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       #Post#: 5312--------------------------------------------------
       The Physics of Basketball 
       By: blackmustangs075 Date: November 4, 2013, 12:23 pm
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       Hello, Sploder community. I hope no introductions are
       needed, for I have applied to be a reviewer at least ten times
       now. Introductions are boring anyways, so let's get to the good
       stuff, shall we? Today, I will be reviewing a game by
       religious2, "Basketball Physics."
       I'm assuming that everyone knows of this game, or at
       least everyone who has scrolled through the featured games list
       recently. I first found this game by doing just that looking for
       nothing in particular, when a title and thumbnail caught my eye.
       Being a fan of basketball, I was immediately drawn in by this
       game, thinking "A physics game for basketball, what a great
       idea!"
       Level 1
       The game impressed me from the start, opening with a
       nice, quick and creative intro, which was a nice change from the
       usual half-a-minute long intros in average physics games. You
       simply push the CD into the- wait. What is that? What am I
       putting this CD into? A black, thin box with 3 buttons colored
       red, yellow and green. A miniature traffic light? Perhaps?
       Level 2
       My first thoughts when I entered this level: Nothing.
       I had nothing to say about this, I didnt even have anything to
       think about this.
       Objective: Get the ball into the hoop. It's that
       simple, isn't it? Of course not.
       You only get three balls. That means one, two, three,
       you're done. Then you have to click retry, and start the whole
       level over again.  No, but let's not stop there, why don't we
       make it even more of a pain with you having to figure out, you
       have to shoot one of the balls at a switch, to even make it
       remotely possible (No pun intended), by opening the gate to the
       hoop! Okay, now you have TWO balls to use. Oh, and let's make it
       even less possible with the hoop MOVING, with the only way you
       can get the ball in is by shooting it into the small open gate.
       But no, let's just strip the game of almost it's entire
       possibility, by making it so the shots can't even REACH the top
       of the wall!
       I've tried absolutely everything in my power to make
       that ball get into that hoop, but you have better luck peeing
       into a shotglass spinning on a record player strapped to a
       running cheetah's back while unicycling on a tightrope
       blindfolded.
       Trust me. When I say I've tried everything, I mean
       everything. I've tried bouncing it off of the platform with the
       switch on it, I've tried holding down the mouse button to maybe
       "charge my shot," but it just keeps spitting out balls.
       Well, after about a half an hour of frustration, I
       FINALLY figured it out. You have to do this perfectly. Use all
       three balls, and if one ball does not do what you intended, you
       have to restart the whole level. So here's the rundown for you;
       Ball One: Hit the switch on the side platform to open the gate.
       Balls Two and Three: Aim for the giant basketball at the top of
       the screen, and rapidly shoot both so the third one knocks the
       second one into the big ball. This will push the ball at the top
       down the ramp, and then all you can do now is pray. Pray that it
       goes into that moving hoop. So unless you are some kind of
       mathematical genius, you're not going to be able to calculate
       exactly when to shoot so that it goes into the moving hoop
       without hours of trial and error. But now it won't take hours
       because I have the solution. You have to wait until the hoop is
       in the middle of the gate area, and THEN shoot the balls. It
       will go to the other side and come back to the middle by the
       time the ball gets down there.
       I play basketball on my High School team, and I know
       for a FACT that this is not how basketball is played. I thought
       that this was some foreign way to play basketball, but no.
       Nobody in the world, at least in their right mind, would play
       basketball like this!
       Level 3
       Well, I can't really complain anymore, since I made it
       to level 3. Now this level looks like a real basketball game.
       There is a hoop directly in front of your view. But of course,
       there is some peculiar way you have to do this. The level
       description states "New addition, birds spit to protect their
       nests. You can figure out the rest yourself!"
       That's nice, more stuff I have to figure out for you.
       You're so lucky to have a friend like me. But now this level is
       bothering just by reading the description. Shouldn't the
       beginning of that sentence say "new edition?" And if I was a
       bird, I don't think I would be spitting to protect my nest. I am
       no animal scientist, but I am pretty sure that if a machine was
       shooting balls at my nest, I wouldn't be spitting for
       protection. But for some reason, it works. The bird spits on
       your basketballs, and they explode. Alright, forget logic for
       this game.
       I tried everything for this level, but I just cannot
       figure out what I am supposed to do. There is a mechanism with a
       basket on one side connected with a chain. A wrecking ball hangs
       on the other side, and the spitting bird nests in the middle. I
       have tried shooting the balls into the basket but the spit keeps
       making them explode. I also tried hitting the wrecking ball with
       the basketballs, but it does nothing. Well, I am now at my wits
       end with this game.
       Errors
       Level 2: After hitting the giant basketball, the mechanism that
       pushes the ball down the ramp starts going into a spinning
       frenzy.
       Level 3: Game description says "New Addition." This may
       literally mean that it's a new addition to the game, but I think
       it's supposed to say "New edition."
       Is the game being impossible an error?
       Final Thoughts
       Well, I am left with many questions after playing this
       game; Is it supposed to be possible? Does religious2 know how to
       play basketball? Perhaps these questions will never be answered.
       Do I think that this game deserves to be featured?
       It's frusturating, illogical, and too difficult, but it's
       creative and original. I believe it's in the right spot on the
       featured games list.
       Report Card
       Creativity- 10/10
       Originality-10/10
       No Errors- 7/10
       Fun- 3/10
       Replay Value (Would I want to play this again?)- 2/10
       Total: ☆☆☆ 1/2 (3 1/2 of 5 Stars)
       Conclusion
       I know it is not fitting to review the game fully, but
       this IS my application, and if I get accepted I will try to
       review the game fully. But right now, I am just trying to give
       you the feel of how my reviewing works. I do hope that I am
       accepted, and if I am, I look forward to working with all of the
       wonderful staff that Sploder has to offer. Seriously. I have
       been trying for over a YEAR to become a reviewer. Thank you for
       this oppurtunity.
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