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#Post#: 19--------------------------------------------------
great Tonglen email thread
By: Bari Date: April 13, 2021, 3:27 pm
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I am not sure if I will be able to join Thursday's class
because I am in the midst of preparing for an interview for a
Global Summit on Resilience. I am sending this note because I
realize that this makes an important point on the topic I will
be asked to address – resilience, in particular the desperate
need for interfaith dialogue and the reminder to not be caught
in our way of doing things. We as Buddhist, can get caught in
our thing as easily as we judge rigid Christians or Muslims or
other faiths as being caught.
Yesterday I was in a zoom session where a couple had lost their
child to gun violence. At one point someone said "we should
breathe into ourselves the love of God and out the horrors of
the world." And I thought - but what of Tonglen?
To me, what that person said is the exact essence of tonglen
and will lead to the exact same result.
Although I am a Buddhist, and more and more realize I do not
believe in God, I am in constant dialogue with many Christians
who take their faith quite seriously and regularly engage in
book discussions of Christian books with them. Those
conversations have confirmed the need to always distinguish
between skillful means and the ultimate goal. Tonglen, that is
breathing in bad and sending out good, has no "inherent value"
– the value is that it opens our hearts and moves us beyond self
which automatically means we have compassion, we are the broken
heartened warrior. We don't begin there. In fact if we were
already there, tonglen would be unnecessary. Instead we begin
where we are.
Breathing in the love of God seems to me a most perfect
place for a Christian to begin if one finds oneself overwhelmed
with the horrors of the world, as I certainly would be if
someone murdered my child. The love of God is expansive. It has
no boundaries. It does not fit into a box called me. It does not
exclude those called other. As it is breathed it, it opens the
heart wide open and eventually there is no me and them. The
first boundary broken is that there are others facing this exact
same horror and with it comes a prayer that the love of God will
comfort them as well and that they as well be protected from the
horrors of the world. As the boundaries expand, just as with
tonglen, all is included. There is no separation.
It's interesting the person did not say (which would have
been completely understandable) that they wanted to breath hate
to the murderer. Instead they wanted to breathe out the "horrors
of the world". Those horrors affect all and they were not
breathing them to send to others but to free them and let them
dissolve. If they dissolve, no one is effected. Not them, not
others. Instead the love of God replaces those horrors. And
replaces them for all.
If instead of doing tonglen as described in Buddhism, everyone
breathed in the love of God and breathed out the horrors of the
world, the horrors of the world would significantly decrease and
the world would be much better.
Evelyn
This really spoke to me, Evelyn. All the -isms seem to run into
the same problem, becoming rigid in notions of "should" and
"ought". Even Atheists, who want to escape dogma, have their own
version. I've been an atheist since my teens. I have friends who
are atheists, and it drives them crazy when someone says "I'll
pray for you". For me, I'll take that and say thank you, because
while it isn't my way, the intent is to show care in the best
way they know how. How could that be offensive?
the pandemic has taken a lot from us, but it has given us things
as well. Lessons in flexibility, community, humility come to
mind.
peace.
raine
Yes , Yes Inter-being on full display with a huge taste of
appreciation!! Tonglen .... Keith
Bari's question is one that has occurred to me too, in a
slightly different context though. I have a contemplation I
regularly use to relax and sleep, and it includes the
encouragement to 'breathe out the worries and stress of the day,
and breathe in calm' or something close to that. I eventually
realized that the contexts are different, and equally valid.
Toglen, as Evelyn beautifully said, breaks us open and is an
invitation to broaden our compassion; I find it an encouragement
to open my heart when I am closing down against pain, creating
separation. I suppose the "reverse" contemplation, the
invitation to relax and pause, could also be seen as an
invitation to compassion for self, which can then spread
outwards. When I started writing this though I was thinking
more "each in its place."
See you all next week.
Claire
Dear Evelyn
Thank you for sharing these thoughts today. Tonglen has become
my companion during this anxiety heavy pandemic year arising
spontaneously in times of sudden fear and during the daily
occasions of grief --personal and national. At first this
surprised me , but has become a welcome comfort and response. I
think tonglen, as well as the invitation to God's mercy, share
one feature: intention. That intention is perhaps not
acknowledged, but in an instant all is changed. One draws the
next breath. Or weeps. And one connects to that vast energetic
network that unites all of life. That inter-being is perhaps
what we point to as God and aspire towards. Intention and
aspiration are one.
Love peace
Jeannette
#Post#: 20--------------------------------------------------
Re: great Tonglen email thread
By: LJW Date: April 13, 2021, 11:11 pm
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Hello all...
One thing I have noticed since beginning this new practice of
Tonglen is how no matter what you are breathing in, the breath
is the same. The particles you are breathing in is the same. It
is only our mind's words that change.
This was important to me, because as I began breathing in the
pain, hate, illness of the world, it felt toxic, painful,
uncomfortable. As I breathed out health and healing, I felt like
I had not enough health to give out.
So I switched my thoughts, breathe in the good, the health, the
love, comfort myself first, fill my cup. Then, breathe out the
pain, the hurt, the wound, heal myself, let the pain go.
After doing this a few times, I tried to switch my thoughts back
to Tonglen. Then I realized..."I'm breathing in the same air."
Whatever I tell myself I am breathing, it doesn't matter,
because it is all the same. So, for my process, in time,
perhaps the conscious intention of breathing in the pain and out
the healing will feel the same as the reverse.
It also struck me that we were like trees in this practice,
breathing in the waste, exhaling the much needed oxygen of life
- love and healing. So in that sense, humans are the solution,
the cure. It made me feel better about myself and despite how
any other person feels about me, I am a good thing to have
around. I am the air purifier, I am the soothing for the spirit.
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