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#Post#: 359--------------------------------------------------
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By: Tara Date: February 5, 2016, 6:14 pm
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#Post#: 363--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cannibal
By: Lumaria Date: February 6, 2016, 5:41 pm
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So this had a steady pace. It was simple and you gave enough
clues but also didn't expect your reader to know it instantly.
So it works well as you build up to it.
I only have a small problem with the names as they clash in
culture and there's no response. But overall this was easier to
follow.
There is probably more room in the description of what's going
on. But this works really well in terms of pacing and also
feeding us the right ideas.
#Post#: 373--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cannibal
By: Lumaria Date: February 7, 2016, 8:14 pm
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Well let me know when you make adjustments.
#Post#: 438--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cannibal
By: Crackhead Johny Date: February 20, 2016, 3:46 pm
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As she grows sharp teeth she is probably not a cannibal, as she
is not human but her prey is.
So what we are looking at is a super powered young demon/vampire
(please do not say ghoul.. please do not say ghoul!) eats people
for power and will fight the evil lord so and so?
Does she get a wise caretaker?
Is she descended genetically or mystically from monster
royalty.. maybe Dracula/the devil himself?
Does it look like she if going to lose the fight with so and so
but actually wins?
Does her wise care taker die during or before this fight?
Does she actually fight for humanity?
Hint: the answer to these questions should be "NO!".
#Post#: 445--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cannibal
By: Crackhead Johny Date: February 20, 2016, 11:30 pm
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I watched the first season of Tokyo Ghoul. It was Shinji from
NGE whines through a season. Absolutely terrible.
I have been told that season 2 is where it becomes good.
#Post#: 466--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Cannibal
By: Levi Hahn Date: February 23, 2016, 12:10 am
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I love Tokyo Ghoul. I found Kaneki's personality to be
believable.
I think this story is gonna be really good. lol and you probably
got a lot of inspiration from Tokyo Ghoul.
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