DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
mrd Graphics
HTML https://mrdgames.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Writing Applications
*****************************************************
#Post#: 5026--------------------------------------------------
The Gem of The Gods-Maxliam Writer Application [Approved]
By: maxliam Date: February 5, 2013, 9:09 am
---------------------------------------------------------
As I walk through the meadows of my church, a tear catches my
eye,
For, I praise god for thee great things, I see the grain, and
all the rye,
The grass, so elegantly soft, so luscious, so silky. But then
over all of
the excitement and joy, I find; Perhaps I shouldn’t be here. I
realize
what I have done and who shall pay, and who shall weep against
their
husband’s dead body. If one is to find me, they will find no
more than
a broken body damp with tears, and blood. If I am to die on this
spot,
I want to wish my kids a good luck for their future goals, such
as college,
and marriage, and them starting their own family. If I am to
miss that only
because of one little mistake I will do, and I have probably
already done,
then I wish everyone good luck. Now, why am I so in peril, and
scared?
I have stolen the gem of the Gods. This gem controls how people
act, and how
people serve YOU. I stole right from my church and that is why I
am in
the meadows, that is why I was saying calm, and peaceful facts
to myself,
and I was walking with a fast pace. So if they find me, I wish
you and your
friends good luck, because they are coming soon. They will not
spare me so,
run my child. “When will dad come back?” my 8 year old son Sam
asks.
“He said he had a digestive problem, so he thinks a walk will
help that’s all.”
answers my wife who was just as inpatient as my son, but she
tries to hide this.
“Melinda, do you think we should look for Tim? It has been a
good hour.” The
Pastor interruptingly says. Suddenly the burglar alarm kicks
off. Screams echo off the
hollow walls. A church guard yells through a mega-phone “THE GEM
IS GONE,
I REPEAT THE GEM IS GONE!” Cops scatter out the back door, and
–gulp-
into the meadows. Now Melinda knows what has happened. She knows
what she must
do, and all the stress and fear blacks her out. She sees blurry
images of a stretcher with
a bloody body going into the ambulance cab, and Sam crying. The
next thing you know
is you wake up in a cold bed with no Sam, for what we know, he
killed himself with the gem.
To be continued..
If this gets accepted Part 2 will come, and I have a BIG story
line that I want to do,and I have to be a writer to give it out.
#Post#: 5028--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Gem of The Gods-Maxliam Writer Application
By: blackmustangs075 Date: February 5, 2013, 10:35 am
---------------------------------------------------------
This is really good! Accepted! I loved how you used imagery and
your descriptions were great. You made some quoting mistakes
(Every time you make a quote, you must indent and start a new
paragraph) but other than that, it was great! I'll add you to
writer right now. Can't wait to read the whole story in the
Writer's Avenue! =)
#Post#: 5030--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Gem of The Gods-Maxliam Writer Application [Approved]
By: maxliam Date: February 5, 2013, 10:49 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Thank you. ;)
#Post#: 5034--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Gem of The Gods-Maxliam Writer Application [Approved]
By: blackmustangs075 Date: February 5, 2013, 11:41 am
---------------------------------------------------------
You're welcome! You deserve it ;)
#Post#: 5039--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Gem of The Gods-Maxliam Writer Application [Approved]
By: teamsatisfaction Date: February 5, 2013, 12:37 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Gratz, Maxliam! =)
*****************************************************