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#Post#: 13328--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Hang-Out: Dawn to Atonement
By: AuroraDash Date: January 2, 2021, 8:51 pm
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HTML https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLTka6eUPc4
The end of a
chapter.
#Post#: 15379--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Hang-Out: Atonement and Redemption
By: AuroraDash Date: July 16, 2021, 8:46 am
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Hellloooo. Finally got the thesis submitted today~! Hell yeah!
Unfortunately, get drunk to celebrate, but instead of
celebrating I'm having a nihilistic meltdown instead.
Wayyy back in the day, as a kid, my enemy was deep time and the
heat death of the universe. One's own death is one thing. The
destruction of the Earth is similar, but on a bigger scale, it's
still psychologically manageable. The idea that someday the
whole cosmos will be dead and dark and nothing interesting will
ever happen again? That's primal horror on a level that a
10-year-old just isn't equipped to deal with. It just scars the
mind.
As an adult, though, I can deal with it. I can think about the
heat death of the universe, stare into that abyss, and go,
"yeah, whatever, who gives a ****". Now, my enemy is the hedonic
treadmill, because, unlike heat death, it's a concept which
fucks with your day-to-day life. Like, you've got goals in life.
Long term and short term goals. But regardless of whatever you
achieve and how far you get, it will never be enough. You'll
feel that euphoria for a few moments whenever you make progress,
but then rapidly return to that baseline level of "meh". If
think: if I got everything I ever wanted tomorrow, I'd wake up
the day after with a whole new list of things I want which are
even harder to get, and if I had a magic bullet which solved all
my problems, I'd still have just as many problems a week from
now. It's demoralising. It makes me feel like nothing is
actually worthwhile and no goal is worthy and there's no point
in even trying to accomplish anything and the best thing to do
is not even bother. Of course, that's probably all an illusion
and some **** actually does achieve long-run improvements to my
wellbeing, at least to some extent, but it's still
psychologically onerous. How I deal with it is to think: don't I
still wanna climb that hill, so I can at least /know/ what the
new list of things to want is? Sure, I'll still have problems
but they'll be new and interesting problems and it'll be a nice
change of pace from the current tedium. The effectiveness of
those lines of thinking varies.
Case in point: Sypher. With relationships, there's this period
of like 1-3 months where all the problems seem manageable and it
seems like they're worth dealing with because it's new and
exciting. Then, with normal relationships I get bored and
resentful and lose interest, and with open relationships I get
jealous and resentful and start to fill up with anguish. It
seems like I can't handle relationships either way, and that
even trying a long-term relationship in any sense is kind of a
waste of time because it's doomed to failure, I'll have a
terrible time while I'm coping with that failure, and I'll
probably make a lot of enemies along the way, who may well last
way longer than the relationship ever did (cough cough Luditas).
Of course, some people spend their whole lives chasing some
ideal, believing that if they can just make everything perfect
it'll all be worth it, and while they end up sad and alone,
their lack of self-awareness means they at least carry hope and
enthusiasm with them along their path. We came up with this
pragmatic solution where, if one of us wants the other to stay
away from somebody, the other has to do it, no questions asked.
It seems appealing because the sacrifice associated with it is
not that big, when the jealousy gets too much you can reel
everything back into a comfy little box and when the boredom
gets too much you can come back out of that box again. Of
course, that failed because Sypher (a) complained about me using
that system whenever I did so, (b) never used the system himself
and instead chose to complain about me directly and (c) is a
filthy **** liar who ignored the system anyway. So, generally,
it seems like relationships do a lot more harm than good to my
personal wellbeing, regardless of what form they take. Maybe
something like a master/pet arrangement would be more
manageable.
I've started work on a Misery of Magic wiki -- so far, I have 25
pages. Once I've made a few more I'll show it off to you guys :3
Anyway, I'm off to sleep now. I really appreciate you guys.
#Post#: 15380--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Hang-Out: Atonement and Redemption
By: AuroraDash Date: July 16, 2021, 8:59 am
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Meh, maybe it's not so bad and I just need sleep.See you guys
later 💛
#Post#: 16298--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Flower Dragon Atone-Out: Alpacalyptic Redemption Tower
By: AuroraDash Date: November 18, 2021, 7:12 pm
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[quote author=Charlie link=topic=418.msg16297#msg16297
date=1637267658]
*defenestrates self*
*makes peace with the time pirates*
*transcends many tablecloths*
*burns down the pavement*
*litigates the vampire queen*
*falls past the penultimate garden*
*calls forth two cinderblocks*
*obeys a quokka*
*speaks the past into being*
*acquires happiness*
*regresses the extra-terrestrial skies*
*spins too many arms*
*is attitude*
*returns water to the brink*
*compares a doorknob*
*divests stubbornness*
*becomes technology**returns water to the brink*
*compares a doorknob*
*divests stubbornness*
*becomes technology*
:3[/quote]
#Post#: 17572--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Epic Hang-Out: the ultimate Bloom Beast collector's edit
ion
By: Kim Tyranto Date: February 3, 2022, 4:19 pm
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PC Internet get…
Still using phone. For now.
#Post#: 19707--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Epic Hang-Out: the ultimate Bloom Beast collector's edit
ion
By: King (2.0) Date: August 8, 2022, 6:54 am
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[quote author=RKS link=topic=418.msg19693#msg19693
date=1659898521]
… exists
HTML https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motorized_tricycle…
[/quote]
Thank you for your contribution to this thread.
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