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Patterns of Relationships
By: lolafoundation Date: May 5, 2016, 9:10 am
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Teenagers are so inquisitive in knowing whether they can have a
Relationship that is similar to that of their friends. They
often get worried, agitated and bothered when what they
experience in their own Relationships is quite different from
the experiences their friends shares with them. Relationships
are an important part of who you are and if not well handle it
could affect other things around you. Your relationship can be a
source of happiness, but can also cause anxiety and stress if
not well handled. In facts some relationship can even become
unsafe. Also teenagers want to know why there is much emphasis
and clamoring on why any sort of immorality should not be
entertain in their own Relationships.
One thing you have to know is that Relationships does not
follow a single pattern. Definitely, what you experience in your
Relationships may be different from that of your friends, it’s
all about what you want and determine to do. Majority believe
that, it is the courtships period that leads to marriage. So
having a rough courtship could tell in marriage, it doesn’t
matter if they end up in marriage what matter is if they have a
successful life time marriage. The imperativeness of a strong
foundation for every Relationship cannot be over emphasis as it
is also a necessary condition in establishing a wonderful union.
This old cliché holds tenaciously true: it better safe than
sorry. This implies that there is the need for you to be
careful, watchful and vigilant before you subject yourself to
any relationship intimidation as to what you see in your
friend’s relationship. You should ask yourself what do I want in
my Relationship that can sustain it? You have to know that you
as an individual coming together have a great responsibility in
making decisions that have a positive result over a long term.
It is not about pleasing anybody now, it about making a decision
you’ll live with the rest of your life, so you don’t have to
compare and contrast what standard you could have set for your
Relationships with that of your friends. There are 3 patterns
of Relationship:
The first pattern is lust; but the question to ask is how can
lust be a pattern of Relationship? Let me make it clear to you
that you may get married at the lust pattern if you are not
careful. We have seen some individual getting hooked up at this
very initially level in their love life. This temporary feeling
and craving may last for even years, against the believe of some
people that it could stop within months. If you marry at the
lust level, this is disastrous in the long run. Interestingly,
this pattern of relationship is when you are only seeing what
you want to see or what makes you feel good and awesome and
ignoring what makes you feel bad. You experienced several
timeless phone calls and outing, in the beginning everything
looks so wonderful, just as if there is nothing in the world
that could separate the two of you. Sadly, that could all be
short term fizzle. So you have to focus on what really matter.
Someone who will love and respect you in marriage and not just
for the period of courtship. However as time pass and reality
set in, simply because the lust pattern which is just an
illusion will not endure forever so you ended up disappointed
and jilted. Perhaps, If you find yourself in a lust-pattern
affair, it’s up to you to act accordingly depending on your
wants and needs. If you discover that the relationship’s you are
in is only base on lust, it is needful to take your leave if all
you want is a future ended relationship. It takes someone who is
patience enough, spirit filled and thought to identify if your
partner has grown from this level to the next level. The next
pattern of relationship is the attraction pattern ; The
attraction pattern have an important role in any Relationship,
it is a vital and enriching component of your Relationship over
the years. This is more powerful, Indispensable and it is what
you see in each other and you want to see it again and again,
it’s often irresistible. You cant love or even marry someone
that is not attracted to you., so having the attraction will
heighten the desire to be closer to each other and could be in
any form, it could be the way a guy walks, or how charming a
lady smiles when you cracks jokes, in fact it could be as funny
as how a lady make up, it is basically self-personified., but
the most important thing is that the attraction is what truly
bring the connection. This pattern of relationship is not always
looking for a perfect partner; in fact in your imperfection it
still works wonders. Because a person who is attracted to you
takes you the way you are.so for you to be that an attractive
person you definitely have to be the very best that you can be
through being confident about yourself. You should also know
that you can’t be attractive to everyone, but to more than you
might think. The mistake or the misconception most teenagers
have is that they think they can be attractive to everybody and
often feel so troubled when they try so hard to impress someone
they like, but unfortunately there is no positive response. You
should understand that it is not possible for you to be
attractive to everybody’s and when you try so harder to impress
someone you like, it makes you look fake and over bearing. When
you see a couple together, you may want to judge from their
physical look as to who is beautiful or handsome between them,
it could be that the man is wonderfully made while the woman is
fearfully made or vice versa. And you could find yourself
thinking or soliloquy as to why it has to happen that way, at
least two beautiful people should marry each other and not the
other way round, realistically, that is the power of attraction.
Attraction is very powerful than the lust pattern, because, it
is not all about the feelings but is what really bring about the
connection. There is that something special about this person
that you cannot resist.
The third pattern is the commitment. Commitment in a
Relationship has to be a pathway that is mutually acceptable to
both of you and at levels that you can both honor and fulfill.
The moment you and your partner reach a compromise of living
together, you have reach the zenith, definitely before getting
to this level,it requires a lot of hardwork and sincerity. It
is a mutual agreement of needs and requirements in a future you
want to share together, with commitment levels both of you are
open to compromise and discussion, it’s a pathway that is
acceptable to both of you and at a level both can honour and
fulfill. At this level there is trust, love and respect for each
other. So many relationships has failed because there is lack of
trust between them. A committed pattern relationship is when the
two of you have decided to live together as one and to face life
together despite any hurdles. Perhaps you have to assess and
judge your present relationship pattern with an honest appraisal
before you decide whether you like the patter or not.
Copyright: Agbajelola Lola
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