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#Post#: 2257--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: January 10, 2024, 2:30 am
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[right]50 pts[/right]
Hellhound howlers: The curious case of Laszlo Kiss
Just what is going on with the league's highest rated forward?
He has 18 goals to his name, he has 18 shooting as his skill and
he knows how to find the back of the net. So just why have
things dried up since his move to Helsinki?
How has he been doing?
Week 10 league - 7 shots, 1 goal (16 rated) - on debut
EA knockout - 3 shots, 0 goals (16 rated)
Week 11 league - 6 shots, 1 goal (17 rated)
Week 12 league - 4 shots, 0 goals (18 rated)
League cup first leg - 8 shots, 1 goal (18 rated)
Week 13 - missed the game [the team scored 9 goals from 35 shots
with one 13 rated shooter and two 12 rated shooters ???]
League cup second leg - 2 shots, 0 goals (18 rated)
Week 14 - 1 shot, 1 goal (18 rated)
EA knockout - 2 shots, 0 goals (18 rated)
Week 15 - 4 shots, 0 goals (18 rated)
Helsinki totals:
- 37 shots, 4 goals
- Conversion rate of just under 11%
- 4.1 shots per game
- 0.44 goals per game (although it is noted he didn't play the
full game in some instances)
Prior to joining the club:
- 60 shots, 14 goals
- Conversion rate of over 23%
- 3.75 shots per game
- 0.88 goals per game
So Kiss' form has declined rapidly since he joined the club. He
performed far better as a 16 and 17 rated striker too.
Why, why, why?
Who knows. It is understood the player is happy at the club and
not angling for a move. It may be the case that the captaincy
has created additional pressure for the player and he's
distracted from his true calling in life - poaching goals. It is
understood that he has parted ways with his long term girlfriend
too, perhaps this has unsettled him.
For now the Hellhound fans hope he can re-discover his form
ahead of the crucial clash against Golden Eagles at the weekend.
#Post#: 2286--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: January 13, 2024, 2:41 pm
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[right]50 pts[/right]
Hellhound howler: Shy genius!
New (re) signing
The club recently spent a small fortune to re-sign enigmatic
young midfielder Shynkarenko, bringing the precocious talent
back to the club.
What did it cost
An arm and a leg! The arm was young midfielder Prittwick who had
been performing exceptionally at the club. The leg was attacking
midfielder Guncalves who had had a similarly explosive start to
his time at the Hellhounds.
Why did the club break the bank?
Shynkarenko is quite simply a genius. After recent training and
testing, his quality is almost unparalleled in the league. He is
a quite superb player. And his testing scores show he has an IQ
of 147! That’s high for the general population… let alone for a
footballer.
Shynkarenko will compliment fellow young midfielders Shephard
and Tanka in a youthful Hellhound midfield.
#Post#: 2293--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: January 14, 2024, 6:15 am
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[right]80 pts[/right]
Hellhound howler: Supports group seal of approval
Ratings off the chart!
The Hellhound's supporters group released their latest ratings
for the club recently and it made for fantastic reading for all
involved. All ratings have been steadily increasing since the
new management team took charge and it appears everything has
left the fans happy with the club's progress.
Ratings
Manager approval rating - on joining the club the new manager
had an approval rating of 52% compared to the previous caretaker
manager Dave "Golden boy" Rosewell who was being rated as high
as 67%. Following two months of his reign, the new manager's
rating has increased to an incredible 80%! That despite of
recent mediocre form.
When asked whether the manager will lead them to promotion this
season the fans rated as follows:
- Definitely 45%
- Highly likely 30%
- Likely 15%
- Unlikely 10% [it seems that you can't please everyone!]
When asked about the brand of football, the club's fans were
particularly impressed:
- Highly entertaining - 58%
- Entertaining - 27%
- Neutral 9%
- Boring 6% [clearly some are coming just for the clean sheets
and leaving disappointed!]
The stats from the weekend's games back some of this up.
Helsinki were one of only two clubs in the division to start
with 3 at the back (the rest played 4 at the back), which
naturally leads to more attacking football and entertainment for
the fans. And the club believes that its the fans which truly
matter.
Final poll was favourite player poll which showed an incredible
spread. Perhaps surprisingly it was 8 goal and 8 assist defender
Evans who came out on top.
Reece Evans - 20%
Shephard - 19%
Laszlo Kiss - 16%
DeDavis Roy 12%
Hikkara 10%
Guam Honest 9%
#Post#: 2306--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: January 15, 2024, 11:10 am
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[right]80pts[/right]
Hellhound howler: Transfer terminated!
What was the deal?
Some deals take 5 minutes, whilst others take what feels like
hours of negotiations. Once of the 5 minute deals was struck by
Helsinki and Robbailie earlier in the week with the clubs
agreeing a nominal fee of 10 million for young midfielder Lule
Patrobe.
Why so little you ask? Well, with just 5 games left of the
season the player is yet to play a single minute of football.
Rumours have it that the manager didn't even know his name! And
didn't realise he was even a part of the squad. So in a few
weeks time it is inevitable that the player leaves for free
having not made their minutes.
With Helsinki realising they were 3 injury and / or suspensions
away from a fine, they moved to plug a gap. 10 million was the
price they were willing to pay as any suspension or injury would
put pay to trying to make any minutes allowance and would see
that 10 million down the drain.
Both clubs were happy... at least for a short while.
Why was the deal quashed?
News has spread this afternoon that the deal will be quashed
with the league superemo confirming it doesn't comply with the
Rules. Clause 8.3 subsection d paragraph 4, sentence 3* states
that players shall not be transferred for less than their ATM
price.
*for the avoidance of doubt this is a purely fictional reference
just for fun, please don't try to look it up
What is the ATM price?
The ATM price is governed by a complex financial formula. For
the player in question who is 18 years old and 12 rated with
double 10 secondaries it leads to a value of: (36M for main
skill + 2M for secondaries)/2 + 3M (age) - 2.7M (minutes) =
19.3M
What next?
It is understood that both clubs are considering their positions
as Helsinki's problem still remains, they need another body in
the squad and Robbailie stand to lose out.
The manager commented as he left the training ground:
"Patrobe would solve a problem for us and I like the young lad's
potential as a squad member. It would be painful to spend almost
20M and lose him for nothing at end of season. So if we go for
him, we have to accept playing him at the expense of a higher
skilled player. That may just be a necessary evil on this
occasion. If we sign him for about 20M, we gotta make sure we
keep him and play him for the remaining five games."
In the mean time the club is thankful to have a fully fit and
available squad to choose from, but notes that time is limited
to plug any gaps.
[glow=red,2,300]BREAKING NEWS[/glow]
After intense negotiations between the Helsinki heirachy and HQ,
a fee of 20 million has been agreed and the player will now be
allowed to fulfill his dream of playing for a team in 4th place
in the division. Correction, the player will be able to fulfill
his dream of actually playing some football rather than sitting
at home on a Saturday evening. The player will make his debut
during this weekend's match against Highland.
#Post#: 2319--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: January 17, 2024, 4:06 am
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[right]80pts[/right]
[glow=red,2,300]Hellhound howler: Round up![/glow]
Manager vows to end Oligopoly!!
In recent discussions it has come out that the "big 4" in OFMC
have been dominating the league since it's inception in 2022.
Kyushu Yakuza were the inaugural champions, followed by Sarnians
last season and it looks likely that Rael Nerrad will take the
crown this coming season. Sarnians took the cup in season 1, and
Manchester United narrowly missed a double when the Acorns
produced a cup upset in season 2. But United did get their hands
on the league cup that season. Based on league records I can't
check if Nerrad or Artic picked up the league cup in season 1!
Regardless, the results are clear Nerrad, United, Yakuza and
Sarnians are THE clubs to beat in this league and to date have
formed an oligopoly. The Hellhounds manager has stated he has a
two to three season plan to get amongst the big guns and ensure
that the oligopoly does not last too much longer. There is no
doubt that other managers will want to do that too with the
likes of Golden Eagles looking best placed to challenge the big
four in future seasons.
Transfer deadline looms after recent activity
After a recent lull the club has moved to reshape the squad in
the past week or so following the chaos that was the six days of
Christmas which materially impacted the squad in a positive way,
but left the squad a touch unbalanced.
Going in reverse chronological order, the club moved to bring in
young defender Belisarius 2from Puskas with mutli skilled Hont
going in the opposite direction. Having sold high quality
midfielder Mason Paint for north of 100M, the club moved to
shore up the depth of the squad by bringing in unloved Patrobe
in midfielder. Patrobe has yet to make his senior debut and will
be thrust into action this coming weekend. He needs to play
every minute for the remainder of the season or risks being lost
for free and the 20M fee being money down the drain come end of
season. And finally, the club also moved to get Shynkarenko back
from Cockney in exchange for Prittwick and Guncalves.
Shynkarneko is seen as a future star of the game and the club
moved heaven and earth to get him in.
So with just over a week to the transfer window closing, the
club needs to decide whether it has enough to get over the line
in the promotion push. In terms of squad depth the club has:
- 3 goalkeepers, so no issues there
- 6 defenders, albeit three of those are junior prospects
- 8 midfielders, albeit three of those are junior prospects
- 2 forwards
- 19 players in total, that leaves scope for just three injuries
or suspensions, any more and the club risks a potential fine or
forfeiting a game.
If there is any prospect of making a move then the smart money
would be on a recognised starting defender or a back up forward.
Versatility within the squad does mean that they have potential
cover from attacking midfielders up front.
The manager added: "We have a fantastic young squad that is
growing together. We know there are some challenges for a few in
the squad with minutes - more to follow later in the week on
that - but we think those barriers are not insurmountable. We
are on the look out to maybe add another one before the window
closes, but it has to be the right player and personality for
the longer term."
#Post#: 2330--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: January 19, 2024, 6:01 am
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[right]80pts[/right]
Hellhound howler: Miss Minutes update!
In this edition of the Hellhound howler, Miss Minutes provides
an update on the club's progress with ensuring that all players
make their minutes target for the season. As a reminder, Miss
Minutes left the Time Variance Authority under a cloud and was
given a second chance by the club as part of the club's back
room team. So lets look at how she is getting along...
The good
Goalkeeping department is all sorted, 100%. Hikkara the number
one made his minutes weeks ago and back up players Munch and
Polanski have no targets to meet, so all is good with the
goalies. 3 out of 3
In defence, star defender Reece Evans has just hit his target as
has junior prospect Dyachenko. Hurrah! Young 16 year Moisander
had no target to make thanks to the terms of his signing and
Jovic was signed only needing half of his minutes which have
been made. That leaves 4 out of 6 resolved.
In midfield, Tanaka, Shephard and DeDavis have all just reached
their minutes targets. Shephard in fact is now around 150
minutes past his target. Well done to him. That leaves 3 out of
8 resolved. Plenty of work to be done.
Finally we look at the forward line. Its a perfect record up
top. Kiss had the most challenging target within the squad but
has already exceeded the 2,389 minute target. Harrisjones was
scouted and due to his lowly skills he had an easily achievable
target which was surpassed long ago. 2 out of 2.
Overall that leaves 12 out of 19 already secure for next season.
The bad
So whilst there is plenty of good news, there is a number of
players who are not quite over the line just yet...
Craig Cluster - the player who almost left the league at
Christmas, has managed to be boosted and is now within 50
minutes of making his minutes.
Guam Honest has been a permanent fixture in midfield and is 138
minutes from hitting his minutes target. Danny Arnold has played
plenty of minutes off the bench and is just 40 minutes from
target. Finally Khazri is 134 minutes from target after last
weeks game where he played over 60 minutes. Finally Shynkarenko
is just 57 minutes from safety so should be fine after this
weekend.
So that's another 5 within touching distance, taking the total
to 17 out of 19.
The ugly
These ones have the potential to get ugly!
Belisarius has just joined the club and has some way to go. 264
minutes remain which should be fine... but one injury and there
is jeopardy!
Patrobe was a controversial signing. Initially the fee was too
low and was increased, but that leaves a player on 0 minutes and
needing 540 more in just 6 games to make his minutes. Expect a
starting spot for the rest of the season.
Realistically two players are very much at risk and need to
avoid serious injury or they will be waved goodbye to at the end
of the season for nothing. Honest is next closest on 138 minutes
which hopefully won't be too problematic. But there still
remains the possibility that all players make their minutes.
Currently we rate Ms Minutes' work at 8 out of 10.
#Post#: 2339--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: January 20, 2024, 12:29 pm
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[right]80pts[/right]
Hellhound howler: Secrets edition :-X
The weekend edition of the howler has sought to uncover some
never before told secrets about those at the club. Let's crack
straight on with this sensational edition.
Secret one: The manager has a favourite
It is understood that the manager has a favourite and this is
well known within the squad. It isn't who you might think. Star
striker Kiss, nope. Young starlet Shephard in midfield, no. Top
defender and creater and scorer of goals Evans, nope. Not. Even.
Close. The manager's favourite is in fact Harrisjones, the 17
year old forward. Why you ask? Well he brings him a latte and a
bacon sarnie every day before training. Sometimes its the simple
things in life. Apparently Harrisjones even gets preferential
treatment in training as a result.
Secret two: Dyachenko has a special talent
At the club's Christmas party the team had a talent show just
for fun. Whilst some faltered and embarassed themselves (do not
ask about DeDavis Roy's rediction of Wannabe by the Spice
Girls), Dyachenko stunned the room banging out classics from
Mozart in a modern day jazzy style on the piano. It was quite
something to behold.
Secret three: Ghosts have been exorcised
No metaphors here. After some issues around the ground and
unexplained events, the club brought in a priest to exorcise a
ghost that was believed to be haunting the stadium and had been
spotted around the goal posts at twlight. It seems to have
worked given the clubs significant up tick in form at home since
this was done in October last year.
Secret four: Uno addiction!
Three of club's players have been treated for an Uno addiction
after it ran through the club as the game of choice in the club
room and on coach trips to away matches. It got so out of hand
that players were staying up late into the night to get their
fix and at one point an argument over a +2 played on a +2
resulted in a fight between Hont and Honest. We can't say who
won that fight but it highlights the level of feeling about the
game.
Well. Quite the revelations. Who knew. Makes you question
exactly what is going on at the club!!
#Post#: 2356--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: January 23, 2024, 2:30 am
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[right]80pts[/right]
Hellhound howler: Tight at the top!
Today's edition of the howler looks at the tantalising prospect
of the Division Two race for the title and promotion in what is
shaping up to be a classic finish to an enthralling season.
Pole position: Robbailie Escocia. Sitting pretty in 1st place on
35 points. They've been there or thereabouts all season long and
after briefly falling off top spot they've done what champions
do and climbed straight back there.
The close followers:
2nd: Golden Eagles FC. Just two points behind with 33 points on
the board but a handsome goal difference which could prove vital
come the end of the season. This team has grown throughout the
season and is largely agreed to be the strongest in the division
with depth and high quality players throughout the match day
squad.
3rd: Cockney Cockrells. Arguably this club has been punching
slightly above its weight and consistently doing that all season
long. They have been around the top three for pretty much the
whole season and it would be foolhardy to bet against them being
there in five games' time.
The bridesmaids - those in the play off spots:
4th: Helsinki Hellhounds find themselves on 30 points, just one
win away from those in 2nd and 3rd and still very much in the
hunt. They've got some issues with minutes for lower skilled
players needing to be fulfilled which may yet prove to be a
headwind for the club during the run in. But on their day when
they get it right they are practically unbeatable. Its the off
days that are the current problem!
5th: Kingfisher Dolphins on 28 points. 5 points behind the
automatic spots, they'd need some stellar form to make it. They
have three winnable games coming up and finish against Cockney -
could it be all to play for in the final week of the season??
The dreamers:
6th AFC Coventry are on 26 points, 2 off the play offs and 7 off
automatic. Automatic is probably unrealistic unless they take at
least 4 wins, but overhauling one team above them is a
possibility and that could start with Kingfisher in this
weekend's games. A win takes them into the play off spots.
Simple. A loss though could leave them adrift.
7th Nikara Dragons are on 22 points. They're going to need some
top form and possibly some good luck if they are to sneak up the
league and find a play off spot and will be hoping to get three
points at home this weekend to help with that goal.
8th United 1908 will have to go some at 8 points back, but
nothing is impossible and if they string a couple of wins
together they could get in the frame - their next two games are
against two of the top three though...
So much to play for for many clubs. Will a dark horse emerge
with some scintillating form and scythe their way through the
table? We cannot wait to see...
#Post#: 2364--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: January 24, 2024, 2:36 am
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[right]80pts[/right]
Hellhound howler: Fixture analysis part 1
As a follow up to yesterday's analysis of the top 8, we've
extended the analysis a bit further to look at the relatively
difficulty of each club's fixtures between now and the end of
the season. Today we start by looking at the top three. For the
analysis below we have rated each league fixture in terms of
difficult allowing for opponents league position and whether the
game is at home or away. The higher the number, the more
difficult the fixtures! Broadly, the lowest possible rating
(easiest fixtures is about 6, the highest possible rating is
about 40).
Robbailie Escocia
A real mixed bag for the league leaders. They have three
fixtures against three teams further down in the division which
are winnable (Sky Blues H; United 1908 A; Kingfisher Dolphins
H). Win all those three and they are almost certainly promoted.
But they also face 3rd placed Cockney AWAY and in their final
game 2nd placed Golden Eagles AWAY. All in all this leads to a
tough [glow=red,2,300]fixture rating of 29[/glow].
Golden Eagles
Similarly to Robbailie, the Eagles have three pretty winnable
fixtures on paper with games against bottom club Eastern
Whirlwind AWAY, Sky Blues HOME and United 1908 AWAY. Win those
and again, promotion looks pretty likely. The tougher two games
they have are arguably AFC Coventry AWAY in week 19 and of
course Robbailie at HOME in week 22 - what a finish to the
season that could be! Overall, the analysis gives them the edge
over Robbailie and leads to a reasonable [glow=red,2,300]fixture
rating of 20[/glow].
Cockney Cockrells
Cockney are sitting between the other two in terms of fixture
difficult ratings. Again, they have some winnable games against
United 1908 HOME, Nikara AWAY and Kingfisher at HOME. Remarkably
they also have two clearly tougher fixtures (much like the other
two teams) against Helsinki AWAY in week 19 and Robbailie in
week 20. Overall this boils down to a [glow=red,2,300]fixture
rating of 26[/glow].
Helsinki Hellhounds
Well this made for delightful reading when we went through the
numbers and found the lowest rating of the top 4 sides. Fixtures
against Thames Ironworks HOME and Eastern Whirlwinds HOME look
very winnable on paper, and even the more difficult fixtures are
relatively favourable with AFC Coventry AWAY and Cockney
Cockrells HOME to come looking to be the two trickiest. Overall
this leads to a [glow=red,2,300]fixture rating of just
19[/glow].
So there we have the first set of fixture analysis. Make of it
what you will. Cockney may well feel the most alarmed with
Helsinki on paper at least having the better run in. No doubt
that week 19 between those clubs will be absolutely crucial.
#Post#: 2372--------------------------------------------------
Re: Hellhound howler: Round up!
By: Steve N Date: January 25, 2024, 11:21 am
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[right]80pts[/right]
[glow=red,2,300]Hellhound howler: Transfer deadline
day!!![/glow]
[move]Transfer deadline: 29 hours to go![/move]
The clock is ticking down and clubs have just over a day left to
make a move in the transfer market before it slams shut and you
have to make do with what you've got between now and the end of
the season! There isn't much time left to make any late moves
but let's have a look at the rumours circulating the league...
Helsinki quiet
Helsinki have one of the smallest squads and it was thought
possible they'd look to add one more face but so far it seems
quiet, likely because the club have a number of players still
yet to hit their minutes.
Rael Nerrad
Rumoured to be interested in bringing in a midfielder with 15+
passing who has made their minutes in order to give the squad
depth for the title run in.
Golden Eagles
They are apparently considering offloading 6th choice defender
Marashko if they can get a good deal for the player.
Nikara Dragons
One of the most active in the market this past week. They look
to be making moves for young defenders and midfielders
currently. However, the player needs to fit the club's profile
for young up and coming talent so depends if such players are
available on the market.
Acorn Academicals
Meanwhile, over at Acorn they have rebuffed approaches for their
star goalkeeper Fraser Digby. The keeper is keen on a move away
but the club are holding firm and don't expect a deal to be
done.
For now the transfer confirmations section remains quiet, but
maybe expect one or two surprises come tomorrow.
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