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       #Post#: 9--------------------------------------------------
       Being A single, black,gay father. 
       By: StanleySmith Date: November 4, 2018, 6:10 pm
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       Hi Ladies and Gentlemen,
       I understand that this forum is for mummy's...well duh it kinda
       says on the name (nice play on words btw)  ;D ;D. However, I
       felt that it was important to have a homosexual parent as two of
       the three main focuses of the forum are gender and sexuality.
       Once I and my ex-husband became parents my focus was no longer
       just being an advocate for gender equality.  I was no longer
       just a gay married man, I was now Stan's dad and this became my
       primary and sole responsibility, it wasn't about teaching him
       about sexuality but to also teach him to be a well-rounded
       person.  It was more difficult to answer questions about why I
       and his father broke up rather than telling Stan it is okay to
       like boys. While I do understand helping your children explore
       different styles is vital, I also think it's vital to help
       children deal with other aspects of life than gender and
       sexuality.
       Like Amina, I too had to teach my child about race which became
       an important factor in his predominantly white private school.
       By trying so hard to shelter Stan from being picked on or teased
       because of my sexual choice, I raised an unhappy kid. My child
       was not culturally enriched, he had no understanding of why kids
       would be so mean and call him derogatory words because of his
       skin colour.
       This would be a challenge for any parent, let alone a single
       father. The positive attitude change came after I gave my son
       daily lessons on different historically famous black people who
       changed the world.  After a few parent-teacher meetings,
       encounters with parents and after-school lessons; my son was
       beaming with joy and couldn't wait for our lessons. This is when
       I understood that before my sexuality, before my job. I am the
       first black and this is one of the many reasons as black people
       it is important to teach our little ones how beautiful they are.
       Do not wait for social media or classmates to validate their
       beauty, as their parents, gay or not, black or white, single or
       married TELL YOUR KIDS THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL.  I have to teach my
       son about the world, I have to tackle these awkward questions
       because no one will ever have the intentions I have for my son.
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