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       #Post#: 12--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Welcome to our forum
       By: clare low Date: March 22, 2017, 6:01 am
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       What a very sad story - I am so sorry to hear what you have been
       through. It sounds like what ever you do will feel complicated
       and painful. You might find some helpful ideas on our website.
       It is important for you to look after yourself and your family
       above all. It also sounds as though you have made a great
       success of your life with your own family and your career so you
       have overcome a lot of difficulties already.
       #Post#: 13--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Welcome to our forum
       By: Mitchell Date: March 22, 2017, 6:22 am
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       ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
       Yep Merionvw
       sounds very similar to my story all the arguments. You did right
       taking yourself away from a very toxic situation. Do not feel
       guilty one probably has BPD the other may have taken the easy
       path and been an enabler or both could have been personality
       disordered. As for making contact again remember to set good
       boundaries and do not get involved in any arguments. The person
       with BPD is responsible for his or her own actions and
       behaviors. The 3 C's are: I didn't cause it. I can't cure it. I
       can't control it.
       A good book to read is "Stop Walking On Eggshells" and also
       "Understanding The Borderline Mother" both are excellent books
       on BPD
       What ever you do I wish you luck
       Take care
       Mitch
       #Post#: 14--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Welcome to our forum
       By: Annie Date: March 22, 2017, 7:33 am
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       Another extremely good book to read is Difficult Mothers by Dr
       Terri Apter. I found it life changing as i learnt that the only
       person I could hope to change was myself..... I would never
       change my mother and it was hopeless to go on hoping for
       improvement. As a result I stopped going into child mode when
       with her and started behaving like the adult i was able to say
       no, able to stand up for myself and able to protect myself.
       #Post#: 15--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Welcome to our forum
       By: Mitchell Date: March 23, 2017, 8:33 am
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       :o ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
       
       I think this poem fits:-
       by Charles C. Finn, As read by Roscoe on WBAI, April 1967
       Please don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I
       wear, for I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks, masks that I'm
       afraid to take off and none of them are me. Pretending is an art
       that is second nature to me, but don't be fooled, for God's sake
       don't be fooled.I give you the impression I'm secure and that
       all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without,
       that confidence is my name, coolness my game, that water is calm
       and I'm in command and that I need no one, but don't believe me,
       please don't believe me My surface may be smooth, but my surface
       is a mask--my every varying and ever concealing mask. Beneath it
       dwells the real confusion, fear and aloneness. Beneath lies my
       smugness, my complacently, but I hide this--I don't want anyone
       to know it I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being
       exposed. That's why I frantically created a mask to hide
       behind-- nonchalant sophisticated facades to help me pretend--
       to shield me from the glance that knows-- but such a glance is
       precisely my salvation, my only salvation and I know it. That is
       if it's followed by acceptance. If it's followed by love, it's
       the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own
       self built prison walls and from the barriers that I so
       painstakingly erect. It's the only thing that will assure me of
       what I cannot assure myself, that I'm really worth while, but I
       don't tell you this, I don't dare--I'm afraid to. I'm afraid
       that your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love.
       I'm afraid you'll think less of me and you'll laugh and your
       laugh will kill me. I'm afraid that deep down, I'm nothing and
       that I'm just no good and that you'll see this and reject me. So
       I play my game; my desperate pretending; with the facade of
       assurance without and a trembling child within. And so begins
       the parade of masks, the glittering, but empty parade of masks
       and my life becomes a front. I idle chatter to you in suave
       tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that's really
       nothing and nothing of what's everything and what's crying
       within me. So when I'm through going through my routine, do not
       be fooled by what I'm saying. Please listen carefully and try to
       hear what I'm not saying--what I'd like to be able to say, but
       for survival I need to say, but what I can't say. I dislike
       hiding, honestly, I dislike the superficial game I'm playing,
       the superficial phony game. I'd really like to be genuine,
       spontaneous and me, but you've got to help me, you've got to
       hold out your hand, even when it's the last thing I seem to want
       or need. You can help wipe away from my eyes--the blank stare of
       grieving dead. You can help call me into aliveness each time
       you're kind, gentle and encouraging. Each time you try to
       understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow
       wings, very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings. If you
       choose to, please choose to. You can help break down the wall
       behind which I tremble. You can encourage me to remove my mask.
       You can help release me from my shadowed world of panic and
       uncertainty. From my lonely prison. So do not pass me by--
       please don't pass me by. It will not be easy for you. A lone
       conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. The nearer you
       approach me, the blinder I may strike back. It's irrational, but
       despite what books say about man, I am irrational, I fight
       against the very things that I cry out for, but I am told love
       is stronger than strong walls. In this lies my hope, my only
       hope, please help beat down those walls with firm hands, but
       with gentle hands--for a child is very sensitive. Who am I, you
       may wonder? I am someone you know very well. For I am every man
       you meet and I am every women you meet.
       I believe the disordered persons self esteem is low that they
       build a mask unknown to their core self & with them normal rules
       don't apply.
       Hope you all find this useful
       Mitch
       
       #Post#: 16--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Welcome to our forum
       By: merionvw Date: March 23, 2017, 9:15 am
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       Gosh Mitch, some of that really got to me - not that I know what
       to do with it!
       #Post#: 19--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Welcome to our forum
       By: Voltaire Date: March 24, 2017, 6:37 am
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       Hi all thanks for inviting me onto this forum which I hope to
       use to tell my story.
       In the meantime having looked at some of the posts, I can
       identify with Mitch in a big way and can only say that I am now
       a bigger and better person following my mother's death. I hope
       you are making progress.
       I'll be back with my story soon.
       #Post#: 20--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Welcome to our forum
       By: Mitchell Date: March 24, 2017, 7:33 am
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       ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
       Yeah,
       it makes me think as well I can definitely see my mother in
       there. But it has helped me understand a little bit more
       Mitch
       ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
       #Post#: 21--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Welcome to our forum
       By: Mitchell Date: March 24, 2017, 7:44 am
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       :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
       Thought this may be of interest
       
       study of carer burden and well-being
       Rachel C. Bailey, University of WollongongFollow
       Brin F. S Grenyer, University of WollongongFollow
       RIS ID
       97238
       Publication Details
       Bailey, R. C. & Grenyer, B. F. S. (2014). Supporting a person
       with personality disorder: a study of carer burden and
       well-being. Journal Of Personality Disorders, 28 (6), 796-809.
       Abstract
       Personality disorders are characterized by impaired
       interpersonal functioning. There are few studies and little data
       available using validated questionnaires on the impact of caring
       for a person with personality disorder. The 287 carers included
       in this study were administered the McLean Screening Instrument
       for Borderline Personality Disorder-Carer Version, Burden
       Assessment Scale, Grief Scale, Difficulties in Emotion
       Regulation Scale, Mental Health Inventory-5, and a qualitative
       question. Scores were compared to those of published comparison
       groups. Burden and grief were significantly higher than that
       reported by carers of persons with other serious mental
       illnesses. Carers endorsed symptoms consistent with mood,
       anxiety, and posttraumatic stress disorders. A qualitative
       concept map highlighted the impact of caregiving on the
       interpersonal environment. Carers of persons with personality
       disorder report grieving their change in life and impairment in
       well-being. Carers are burdened, and appear more so than carers
       of persons with other serious mental illnesses. The results
       highlight the need for interventions to support carers.
       www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg78/evidence/bpd-full-guideline-242147
       197
       4.3.7 Public awareness and education One study by Haigh (2002)
       reported on public awareness and education about personality
       disorder. It was felt by service users that more education about
       mental health difficulties should be provided in schools to
       reduce stigma, to educate about vulnerability and to teach
       students how to seek appropriate help if they experienced
       difficulties. Leaflets in GP surgeries and support groups for
       families/carers were also suggested. Service users also felt
       that it was important that people became aware that a diagnosis
       of personality disorder ‘doesn’t mean you’re not a nice person’.
       Mitch
       #Post#: 24--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Welcome to our forum
       By: clare low Date: March 28, 2017, 4:28 am
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       Thank you to all of you who have messaged in with your stories,
       your suggestions and most importantly your encouragement and
       support. Please keep it up!
       #Post#: 28--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Welcome to our forum
       By: Mitchell Date: March 28, 2017, 10:10 am
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       ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
       Are You In A Relationship With Someone Who Has "Borderline
       Personality Disorder"
       Do you feel like you have to tiptoe around your loved one,
       watching every little thing you say or do for fear of setting
       them off?
       Do you often hide what you think or feel in order to avoid
       fights and hurt feelings?
       Does your loved one shift almost instantaneously between
       emotional extremes (e.g. calm one moment, raging the next, then
       suddenly despondent?) Are these rapid mood swings unpredictable
       and seemingly irrational?
       Does your loved one tend to view you as all good of bad, with no
       middle ground? For example, either you're "perfect" and the only
       one they can count on or you're "selfish" and "unfeeling" and
       never truly loved them.
       Do you feel like you can't win, that anything you say or do will
       be twisted and used against you?
       Does it feel as if your loved one's expectations are constantly
       changing, so you're never sure how to keep the peace?
       Is everything always your fault?
       Do you feel constantly criticized and blamed for things that
       don't even make sense?
       Does the person accuse you of doing and saying things you never
       did?
       Do you feel misunderstood whenever you try to explain or
       reassure your partner?
       Do you feel manipulated by fear, guilt, or outrageous behavior?
       Does your loved one make threats, fly into violent rages, make
       overly dramatic declarations, or do dangerous things when they
       think you're unhappy or may leave?
       If you answer "yes" to most of these questions, your partner or
       family member might have borderline personality disorder.
       "Example" :-
       Pass the butter – BPD and families
       Your Voice - the best of our members' magazine
       “I never cry, I’m usually a very positive, upbeat person and
       quite strong. But this broke me. It totally consumed me.”
       Isabella Jones’ daughter Amelia* was diagnosed as having a
       borderline personality disorder two years ago, but it wasn’t
       until recently that she learnt how to cope and more importantly,
       how to live, with her daughter’s illness.
       One of the hardest things for the families and loved ones of
       someone affected by a personality disorder is that they don’t
       understand what’s happening and often cannot cope. Above all
       they struggle to communicate and, as ValeriePorr, author of
       Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder, A Family Guide for
       Healing and Change, and President of TARA (Teaching Treatment
       and Research Advancements Association for personality disorder),
       says “they often say the wrong things for the right reasons.”
       “A classic example of what happens” Valerie explains “is you are
       all sitting around the dinner table and you say to the person
       with borderline ‘pass the butter’ and they respond with
       something like ‘why are you picking on me!? I’m not a maid, why
       don’t you ask him to pass it?’” As a result the family is
       stunned and thinks ‘where did that come from!?’ and often an
       argument starts.
       Does someone close to you suffer from borderline personality
       disorder (BPD)? If so, you already know that BPD not only
       affects those with the diagnosis—it affects everyone who cares
       about them. People with BPD have difficulty regulating their
       emotions and behavior and that can take a heavy toll on their
       partners, family members, and friends. But there’s hope, both
       for the person with BPD and for you. You can’t force someone to
       get treatment for BPD, but you can take steps to improve
       communication, set healthy boundaries, and stabilize the
       relationship.
       People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) tend to have
       major difficulties with relationships, especially with those
       closest to them. The wild mood swings, angry outbursts, chronic
       abandonment fears, and impulsive and irrational behaviors can
       leave loved ones feeling helpless, abused, and off balance.
       Partners and family members of people with BPD often say it’s
       like being on an emotional roller coaster with no end in sight.
       You may feel like you’re at the mercy of your loved one’s BPD
       symptoms—trapped unless you leave the relationship or the person
       takes steps to get better. But you have more power than you
       think.
       You can change the relationship by managing your own reactions,
       establishing firm limits, and improving communication between
       the two of you. There’s no magic cure but with the right
       treatment and support, many people with BPD can and do get
       better and their relationships can become more stable and
       rewarding. In fact, patients with the most support and stability
       at home tend to get better sooner than those whose relationships
       are more chaotic and insecure. Whether it’s your partner,
       parent, child, sibling, friend, or other loved one, you can
       improve both the relationship and your own quality of life, even
       if the person with BPD isn’t ready to acknowledge the problem or
       seek treatment
       If your loved one has borderline personality disorder, it’s
       important to recognize that he or she is suffering. The
       destructive and hurtful behaviors are a reaction to deep
       emotional pain. In other words, they’re not about you. When your
       loved one does or says something hurtful towards you, understand
       that the behavior is motivated by the desire to stop the pain he
       or she is experiencing; it’s rarely deliberate.
       Learning about BPD won’t automatically solve your relationship
       problems, but it will help you understand what you’re dealing
       with and handle difficulties in more constructive ways.
       When a family member or partner has borderline personality
       disorder, it’s all too easy to get caught up in heroic efforts
       to please and appease him or her. You may find yourself putting
       most of your energy into the person with BPD at the expense of
       your own emotional needs. But this is a recipe for resentment,
       depression, burnout, and even physical illness. You can’t help
       someone else or enjoy sustainable, satisfying relationships when
       you’re run down and overwhelmed by stress. As in the event of an
       in-flight emergency, you must “put on your own oxygen mask
       first.”
       Avoid the temptation to isolate. Make it a priority to stay in
       touch with family and friends who make you feel good. You need
       the support of people who will listen to you, make you feel
       cared for, and offer reality checks when needed.
       You’re allowed (and encouraged) to have a life! Give yourself
       permission to have a life outside of your relationship with the
       person with BPD. It’s not selfish to carve out time for yourself
       to relax and have fun. In fact, when you return to your BPD
       relationship, you’ll both benefit from your improved
       perspective.
       Join a support group for BPD family members. Meeting with others
       who understand what you’re going through can go a long way. If
       you can’t find an in-person support group in your area, you may
       want to consider joining an online BPD community.
       Don’t neglect your physical health. Eating right, exercising,
       and getting quality sleep can easily fall by the wayside when
       you’re caught up in relationship drama. Try to avoid this
       pitfall. When you’re healthy and well rested, you’re better able
       to handle stress and control your own emotions and behaviors.
       Learn to manage stress. Getting anxious or upset in response to
       problem behavior will only increase your loved one’s anger or
       agitation. By practicing with sensory input, you can learn to
       relieve stress as it’s happening and stay calm and relaxed when
       the pressure builds.'
       Many friends or family members often feel guilty and blame
       themselves for the destructive behavior of the borderline
       person. You may question what you did to make the person so
       angry, think you did something to deserve the abuse, or feel
       responsible for any failure or relapse in treatment. But it’s
       important to remember that you’re not responsible for another
       person. The person with BPD is responsible for his or her own
       actions and behaviors.
       The 3 C's are:
       I didn't cause it.
       I can't cure it.
       I can't control it.
       ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
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