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Joy in the Mourning - Healing from Grief
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How's Your Heart Today?
DIR By: BarbaraEKompik
Date: January 26, 2020, 11:57 pm
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Let me tell you a story about my son.
Dale came to me when he was in high school with a grave concern.
He confided in me that he had been saying hello to all of his
friends first and was getting discouraged because when he
stopped taking that initiative, no one took the time to say
hello to him first.
I listened very carefully and intently to my son. And then I
told him,
"Dalez, I understand exactly how you feel because I experienced
the very same thing back when I was in college. I had many
friends that I loved and I thought loved me too.
But I got discouraged too by saying hi first all the time and
not having them say hi first to me. So I decided to stop saying
hi first to try an experiment.
Just like you described, people did not say hi to me at all. I
felt very bad about myself and that there must be something
wrong with me.
That was a terrible horrible very bad feeling.
And so I pondered it for a long time. And I believe that God
brought me to this conclusion:
People, by nature, are very fearful creatures. Also, the vast
majority of people are followers. There are only a minority of
leaders.
People will not say hi first because they are afraid . Afraid
of rejection. They are followers.
So you have a choice to make. You can either be a follower and
feel bad because people don't say hi first, or you can be a
leader and you say hi first, no matter what. You will change
the lives of people around you by this one simple act."
Dale listened carefully and intently to the wisdom of his
mother. And he pondered it in his heart.
A few years later, Dale became deathly ill. He had contracted
pneumonia, which turned septic. Two days after entering ER, the
doctors had to amputate his right lung. His prognosis was not
good. He was sedated heavily and paralyzed completely. We sat
by his side and held his hand, stroked his hair, played music,
and prayed for him constantly, day in and day out.
Days turned to weeks of my son in this condition, unable to
communicate to us.
Two weeks later, the doctors amputated both of his legs at the
knees in a massive attempt to save him. He was so sick.
And the people began to come to visit him, hoping beyond hope
that he would pull through. Pretty soon, there literally were
hundreds of people lining the walls to room to come and pray for
him. We knew no one. These were all of Dale's friends.
We began to talk to these strangers and the thread of similarly
among them all was becoming very evident.
Their stories, all very personal, all very similar, all very
touching. They told us of Dale buying them cups of coffee at
the local coffee shops by introducing himself and asking them,
"How's your heart today?"
Then proceeded to sit with them and chat with them about their
life struggles, praying and also prophesying over them, sharing
Jesus and his love.
Over and over we heard the stories of how he touched lives,
impacting them for an eternity. We heard how he helped the
homeless on the street,took their vitals to make sure they were
ok, providing food and blankets to them. And how he would take
his meager earnings and give selflessly for refugee kids to go
to a Christian summer camp. People came from around the
country, from Washington state to Kentucky, to pray earnestly
for their precious friend.
The stories were endless. And they moved us to tears.
Dale died five weeks into the hospital, even though he fought
hard to stay with us. He simply could not tackle the other two
cases of sepsis he had contracted. He just didn't have the
strength to overcome them.
On December 19, 2017, our broken little family sobbed into each
other's shoulders as we huddled into a tight little circle in
that hospital hall, as we said our goodbyes to the son and
brother we loved and adored.
Four days later, we planned a Celebration of Life service for
our darling son, at The Point Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
The church was already packed when we arrived. There were
people continuing to fill the space. Cars lined the road for a
mile, waiting to get into the church. Inside, we decided to let
them all come and wait for everyone to find a place to sit, or
stand, lining the entire space within the church. Folks had to
sit on the floor at the foot of the stage to find a spot to pay
their last respects to their friend. It was amazing to see just
a glimpse of the people Dale had made an impact on.
Not only did his story reached around the country, but it hit
international news also in People Magazine.(people.com. Search:
Dale Kompik)
As we await for his headstone to arrive, two years after his
death, we decided to create a public memorial garden to honor
and remember Dale. It will be situated on our 3 acres of land,
and will provide a spot for people to come and remember Dale,
walk the path through the woods, and enjoy the quiet beauty of
the garden or sit in the rocking chairs on the porch.
We miss our Dale every single day. It is our hope that we can
pick up the baton he left for all who knew him, and simply say
hi first to friends and strangers, and offer the question,
"How's your heart today?"
We love you, Dale Wayne Kompik II.
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