29, 2024, 11:36 am
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[right]80pts[/right]
Hellhound howler: Fan polling
The Hellhound Howler has been out and about polling the fans of
this great side to get their views on the past managers of this
great club.
Current manager: Steven Nettleship
Relatively new to the role and has overseen a boom or bust
season with a string of victories followed by a string of not
victories.
Interim caretaker: Dave Rosewell
Oversaw a regenerative period at the club with new signings and
improving form, but his caretakership was marred by the
mysterious disappearing of his finest young signings on the eve
of the current manager taking over
Prior manager: Olli Huttunen
Olli managed the club for a number of years without much success
but was well liked by fans prior to the club joining OFMC
Prior prior manager: Joulupukki
The jolliest manager the club has ever seen. He gave the fans
many a present. His back room staff were rather on the short
side though.
First question: What is your manager rating out of 10
Winner in this poll was Joulupukki with an impressive 7.6
rating, much loved by the fans. It was close between the others
with Huttunen polling 6.2, Rosewell 5.9 and Nettleship 5.7.
Second question: Which manager would you be least likely to
leave your kids with?
Oufff, tough reading for messers Rosewell and Nettleship who
came out with 38% and 36% of the vote each. Huttunen polled just
20% and Joulupukki an incredible 4%.
Third question: Who has the best beard?
This was a hard fought poll but it came as little surprise when
Joulupukki came out with 43%, seeing off Rosewell with 30%,
Nettleship with 25% and Huttunen who at most goes with the
stubbly looking languishing in last with 12%.
Fourth question: Who plays the best brand of football?
Finally something to write home about for Nettleship as he takes
this one with a whopping 51% of the vote. Huttunen came second
with 26%, Rosewell 15% and Joulupukki 8%.
Fifth and final question: Who is most likely to take the club to
glory?
A quite bizarre outcome to this one with Nettleship taking just
12%, Rosewell a paltry 14%, Huttunen 10% and Joulupukki 8% - an
almighty 56% responded 'None of the above'. Ouch. Well it sounds
like Helsinki fans are realists and optimism is not in the
Finnish psyche!
#Post#: 2410--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: January 30, 2024, 7:43 am
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[right]60pts[/right]
Hellhound howler: Transfer target
Statement of intent
The Helsinki Hellhounds have confirmed a statement of intent for
the close season as they look to pursue their number one
transfer target. It is understood that the club plans to pull
out all the stops for Kyusha Yakuza's Leda Cygnus. Whilst no
official bid has been prepared - and the club may not make one
until the season officially ends - it is understood that the
club is looking into options which might persuade Kyushu to part
with their number one midfielder.
If the unthinkable happens and the club manages to persude
Kyushu Yakuza to part with their star player it would be an
incredible coup for the Division Two side. The betting markets
though believe the deal to unlikely with odds of 5/6 that he
remains at Kyushu for the first game of next season.
What does the player offer?
He is considered to rank alongside the best midfielders in the
league, boasting strong passing skills as well as having an eye
for goal. Across 31 games this seasons he has contributed 76 key
passes resulting in 8 assists and made 61 shots resulting in 11
goals. Incredible stats.
How on earth do the club think they can get this done?
It is believed that the club are willing to offer multiple stars
to try and get a deal done with players such as Reece Evans,
Tanaka and DeDavis Roy all muted as options for the deal.
For now, both clubs remain unwilling to comment but it may be
only a matter of time before Kyushu issue the stock response of
"he's not for sale" to ward off potential bidders. Sadly for
them and their manager, those words don't always deter the
Helsinki manager!
#Post#: 2416--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: February 1, 2024, 5:54 am
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[right]80pts[/right]
Hellhound howler: Round up
Today's edition of the howler is a round up of everything going
on at the club this week.
Stadium expansion
The new main stand is nearing completion which is due to
increase the club's capacity from 40,000 to a 50,000 all seater
stadium. This will mark the next step in the club's aims to
become an elite team. In terms of next steps, the final touches
are expected in the next couple of days and then a test event
will be held early next week prior to full and final sign off on
the stadium by about the 11th of February. The club looks
forward to hosting at least one game in the freshly re-opened
grand stand.
Shephard on the beach
The tabloid press featured many photos and articles showing
midfield starlet Shephard on the beach in the Marbella and
Puerto Banus over the past few days catching some sunshine and
some well earned rest. The player is suspended for this
weekend's match following his third yellow card. When asked for
comment about the player's actions the club confirmed that "The
player asked for and received permission for a break this week
and the club hopes the player will come back fighting fit for
the crucial remaining games of the season." Its a tough life
being a footballer!
Time for some Honest(y)
Transfer speculation is mounting that Guam Honest will leave the
club at the end of the season. It is understood that Helsinki
are keen to promote younger players into the starting XI and
Honest may need to make way as a result given the minutes
requirements. There will be no shortage of interest in the
player given his strong performances in midfield and ability to
score goals too. Helsinki be hoping they can secure the right
type of player in exchange.
And finally...
The club's canteen has gone vegan for February. The club is
trying out a new eating regimen which is meat free and dairy
free. It remains to be seen how the players react and whether it
has an impact on results on the pitch. This reporter is off to
go grab some falafel with a spicy side salad.
#Post#: 2434--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: February 4, 2024, 4:37 am
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[right]80pts[/right]
Hellhound howler: Sunday morning sit down
It’s time for a Sunday morning sit down with the gaffer and to
see how he’s doing and what he’s up to today.
Q How are you today?
A I slept like a baby. I feel fully refreshed. I didn’t get my
head down until gone midnight as I needed to let the adrenaline
get out of my system from the game, but ultimately I always
sleep well after a victory.
Q What’s your plan this morning?
A The players are heading in for a light rub down and some
physio. But there isn’t any training today so I give myself the
morning off. I’ll head in after brunch by which time the
analysts will have footage from yesterday’s games to discuss -
both a de brief of our game and a review of our next opponents
Nikara.
Q Brunch sounds lovely. What’s on the menu?
A Today I’m going to have veggie sausages, a sweet potato mash
and avacado salad. Delicious.
Q Will you be doing anything else today?
A Absolutely. We’ve got a three hour planning meeting for pre
season with the Chairwoman where we’ll have a chat about what we
need to do in terms of the stadium, the playing staff and other
changes around the club. We’ll definitely be agreeing on
transfer targets and hopefully we’ll have some positive news on
that front before the final game of the season is upon us. The
early bird catches the first worm and all that.
Q I see you referred another manager to the league. What can we
expect from Dan T?
A He’s a high calibre manager. Expect someone who is active in
the market and looks to play some exciting football on the
field. They had a rough start yesterday bossing the game but
ultimately the differential in GK skills killed them.
#Post#: 2464--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: February 8, 2024, 12:21 pm
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[right]50pts[/right]
Hellhound howler: Update
It’s been an unusually quiet week over at Helsinki Hellhounds
this week. No news from the club for many days in a row is quite
unusual. Is there something going on?
Well firstly the club’s staff including the players had been
given a few days off to recuperate after their fine victory over
promotion rivals Cockney that has put Helsinki back in pole
position for promotion. So there hasn’t been a lot going on at
the training ground.
That victory could provide pivotal for two reasons:
1) it drew the club level with cockney on points
2) it widened the goals difference by six goals to a wide margin
of nine goals which could prove pivotal when all is said and
done
So you can see why there was a rest granted before the club does
battle once more this weekend.
What has the manager been up to? Well he sort of relaxed too,
only working 9 hour days rather than the usual 16 hours. It’s
understood that he spent some time on deals for the end of the
season with mixed success. And planning an amazing tactical
performance for this weekend.
So we can expect a relaxed refreshed team and manager this
coming weekend. Excellent.
#Post#: 2467--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: February 9, 2024, 2:44 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[right]80pts[/right]
Hellhound howler: [move]THREE GAMES TO GO!!![/move]
It's squeaky bum time in Division Two as the fixtures tick down
and the pressure ticks up a notch each week. Last weekend was a
dream for Helsinki, but where exactly does that leave them?
- Robbailie are five points clear and probably too far away with
nine points to play for
- Golden Eagles are three points ahead and have by far the best
goals difference which makes them difficult to overhaul
- Cockney sit on same points but are behind on goals difference
- Kingfisher are three points back and way behind on goals
difference
- Nikara are six points back and are in the conversation as they
play Helsinki this weekend
Worst case scenario?
Nikara take down Helsinki at home, while Cockney beat Robbailie
and Golden Eagles / Kingfisher pick up expected wins. That would
leave Helsinki 3 points behind Cockney and their own fate out of
their hands and Nikara would be breathing down their necks too.
Best case scenario
Helsinki win, Robbailie do the business and Helsinki sit in the
automatic promotion spaces by three points and with far superior
goals difference. One more win should be enough to see them
promoted.
Its funny just how much one weekend could shape the course of
the season but that's why we love football!!
Bookies
Where do the bookmakers have their odds at the moment?
Title odds
Golden Eagles 4/6
Robbailie 7/4
Helsinki 3/1
Cockney 5/1
Bar 10/1
Eagles come out as favourites despite having ground to make up.
Remember they host Robbailie in the final week in what could be
a title decider.
Automatic promotion odds
Robbailie 1/10
Golden Eagles 2/5
Helsinki 4/6
Cockney 2/1
Nikara 7/1
Kingfisher 8/1
Bar 25/1
The top two look nailed on for promotion but both will want to
ensure it is secured before the final game against each other!
Helsinki look marginal favouries over Cockney.
Play off odds
Cockney 30/100
Helsinki 6/4
Kingfisher 6/4
Nikara 6/4
AFC Coventry 2/1
Wide open. Cockney look likely to miss out on automatic
promotion but look safe bets to keep a play off place. Those
odds will change if they upset the league leaders though.
Coventry cannot be discounted yet
Game on in week 20! Good luck to all the teams involved.
#Post#: 2504--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: February 18, 2024, 5:31 am
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[right]50pts[/right]
Hellhound howler: Permutations
Well here we go. Everything is clear. The clubs know what they
need to do themselves and what they need from others as the
final league games of the season approach.
Can Helsinki win the title?
Theoretically yes, but realistically no. Its a 100 - 1 shot to
win, see Eagles lose at home (they've only lost 2 all season
long) and then over turn a 12 goal deficit. But Helsinki have
scored an impressive 62 league goals this season.
What do Helsinki need to secure automatic promotion?
Helsinki sit in prime position in 2nd, ahead of both Robbaillie
and Cockney who made the running in the first half of the
season. Helsinki have 40 points, Robbailie have 39 points and
Cockney have 38 points. It is worth noting that Helsinki have a
10 goal advantage over Cockeny and 13 goal advantage over
Robbailie.
Helsinki win - they will be second (at least) and promoted
Helsinki draw - Cockney would need to win by 11 goals due to
Helsinki's goals scored. Robbailie could overtake with a win and
take second.
Helsinki lose - Cockney would over take Helsinki with a win.
Robbailie would only go above with an unlikely victory at the
Eagles!
Bookmakers view
Title - they've already starting paying out on Eagles' title
Automatic promotion
Helsinki 1/33
Cockney 4/6
Robbailie 7/5
Robbailie would however be favourties to overcome Kingfisher in
the play off final though.
#Post#: 2506--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: February 19, 2024, 2:15 am
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[right]50pts[/right]
Hellhound howler: Final fixture odds
The excitement is palpable. The media teams are in over drive
this week as the final round of fixtures is almost upon us! Just
days are left to wait to find out who is promoted, who is
relegated and who has a play off winner takes all match to play.
Fun fact: The top six are all playing each other in this final
round! (as are the bottom six!)
Cockney vs Kingfisher - this game could be a prelude to the play
off final. Kingfisher are already confirmed but Cockney know
that a victory may mean they can avoid it. Despite their
proximity in the league, Cockney are favourites for this one.
Cockney win 1/2
Draw 2/1
Kingfisher win 3/1
AFC Coventry vs Helsinki - Away matches can always be tough and
AFC Coventry are more than capable of an upset. The bookies have
it pretty even but make Helsinki slight favourites. Given the
goal fests of other weeks it is unlikely to end in a draw so say
the bookmakers.
Coventry 6/5
Draw 3/1
Helsinki 5/6
Golden Eagles vs Robbailie - Robbailie are probably the most
nervous of all the teams. They made the running all season and
one defeat here could undo it all and leave them with a tricky
play off tie to navigate. Eagles are favourites, no surprises
there.
Eagles 4/6
Draw 17/10
Robbailie 2/1
So what odds of Helsinki missing out on automatic promotion?
Cockney win 1/2 & Coventry 6/5 & Robbailie 2/1 gives a shade
under 9 /1 or about an 89% chance of taking an automatic
promotion spot come Saturday evening! (maths not checked!)
#Post#: 2520--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: February 22, 2024, 5:45 am
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[right]50pts[/right]
Hellhound howler: Hellish plan hatched
The hours are ticking down to the league finale this weekend and
the Hellhound hell-makers in the back room have been busy
hatching a hellish plan to overhaul Golden Eagles and take the
league title.
Step 1: Bribe Willz to drop their GK and play their third choice
keeper
Weakening the goalie will surely enable Helsinki to score a high
proportion of their shots
Step 2: Feign injury and pretend the opposition kicked us to get
a man sent off
What is easier than to play against 10 men, preferably getting a
defender sent off would help too
Step 3: Slip the opposition side something
Nothing too dangerous, just something to put them 5% off their
game and maybe relax them a bit. Either that or some laxatives
would do the trick
Step 4: All out attack
Wave after wave of attack, aim to dominate everything, have 80%
of the ball and 90% of the shots!
Step 5: Pray to higher powers
It could work??!?
When asked about the need for the Eagles to lose their game in
order for any of this to count the Hellhound hell-makers back
room team swore, realised they made a huge error and went back
to the drawing board.
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