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#Post#: 24189--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: jentybhullar Date: September 26, 2016, 3:00 am
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I really don't know what to do.. it feels there is nothing to
do.. but if I do nothing, I can feel the mind creeping in and
taking claim again. It has been running even more wilder than
before and it has become harder to catch in action. It feels
like I am back to square one.. hmm I will keep trying what I was
doing before (feeling presence) and will report back.
#Post#: 24194--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: Jed McKenna Date: September 26, 2016, 6:20 am
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Talk soon..
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 24660--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: jentybhullar Date: October 25, 2016, 3:05 am
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Hi Jed, I've been reading this book about direct pointing, to
see how there is no "You" in you.. and how I don't exist... and
finally had a breakthrough.. I saw how everything was just
happening.. by itself.. yet no one there.. not me, no one else..
nothing.. and all was just ONE thing going on.. lol.. I think it
was a quick glimpse... however this "I" has come back. I am not
sure if I should keep doing "Being/Presence" practice or
"Contemplation" and keep trying to find/lose the "I"... or may
be both through out the day. F*** i feel like there is nothing I
can do, since it doesn't exist... but the sense of I is still
there.. and now another "I" is resisting this sense of "I"..
arrgghh... MINDDD JUST F*** OFF!!!!
Love ya.
#Post#: 24663--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: Jed McKenna Date: October 25, 2016, 6:29 am
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Do whatever you (think) you feel like doing. Just don't try to
repeat any experience. That's important and not easy.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 24674--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: jentybhullar Date: October 25, 2016, 5:42 pm
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Thanks Jed. Further I go....
#Post#: 24689--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: Jed McKenna Date: October 26, 2016, 2:41 am
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;) ;) ;)
#Post#: 38139--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: jentybhullar Date: May 19, 2019, 3:17 am
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Hi Jed,
Sorry to resurrect a dead post. Just went through my last posts
and.. oh boy.. how far have I come, and how much I am still at
the same place.
I only have one, and one confusion left. I have seen through the
illusion of the self. I know there is no such thing as a me.
There never was, there never will be. There is just THIS!, just
THIS!, that which can not be transmitted in words. I have seen
it.
Everytime I wake up from this dream, the mind comes back,
whether a minute, an hour, or few hours later, and poof! I am
back in the dream.
Since then, I've had so many insights. I know everything is just
my imagination, EVERYTHING!!!
I have seen that I don't exist and yet I am the only thing that
there is.. talk about paradoxes right?
I know what I've been looking for is the one looking at
everything.. even awareness and consciousness. I am beyond them
both.. I am that which looks at every single thing.
All delusions are gone, and I know that I know nothing!! I know
absolutely nothing.
So my last delusion is this: When you truly see that there is no
you, you see the truth as it is. Are you always suppose to be
seeing the same truth all the time, or do you come back from
that and there is a forever letting go till the day you die? Was
that a glimpse of death? My mind thinks that it should always be
"without self" and I should always be in that moment. I just
don't know.. I just can't stop chasing that.
#Post#: 38140--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: Jed McKenna Date: May 19, 2019, 6:15 am
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Thanks for your email and sharing. As you have learned, much of
this journey is about embracing paradoxes... mind hates
paradoxes because mind is base on blame and paradox means no
nail down anyone to blame... tsk, tsk, tsk.
My experiences have been that it is quite possible, and perhaps
even desirable, to live in both of these ... . hmm.. arenas...
at the same time. There indeed does appear to be a body and it
does have inclinations and tendencies, so what. That body is
just a collection of survival instincts, memories, fears,
teachings, etc. There is also the ultimate and it has nothing of
the body qualities other than a frame for it's appearance
within... it's ''the '' context.
It can all appear bipolar and in a sense it is... but both
worlds, the dream and the real, can live together in harmony,
and that is the test of how well you handle things... when there
is nothing to handle and no one to handle it. ??? ??? ??? Sounds
impossible and it is, but it can also be done. :o :o :o Put
that in your smoke and pipe it. ::) ::) ::)
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 38153--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: jentybhullar Date: May 20, 2019, 4:25 am
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Thanks Jed. I just keep getting glimpses of waking up from the
dream, but I can't stay awake.
Even this absolute, it's all part of the dream right? I don't
wish to dream anymore, I just want to wake up.
I just want to be absolutely nothing.. just want to be awake.
But it's not easy letting go of this story..
I don't care for infinite expansion, I don't care for this
oneness, I don't care about bliss.. I just want to wake up.
#Post#: 38155--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: Jed McKenna Date: May 20, 2019, 8:30 am
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You are it, just don't realize that yet.
Love ya, Jed.
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