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       #Post#: 29--------------------------------------------------
       Merlot
   DIR By: merlot
       Date: December 24, 2018, 2:20 pm
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       Hello!  So, I'm not really sure what to say or where to begin.
       This is mostly going to be word vomit.  I work in a job for an
       organization that I really just don't like or care about.  I
       have been with this group for almost 30 years and doing the same
       job for almost 25.  The last couple of years I have been
       teetering on the edge of quitting and running away.  I had been
       seeing a therapist for just over 5 years.  I think it helped.
       It was good to be able to empty my brain that I spend way to
       much time in.  Over a year ago I started taking prozac to help
       my brain settle.  I guess it worked.  I was able to sell my
       house and purchase a new RV motorhome that I live in with my
       dog, Jasper.  The next step I took was taking a transfer for my
       job from Charlotte, NC to El Paso, TX.  I've been here since
       October and I really like the area.  I still don't care about my
       job, but I do it to the best of my ability.  I honestly have no
       idea what I want to do for a job/career.  Sadly I make good
       money and have great benefits.  I am currently about 230lbs.
       While the number doesn't really mean anything to me, it has to
       be stated.  I don't exercise or eat in a way that fuels my body
       or makes me feel "good."  As the year is winding down and it's
       time to think about 2019 and goals and such, I find myself
       saying "I don't care!"  And during the process of overanalyzing
       I have come to realize what exactly that means.  I don't care
       what I "should" be doing according to the "world".  I don't care
       what everyone else is doing.  Because I spent way, way too much
       time worrying about what I should be doing/eating/being that I
       have come to not care about myself.  I have never truly "lived"
       the way I feel in my heart and soul that I am meant to.  I have
       also admitted to myself that I need people in my daily life that
       I can be active with.  As adults, it's always harder to make new
       friends.  With my job, it makes it even harder for me.  I don't
       work M-F, 9-5.  And when I am given a schedule for 1-2 weeks, it
       seems to change quickly.  I know this and use it as a major
       excuse to not care about me.
       Please don't be offended if I don't comment on every post.  I
       will also say in a way that I hope folks can understand, some
       days I just don't have it in me to be interactive with anyone.
       I am muddling through this day by day.
       #Post#: 35--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Merlot
   DIR By: alienjenn
       Date: December 24, 2018, 3:04 pm
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       --- Quote from: merlot link ---
       >
       > Hello!
       > /snip/
       >
       > Please don't be offended if I don't comment on every post.  I
       will also say in a way that I hope folks can understand, some
       days I just don't have it in me to be interactive with anyone.
       I am muddling through this day by day.
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       Oh honey
       There isn't a comment requirement. You are here and we love you
       and are super glad you are here.
       If you just want to interact on your OWN posts, I absolutely
       understand!
       I think you have some awesome plans here. If you want to get
       together (through chat or phone or anything) let me know. Maybe
       we can take a look at your career options or whatever. You had a
       BIG 2018. And I know that not all of it was awesome. Let's chat.
       About the "shoulds", ABSOLUTELY don't worry about what you
       SHOULD do according to the world. I firmly believe that every
       individual is just that. INDIVIDUAL!! There is no "one size fits
       all". Your plan should be specific to you!
       I hope Jasper is doing well?
       #Post#: 90--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Merlot
   DIR By: Wyntyr
       Date: January 15, 2019, 11:04 pm
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       Hey!
       How are you and Jasper doing?
       I know as odd as it may sound, but I enjoyed living in a car for
       a few months and RV camping/nomadic life is cool!
       We don’t expect every day or every post. Do what makes you feel
       good!
       I hope you find what makes your heart and soul sing and brings
       happiness to you. [emoji3590]
       Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
       #Post#: 104--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Merlot
   DIR By: alienjenn
       Date: February 7, 2019, 11:20 pm
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       So excited to see you and Jasper tomorrow!!!!
       Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk
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