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#Post#: 150--------------------------------------------------
My "Story"
By: -TheFallenGamer Date: July 24, 2013, 2:35 am
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Well I don't really know how to start this off but here i go
ill tell you what pushed me to tell everyone this and i will
tell you the story itself.
What pushed me to tell everyone.
Ok well if you haven't heard there is a skype group started by
DevinEngland and a lot of us are there.
Well i don't quite remember how this conversation started but
soviet ended up telling us some of his life (Note: im very
sensitive towards this kind of stuff so be at least decent) and
it deals with similar things in my life so it pushed me to tell
everyone.
Might i state at first i was to uncomfortable to tell anyone,
but i did tell the BAREST of BARE minimum to TwinFools and
Devin.
The Story.
Age 2
My mother and father separate.
Age 7
I was just starting school, a "Normal" 7 year old boy i was in
about 1rst or 2nd grade. It got to be about the middle of the
school year and i was still getting all A's and B's, then a few
months later it was close to the end of the year and i started
arguing about everything and i ended up being grounded for a
year and a half. and i started doing nothing but thinking, Bad
thinking the kind you would not even begin to think.
Age 10
Still arguing NON-STOP but it only gets worse by this time i
have 2 brothers one being 5 and one being a fetus still XD (Just
a bit of humor to ease tension) my mother pays basically no
attention to me anymore as my brother is a SPOILED, IGNORANT,
ASS-HOLE, that gets EVERYTHING he wants.
Me being the one that does not like anyone in my house at ALL
(Mother, brother, mothers boyfriend, ETC...) Im the socially
awkward one who doesn't talk to anyone in the house. i just sit
there and do nothing but sleep, eat and sit on the Internet and
my life goes on a year.
Age 12
I begin 7th grade knowing most of my peers liking some
disliking some, as normal. It gets to be mid-School year and i
get my first True "love" (That sounded so cliche) and this is
when i begin not talking even more i keep my feeling, thoughts
ETC.. all in my head and this is when my girlfriend breaks up
with me because "i don't act like we are together" so i start
having more bad thoughts, thoughts of killing myself, thought of
killing other people (this is NOT a joke). I start getting
bullied ALOT. i get called names such as Emo, Ugly, fat ETC...
(might i state i only weigh like 97 pounds). My grades start
hitting the floor start getting C's, D's, F's and i get
grounded for it.
I start Cutting my self then a few weeks later (Open cuts on my
wrist) i make the mistake of pulling up my sleeves and my
"Friend" calls me out and says what are those, in reply i say i
fell down a tree (Terrible excuse) so we end up in a fist fight
because i hit him in the throat for calling me out... moments
later we are in the school and the principal says pull up your
sleeves i hesitate and just do it... then my mother is called in
she comes and gets me we end up in my room talking (Getting
absolutely NOWHERE).
Age 13
I start seeing a psychiatrist and it helps me stop self-harming
for a few months. then it basically restart my mom always
yelling at me and giving my brother everything he wants so i
start again but not my wrists i start on my back, my legs i
think im gonna stop but i DON'T i get deeper and deeper to where
i am sitting in a hospital bed "Thinking". later this year i
tried to hang myself from the ceiling fan... the ceiling fan
falls i am released. my mother gets home (I have hidden the
rope) and starts bitching about the fan i said i was messing
around at it fell of, life goes on. a few weeks later i run away
for a week (Im just in the woods out back). my mom freaks out. i
eventually come back. and then we come to this day im here
writing this post...
THE END.
Sorry mom.
#Post#: 153--------------------------------------------------
Re: My "Story"
By: Jom3es12 Date: July 24, 2013, 7:49 am
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You weighed 97 pounds when you were 12. Wow. that is how much i
weighed. I am 14 now an i weigh around 120-130 pounds...
fixed typo
#Post#: 183--------------------------------------------------
Re: My "Story"
By: MrSovietOnion Date: July 24, 2013, 10:22 am
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Wow, that was deep. This is why I absolutely despise it when
families divorce... so damn selfish. Anyway, don't try suicide
anymore, trust me. I definitely have empathy for you because of
all the depression issues I have, and I promise you that it DOES
get better. It takes time, but it gets better.
#Post#: 269--------------------------------------------------
Re: My "Story"
By: Cool me Date: July 24, 2013, 11:58 am
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Oh god... I hope it's better now..
#Post#: 366--------------------------------------------------
Re: My "Story"
By: Codrew Date: July 24, 2013, 7:33 pm
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We are here for you brotato, but cutting yourself is just
stupid. I have been in a similar position but inflicting harm on
yourself doesn't get rid of any of the other pain. If you really
need a way of coping with your pain, try other methods. I would
hate for Kogama to loose such a good builder and i would not
like to loose a good friend.
#Post#: 381--------------------------------------------------
Re: My "Story"
By: MrSovietOnion Date: July 24, 2013, 8:57 pm
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This thread is making me a bit uneasy and I don't want there to
be any debates or one-up contests, so I'm gonna lock it. You've
done nothing wrong, don't worry; just gonna lock it.
#Post#: 680--------------------------------------------------
Re: My "Story"
By: DevinEngland Date: July 28, 2013, 1:51 pm
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Erm... Actually, I see no need in locking this, and am going to
unlock it. I feel if he felt he needed to share his story here,
then he has the right to, and have it discussed if he wants. I
think we need to warn the users who need the warnings though. So
I'm sorry I disagree with you Soviet, but I'm unlocking this
topic.
#Post#: 709--------------------------------------------------
Re: My "Story"
By: MrSovietOnion Date: July 28, 2013, 7:12 pm
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Yeahhhh, I'm alright with that...
What I'm mainly worried about is, I don't want this to turn into
a self-harm suicide thread, mainly because I'm not equipped to
handle that sort of thing. I don't want debates turning up
either, this is a very serious subject and it just makes me a
bit uneasy allowing it to be floating around in the forums.
I trust all of you guys to an extent, so I won't lock it so long
as you keep it... we'll say, appropriate? Thanks :)
#Post#: 734--------------------------------------------------
Re: My "Story"
By: DevinEngland Date: July 28, 2013, 10:24 pm
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I'll make it my duty to moderate this topic, and if it gets out
of hand, I'll take care of it.
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