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#Post#: 5069--------------------------------------------------
(application) Vampire Slayer part1
By: Ryanrider Date: February 8, 2013, 1:09 pm
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It was a dark cold night I the countryside within Atlanta, the
grey clouds flowing through the sky. It was possibly the calmest
night in months, but tomorrow wouldn't.
I woke up to the sound of the sterio on my bedside table tuning
into the different channels available to me. As I flickered
through them, a sudden random lightning bolt shot down in a
blink of the eye and struck the bike shed, well that was gone.
My father was calling me down now. Where were we going.......
The forest that I feared the most, you see, there was a rumor, a
terrible rumor concerning a vampire within a coffin located the
heart of the forest. I knew this was no blasphemy. It was all
true I tell you, sure i'd never been there but I know, somewhere
out there it lay, all alone in it's lone coffin, waiting for
someone to discover it........
To be continued.
This full story would go over the word limit.
#Post#: 5070--------------------------------------------------
Re: (application) Vampire Slayer part1
By: blackmustangs075 Date: February 8, 2013, 2:15 pm
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I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to deny this. You had some
spelling and grammar mistakes, and it just wasn't very
interesting overall. You didn't do a good job with grabbing the
reader's attention. Lacks clear descriptions. You have
potential, but before that potential can try to break through
once again, you must wait two more weeks. Remember the applicant
workshop!
#Post#: 5071--------------------------------------------------
Re: (application) Vampire Slayer part1
By: Ryanrider Date: February 8, 2013, 2:30 pm
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Meh, that's it now, I'll stick to reviewing, I'll try again when
all my school stuff is sorted out thoigh ;3
I'll be back >:3
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