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#Post#: 7810--------------------------------------------------
Safety
By: Jella Date: June 13, 2014, 7:15 am
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I think it is so important - safety. There are not a lot of safe
places to express one's own (uncomfortable) feelings in this
world...but, this is the place to do that.
This means that when someone expresses their feelings...others
can ask questions for clarification...so that they can
help/contribute/sympathize/pray...but not so they can criticize.
Expressing opinions, well, there can be disagreements...not
fighting or insulting...but a little bit of civilized/grown-up
debate. BUT, expressing emotions is a whole different ballgame.
We can do some reading or studying and change our opinions...but
feelings are not that way. Feelings stem naturally from
experiences we've had...and most often had little choice in the
kinds of emotions that were produced...
For instance, some people grow up with a thick shell...overly
strong boundaries...rebellious...because of the abuse they
suffered as a child. Where others grow up...or rather, their
growth is arrested...and so they grow up wearing shame and hurt
on their sleeve, making immature choices, and allowing further
abuse in their lives and relationships. Just like a bruise is a
natural result of getting hit by a rock...shame and many other
types of feelings/attitudes are the result of different kinds of
abuse.
So, in this forum....private/for women only...we will not
criticize the bruises...only the rocks.
The only thing that can help change the feelings, attitudes and
reactions to being hit by a rock is God's love and truth. Truth
meaning; that the rock is a lie and the thrower the liar. We do
not need to criticize/throw rocks at someone for talking about
their (what we may call) bad or negative emotions...or bad
attitudes...or life choices that miss the mark - as these begin
to change as love and truth begin to sink in.
We have all sinned and fallen short. We all need God's love and
mercy...and the greater someone has missed the mark, the deeper
God is willing to reach down to love and show mercy to that
person. God wants us more than we want Him.
Let's sit....have tea (or coffee:)...chat...and care for one
another.
So, if you are a woman....you are invited to join us...over at
the 'women only' area!
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#Post#: 7812--------------------------------------------------
Re: Safety
By: Kerry Date: June 13, 2014, 7:33 am
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Hi, and welcome to the forum, Jella. I should probably tell
people the women's forum was your idea and it sounded good to
me. Maybe I should tell everyone too that men can't see the
private area, and that includes me (unless signed in as admin
under the Giuliano account which I don't use much).
#Post#: 7831--------------------------------------------------
Re: Safety
By: Jella Date: June 13, 2014, 4:22 pm
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Kerry....in the women only area I shared that you thought the
idea was good which is why we have it. :) And yes, the men do
need to know that they can't see that area....Thanks!! :)
#Post#: 7833--------------------------------------------------
Re: Safety
By: Kerry Date: June 13, 2014, 4:53 pm
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[quote author=Jella link=topic=774.msg7831#msg7831
date=1402694524]
Kerry....in the women only area I shared that you thought the
idea was good which is why we have it. :) And yes, the men do
need to know that they can't see that area....Thanks!! :)
[/quote]I did want people to know it was your idea.
Hey, if the men want a men's only area, that could be arranged;
but I might not want to read what goes on in such a forum!
LOL
#Post#: 7840--------------------------------------------------
Re: Safety
By: Jella Date: June 13, 2014, 9:23 pm
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Kerry...well, you'd know better then I about what would go on in
a men's only forum...well, but I can guess, I guess :-\
#Post#: 7902--------------------------------------------------
Re: Safety
By: Rita Date: June 16, 2014, 1:57 am
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Hi Jella,
I wrote a post on here yesterday, must have forgotten to hit '
post ' - that is just so frustrating !
I wanted to encourage you in having a place of safety- when I
went through my own divorce seven years ago I needed somewhere
to go where I could express, be listened to and find empathy.
For me it took the form of a Yahoo group, Picket fences (
christian divorce recovery group ) I knew I could share the
pain, journey, experiences with people who would understand. The
group became my life line. Seven years on and I am part of the
ministry team there, supporting others.
We all need a space we can trust, with people that we know will
be empathic. Sadly many of us are not blessed with those people
around us in our own environment- so its great to have that
space on line. Also I am convinced that it is sometimes easier
to open up using the written word rather than face to face -
don't know about others, but often body language and expressions
can impact feeling okay about sharing - you just know when
someone you have chosen to trust is not really interested, or
perhaps doesn't really understand, or is looking elsewhere while
you speak - boy that happened so many times, hence why I looked
for support online !
Rita
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