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#Post#: 293--------------------------------------------------
Recent Events
By: firestar Date: March 13, 2014, 9:45 pm
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gawd, i have been crying much more than i wanted to. Is there
gonna be enough time, am i gonna be able to say goodbye...how is
that security shit gonna go...am i gonna forget anything. How do
you say goodbye to a life you have had for so many years, in a
place you have been mostly raised, saying good bye to everything
you have ever known...sighs.. am i gonna screw something up? Am
i strong enough to complete this journey.. i know i have to.
Never thought it was gonna be this hard, but the alternative is
worse. Bruises are clearing up, so i guess the physical is
clearing up, but the emotional pain is still there.. still
trying to wrap my head around it, and yet forget it all, just
wanna really walk out .. sorta feels like i am running away.. i
don't wanna do anything, just walk out the door, and not look
back.. i know the day of the flight is gonna be rough, i prolly
should not be driving that day.. gawd being a passenger in my
own car..hasn't happened since i bought the car in 2002. but i
don't think i will be in my right mind to drive to the
airport..so gotta figure something out. Sorry if this is boring,
but i just needed a place to put down thoughts that were driving
me batty.. which tends to happen when i am home here, i guess i
can fake it well out it public, like its not bothering me, or
realizing what i am actually doing.. you know no time to think
about that around people, i guess. People here have been
positive, like they understand, but it is hard for me to get it
out, i practically choke on it, then i gotta tell the whole
tortured tale. i just want it all to end......
#Post#: 294--------------------------------------------------
Re: Recent Events
By: nyssa Date: March 14, 2014, 3:07 am
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hey hunigirl....
nys totally understands the fear of starting a new life...but
there is a favorite quote of mine...and please don't ask me who
said it lol i have no idea...but it was given to me when i
needed to hear it...by a very wise and wonderful guy...my cousin
Jimmy whom i adored...
"Change cannot occur until the fear of things staying the same,
outweigh the fear of change itself"...
i hope that helps ..i love you
nys
#Post#: 299--------------------------------------------------
Re: Recent Events
By: firestar Date: March 14, 2014, 8:00 pm
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yes it does and makes total sense. And thank you..loves you
too..grins
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