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       #Post#: 308--------------------------------------------------
       Performance Journal
       By: xxHaZ Date: August 5, 2014, 4:34 pm
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       I do this for emWave and it's pretty effective so I'd like to do
       this for poker too. This will also keep me oriented such that
       I'm continually trying to peak my in-game performance.
       So far, I know my best performance comes from minimizing
       distraction (no phone/music/outside distractions - a quiet room
       and a fan are my best playing conditions), playing less tables,
       and getting my nervous system to comply with my mental demands
       thru training activities and repetition. These should all be
       second nature things, but for whatever reason I regularly dip
       into self-sabotage mode by playing more tables than I can handle
       or blasting loud music which influences the fluidity and
       responsiveness of my thoughts. I've discovered these things are
       really just rejection to "boredom" -- or more or less from a
       dependence on external stimulation. This is the root of all
       suffering IMO. There is a depth of immersion I am missing
       (purposefully?) by these distractions... this + tangible growth
       brings me happiness... not by blind-siding myself, deliberately
       or not.
       Anyway, I'm going to do post-session reports after every session
       and be completely honest with how everything went. These will
       just be notes because I don't want to waste any time doing this,
       just to build a strong foundation of references that supports me
       playing my best.
       #Post#: 309--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Performance Journal
       By: xxHaZ Date: August 5, 2014, 7:01 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       August 5th
       Session 1 (approx 3 hours, 4 tabling Seals):
       Gameplay: B/A
       Conditions: Pretty minimal distractions - although I drafted up
       the first post in this thread for the first 15 minutes while I
       pulled up tables. Side-surfing is a pretty big distraction.
       Overall felt good to remove any interruptions and I could feel
       my "inspired" self become more engaged. This is simply accessing
       state flow... more available in environments that help cultivate
       this.
       Notes: Possibly made one "snap" mental misstep at a higher BTC
       game I was shooting at a very splashy table. SB 3b a fishy 75bb
       UTG with 14% 3b... he plays pairs like 77-88+ this way, and he
       seemed primed to call off poorly, so I just cold-jammed JJ from
       the BB for 100bbs. Might be a bit too ambitious - got it in as a
       flip so whatever.
       #Post#: 310--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Performance Journal
       By: xxHaZ Date: August 6, 2014, 1:22 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       August 5th
       Session 2 (approx 1 hr, 4 tabling Bovada)
       Gameplay: B
       Conditions: Minimal distractions - post crossfit work out so
       started off with a lot of energy and creativity then gradually
       dwindled over the session... very sleepy now. As I became sleepy
       I felt myself become more bored and prepared to side-surf... but
       caught myself once or twice.
       Notes: Had a para-spike near the end of the session (this is a
       mental hi-jack when unsure of a decision -> body goes into
       emotional mode) where I open UTG with QJss, MP calls, Flop =
       453r. Seems like a good flop to bet with QJs. Turn is an Ax.
       Check/check. River I felt a little fight/flight mode engage when
       deciding whether to bluff or not. This comes from uncertainty or
       self-doubt. I did bluff for 3/4 -- I think we play some
       AJ/AT/maybe even AQ in this line, and he's discounted for Ax
       after a turn check and we have removal on an optimal defense
       range blocking both AQ/AJ so I like it. Interesting to note the
       para-spike tho... just an indicator I need to keep studying and
       mark these sort of hands (when I have more reliable software in
       the future).
       Really like this format. Definitely a mandatory tool for me in
       order to "go pro" and treat every session accordingly.
       #Post#: 312--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Performance Journal
       By: xxHaZ Date: August 6, 2014, 6:47 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       August 6th
       Session 1 (approx 2 hours on Seals, 7-8 tabling)
       Gameplay: B
       Conditions: Minimal distraction which led to some more creative
       thinking. Pretty pwned from a heavy Crossfit and early soccer
       practice though, so grew progressively more tired over time.
       Notes: I had an impulse earlier to start playing more tables
       than I probably should which probably led to some erratic
       choices... such as the turn/river pot hand I just posted in hand
       review. If I slowed things down I should probably have known
       that potting on such a polarizing turn is incongruent with any
       of our value... it's a spot where I realized our bluffs can
       start printing money by betting large but I can't balance this
       with any plausible value after it's strengthened our range and
       removes enough 1-A defense after a PSB - our value uses smaller
       sizing otherwise we compromise his defending ranges too much
       through removal. After one PSB which isn't congruent with our
       value, a second PSB on a relatively harmless river just looks
       face-up like a misplayed bluff pretty regularly (since it makes
       not sense to be potting on a card that strengthens our range and
       threatens his defense freqs). Anyway, again playing too many
       tables seemed to impact winrate and decisions FTL... the purpose
       of this thread is to cultivate a good playing environment and
       I've laid out the criteria in the first post (6 tables max on
       Seals seems optimal for the time being).
       #Post#: 315--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Performance Journal
       By: xxHaZ Date: August 7, 2014, 7:06 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       August 7th
       Session 1 (4 hours, 6 tabling on Seals)
       Gameplay: A
       Conditions: pretty minimal distractions... side-surfed a little
       bit around 2/3 during the session. Around this same time I
       listened to one track to help pump me back up ... which I
       quickly turned off because I realized it cut into my thought
       processes so drastically.
       Notes: Felt in control mostly the whole time -- and I think
       that's what table management really comes down to (which is why
       some days I can play plenty of tables and make very good
       decisions and other days I can hardly manage 4-6). It actually
       got to the point where I recognized in a HU match that checking
       back some stronger made hands yields the higher EV against a
       competent opponent. This takes a certain level of attentiveness
       and concentration I often deny myself of. Had a couple
       interesting spots that I think I played ok -- posted in the hand
       review section.
       Off to Chipotle for some energy food and to work on Tipton
       before a Crossfit sesh... and later hopefully we can make some
       headway on Bovada HS. Been BE after a pretty hefty DS there for
       about a week now.
       #Post#: 316--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Performance Journal
       By: A Date: August 7, 2014, 7:43 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Edit:  I know this post seems to come out of nowhere, but I
       wrote it in here because the point is that The Time Is Now.  I
       see you post a lot of stuff about emotional issues with the game
       and all of this stuff, but the reality is those problems are as
       real as you make them.  When you start realizing what is
       happening, I think it will actually boost your performance
       because you'll just automatically cut out everything that isn't
       helping (including a lot of the limiting beliefs).
       I don't know how to say this, but if I were you I would
       seriously start putting some money away for when things get
       really bad.
       I don't just mean buy some silver and call that enough.  I mean
       do some really hard-core research and think about what America
       might look like in two years when you get out of school.
       Fortunately (for your situation), it looks like things are going
       to get bad socially and economically (for people with pensions
       and conventional jobs) for awhile before things get worse on the
       domestic war front and on the economic front (i.e. the dollar
       actually devalues).  Hyper-inflation looks incredibly unlikely
       (if not impossible) for awhile, at least, but prices will
       continue to rise.
       Eventually, though, California will not be a safe place to be.
       It will be one of the worst areas to be if things unfold the way
       that lots of credible people are predicting.  Have an exit plan
       and watch what's going on with the borders very closely.  Do NOT
       take for granted the fact that you can pick up and leave the
       country today.  That may not be the case in two years.
       I guess I'm saying is two things:
       1)  Don't take my word for ANY of this and your own research,
       but I think/fear that you have absolutely no idea what is
       coming.  The Federal Reserve is the tip of the ice-berg.  Not
       very many people understand that, and it takes a lot of time and
       effort to understand the context and the implication of what's
       been going on.  The most helpful thing that you can do for
       your-self and the people around you is understand that you're
       (probably) in the dark.  Start learning.
       2)  Think hard about whether or not you want to commit another
       two years to shoveling money at people who read you books so you
       can end up with a shiny piece of paper which is worth nothing.
       All I'm trying to do here is urge you to consider all of your
       options.  At least do some preparation on where you would go if
       you thought that you needed to leave.
       Edit:  I know that seems to come out of nowhere, but I wrote it
       in here because the point is that The Time Is Now.  I see you
       post a lot of stuff about emotional issues with the game and all
       of this stuff, but the reality is those problems are as real as
       you make them.  When you start realizing what is happening, I
       think it will actually boost your performance because you'll
       just automatically cut out everything that isn't helping
       (including a lot of the limiting beliefs).
       #Post#: 317--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Performance Journal
       By: xxHaZ Date: August 9, 2014, 2:00 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Yup - agree emotional pain is only as real as you allow it to
       be... putting things into perspective definitely helps to
       eliminate this. In fact I think by giving yourself room (or the
       luxury) to create emotional pain then you're actually doing
       something very wrong. So I appreciate the rando impending
       doomsday post - 1st world problems eh?
       August 8th
       Session 1 (1 hour, 4 tabling Bovada)
       Game play: B/A
       Mental game: D/C
       Conditions: Post kettlebell + light jog evening workout... felt
       a little demotivated earlier, but firing on all cylinders
       tonight after running the motions. Also, woke up with some
       unease/anxiety which immediately dissipated post-early light
       workout (soccer stuff) - in fact, this is now my cue to do an
       early workout... and my standards to begin playing involve
       eliminating this.
       Notes: Been losing/BE on Bovada for a couple weeks now... the
       longer the duration the more noticeable it's irritating. After a
       particularly annoying hand (fish 3 outters for stacks AI OTT)  I
       sat out instead of pressing on and did some re-calibrating. This
       is mostly in terms of hacking the nervous system - bioenergizer
       and quick breathing exercises are good, and then hopping back
       in.
       Session 2 (1 hour, 4 tabling Bovada)
       Game play: B+
       Mental game: B
       Conditions: No distractions. Caught myself getting tired but
       that's simply b/c it's late... as tiredness slips in my mind
       begins to wonder a little more than usual.
       Notes: Solid sesh
       #Post#: 318--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Performance Journal
       By: xxHaZ Date: August 10, 2014, 3:37 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I'll include some stuff outside of poker too as they all
       interconnect in the same mental web.
       Each soccer game makes me hungrier to improve and is a good tool
       to take note on what skills I need to work on during the week
       and throughout practice.
       One thing I recognize is the folding-under-pressure paradigm --
       two instances today I dribbled past the line of defense and
       fluffed easy shots because I got too in my head rather than
       accessing state flow and letting muscle memory and rhythm guide
       me towards scoring.
       The limiting beliefs (scoring a goal) don't exist, just like all
       the inadequacy complexes that appear to become illuminated
       through poker only exist to the degree of power I give them
       through self-doubt. Whatever you focus your consciousness on,
       you embody this frequency. It's really as simple as thinking
       positive thoughts, which gives you a corresponding state of
       consciousness, and you will gain access to a higher reality or
       degree of yourself as a consequence.
       The difficulty is holding a conviction in this choice... which
       is achieved thru the culmination of references reinforcing the
       desired behavior.
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