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       #Post#: 8133--------------------------------------------------
       Re: unti-depressant
       By: meshak Date: June 28, 2014, 7:39 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Brad link=topic=806.msg8130#msg8130
       date=1403955179]
       I was aware that I was depressed, but I was too afraid to share
       it, as I had found out that people loved to take advantage of
       weakness in others and that was just another weakness.   And I
       did often think about taking my life to end my suffering, but I
       was to afraid to do so, not sure of what would happen after
       death.   Thank God for His help with me.
       [/quote]
       You are right, weak faith people take advantage of another
       imperfect Christians and bully them around.  I am sharing the
       same thing at another forum.  I am surrounded by wolves.
       sad thing is that people who had the same problem and got help
       from meds succumb into bullies and take back their witnessing
       and join in bullies..
       God, have mercy on us.
       thank you, Brad:)
       #Post#: 8178--------------------------------------------------
       Re: unti-depressant
       By: Brad Date: June 28, 2014, 6:59 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=meshak link=topic=806.msg8133#msg8133
       date=1403959152]
       [quote author=Brad link=topic=806.msg8130#msg8130
       date=1403955179]
       I was aware that I was depressed, but I was too afraid to share
       it, as I had found out that people loved to take advantage of
       weakness in others and that was just another weakness.   And I
       did often think about taking my life to end my suffering, but I
       was to afraid to do so, not sure of what would happen after
       death.   Thank God for His help with me.
       [/quote]
       You are right, weak faith people take advantage of another
       imperfect Christians and bully them around.  I am sharing the
       same thing at another forum.  I am surrounded by wolves.
       sad thing is that people who had the same problem and got help
       from meds succumb into bullies and take back their witnessing
       and join in bullies..
       God, have mercy on us.
       thank you, Brad:)
       [/quote]
       You are welcome!   Would you like to hear the parable the Lord
       gave me about wolves?
       #Post#: 8183--------------------------------------------------
       Re: unti-depressant
       By: meshak Date: June 28, 2014, 9:59 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Brad link=topic=806.msg8178#msg8178
       date=1403999953]
       You are welcome!   Would you like to hear the parable the Lord
       gave me about wolves?
       [/quote]
       sure:)
       #Post#: 8197--------------------------------------------------
       Re: unti-depressant
       By: Jella Date: June 29, 2014, 8:36 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I will say that I deal with depression that started in childhood
       too. I am also on meds for it, altho I would like to get off
       them too. What I am learning is that (for me anyway) the
       depression was originally triggered by my family situation. My
       father was so acutely abusive, and my mother stood by and let it
       happen...and I had no refuge anywhere...that it solidified and
       became a part of me. Meaning that because it was literally an
       overwhelming situation, (too much for a child to handle) it
       became more than just an emotional thing anymore...it spread and
       affected my brain and body - my view of God and of myself - my
       whole life.
       Meds help...oh, they saved my life literally. But, what is at
       the root of the depression is the abuse...and what the abuse
       communicated to me. The abuse told me a bunch of lies...that I
       was worthless, unlovable, no good, ugly, stupid, and a
       bother...and that God was a harsh dictator.
       If a child has no one (as even one person can make a difference)
       on a regular basis that will be a refuge and a postive "truth
       telling" influence to them...then the only consistant message
       they are getting is the lies, and therefore is what becomes
       their "truth" and is internalized. Then when it is
       internalized...it becomes 'who they are' so to speak. >> A child
       lives what they learned <<
       But because they were untruths that I learned about God, myself
       and the world, then of course they won't produce joy, or peace,
       or contentment...which is why these things have had to be
       unlearned....(well, ARE being unlearned :))...and then the real
       truths learned to take their place.
       The two biggest real truths that I am learning is that God
       doesn't just love me, but delights in me as well! That He likes
       me...enjoys me...like a good father would enjoy His children.
       The second is that the way my parents parented me said something
       about them, not about me. Just because they were not good
       parents did not mean that I was not good...worthwhile and
       lovable. THEY are/were the ones with the problems...not me. I
       was just a child.
       P.S. The 1st picture below...the verse in it is a good one for
       some folks like us. Because normally, because of our past, we
       have made some ill fated choices....for me anyway, I didn't have
       enough confidence to wait and make the better choices...because
       I felt I could get no better...so I have had to go and confess
       to someone I trust, get prayer and seek God's truth, forgiveness
       and healing.
       [attachment deleted by admin]
       #Post#: 8204--------------------------------------------------
       Re: unti-depressant
       By: meshak Date: June 29, 2014, 10:16 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Jella link=topic=806.msg8197#msg8197
       date=1404048970]
       I will say that I deal with depression that started in childhood
       too. I am also on meds for it, altho I would like to get off
       them too. What I am learning is that (for me anyway) the
       depression was originally triggered by my family
       situation.[/quote]
       I think it is hereditary too. I had deeply dysfunctional family
       environment; my father was alcoholic and could not hold steady
       job.  We were in extreme poverty.  We hardly had enough to eat.
       We did not have modern convenience of electricity and plumbing
       system like everyone else around because my parents did not know
       how to apply for those. I know we were qualify for getting help.
       They did not know how to apply for it. My father was also
       illiterate. I did not know about it until I figured out lately.
       Father had to have alcohol daily: I had to get it for him in
       debt.  I was so embarrassed everyday when I get it for him. He
       also became violent when his feelings got hurt.
       All these negative family situation accumulated and became
       chronic chemical imbalance, I believe..
       thank you for sharing Jella:)
       
       #Post#: 8206--------------------------------------------------
       Re: unti-depressant
       By: Jella Date: June 29, 2014, 10:25 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=meshak link=topic=806.msg8204#msg8204
       date=1404055002]
       [quote author=Jella link=topic=806.msg8197#msg8197
       date=1404048970]
       I will say that I deal with depression that started in childhood
       too. I am also on meds for it, altho I would like to get off
       them too. What I am learning is that (for me anyway) the
       depression was originally triggered by my family
       situation.[/quote]
       I think it is hereditary too. I had deeply dysfunctional family
       environment; my father was alcoholic and could not hold steady
       job.  We were in extreme poverty.  We hardly had enough to eat.
       We did not have modern convenience of electricity and plumbing
       system like everyone else around because my parents did not know
       how to apply for those. I know we were qualify for getting help.
       They did not know how to apply for it. My father was also
       illiterate. I did not know about it until I figured out lately.
       Father had to have alcohol daily: I had to get it for him in
       debt.  I was so embarrassed everyday when I get it for him. He
       also became violent when his feelings got hurt.
       All these negative family situation accumulated and became
       chronic chemical imbalance, I believe..
       thank you for sharing Jella:)
       
       [/quote]
       Thank you for your willingness to share as well! Meshak :) Have
       you saught counseling? I am going to a Christian recovery center
       in my area...
       #Post#: 8208--------------------------------------------------
       Re: unti-depressant
       By: meshak Date: June 29, 2014, 11:26 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Jella link=topic=806.msg8206#msg8206
       date=1404055508]
       Thank you for your willingness to share as well! Meshak :) Have
       you saught counseling? I am going to a Christian recovery center
       in my area...
       [/quote]
       When I became Jesus follower, Jesus teachings became my
       counseling.  I was deeply into myself and did not have room for
       anything else.  Jesus opened my eyes to look for the world.
       then all my depression went away.  I started see myself and my
       family objectively.
       He literally pulled me out from the pit.:)
       I cannot thank Him enough.
       But I still have uncontrollable negative feelings come up if I
       don't take meds.
       peace:)
       #Post#: 8209--------------------------------------------------
       Re: unti-depressant
       By: Jella Date: June 29, 2014, 1:08 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       <But I still have uncontrollable negative feelings come up if I
       don't take meds.>
       Meshak...it is these negative feelings that come out when you
       are not taking the meds that God wants to heal. This is why I
       suggested counseling. This is a war that a person fights when
       they are dealing with major depression...
       Proverbs 24:6 For with wise guidance you shall make war for
       yourself,
       and victory is in an abundance of counsel.
       :)
       #Post#: 8215--------------------------------------------------
       Re: unti-depressant
       By: meshak Date: June 29, 2014, 3:54 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Jella link=topic=806.msg8209#msg8209
       date=1404065333]
       <But I still have uncontrollable negative feelings come up if I
       don't take meds.>
       Meshak...it is these negative feelings that come out when you
       are not taking the meds that God wants to heal. This is why I
       suggested counseling. This is a war that a person fights when
       they are dealing with major depression...
       Proverbs 24:6 For with wise guidance you shall make war for
       yourself,
       and victory is in an abundance of counsel.
       :)
       [/quote]
       those counseling make me feel self-pity which I don't need. I
       need uplifting, not stay in the past.
       have peace with God, and I know meds are God's sent for me.
       #Post#: 8219--------------------------------------------------
       Re: unti-depressant
       By: Brad Date: June 29, 2014, 7:29 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=meshak link=topic=806.msg8183#msg8183
       date=1404010743]
       [quote author=Brad link=topic=806.msg8178#msg8178
       date=1403999953]
       You are welcome!   Would you like to hear the parable the Lord
       gave me about wolves?
       [/quote]
       sure:)
       [/quote]
       Will start another thread called wolves.
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