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#Post#: 22485--------------------------------------------------
The Long Journey
By: jentybhullar Date: July 5, 2016, 11:54 pm
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Hi Jed, how are you? I am a long time reader of your work, but
recently found out about this forum. I emailed you few years
back where I compared my spiritual journey to a car with dead
battery, I keep holding the key in ignition to Start. It feels
like the car is about to start but never quite does so. Some
times I feel like sitting and meditating, quieting my mind and
being aware and it feels like I can sit like this for eternity
of time, other times even a moment of doing this dreads me.
There are times a strong force pushes me towards my spiritual
journey, this force can last from days to weeks to months, and
then I am back into the world engaged in Maya. This force comes
and goes at random. I do not know what this force is that pushes
me, just a strong inner feeling that I have to do this, there is
no more time left, this is it, this is it. In the last few
weeks, I've had an experience twice when going to bed at night.
My body was falling asleep, but I was awake, I was experiencing
the body falling into sleep, and I have never felt death any
closer than I did at those moments. I was scared, I wanted to
wake up, but also wanted to die in that sleep, not physically of
course. I feel the time is running out, not sure what to do. I
have read too many books, listen to too many discourses and many
teachers. I am very scientific minded. I like your style because
you don't add BS like past lives and miracles etc. You say logic
and reason is not a good way on the path to spirituality, while
it may be true, but I believe logic and reason has saved me
countless hours listening to or following bogus teachers. Some
times when even a true teacher starts talking about remembering
his past lives etc., it makes me doubt if even this spirituality
or enlightenment is real or just a fiction of the mind. I would
appreciate any help you can provide for me. What is the fastest
route to enlightenment? I don't care how hard it is to walk upon
it. Time seems to be the only matter to me.
Love you Jed,
Waiting for Self Annihilation.
#Post#: 22488--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 6, 2016, 12:24 am
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Dear Anon:
Thank you for you post and welcome to the forum. You sound a
little vague, but no problem.
I happen to agree with you in that, at least on the human scale
of things, time is running out. It does't matter in the least
because it's similar to the browning leaves of autumn. Just and
experience in the human domain and experiences are like passing
clouds. And, I happen to agree with all the past life, miracles
and the like. Just more human toys to distract children.
You want the fasted way to T/R... if you are meant to get it
right now you will... ::) ::) ::) so, did you get it? :P :P :P
I assume not as you are still reading this. So, the fastest way
to get 'it' is to give up completely, to on a seeking fast. Stop
seeking anything. Just relax and breathe. Experience what is in
front of you right now.
Bet you can't do it... ??? ??? ???
Love ya, Jed
P.S. there are other ways.
#Post#: 22490--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: jentybhullar Date: July 6, 2016, 12:48 am
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Thanks Jed!. No I didn't get it, but your words did hit my mind
like a lightening strike, it went so blank for few seconds that
I could hear my heartbeat. I am trying to do as you said, just
relaxing and breathing. I am at work, sitting in front of the
computer screen. I feel like just sitting here and doing
absolutely nothing at all. Just staring at the screen, but focus
is on being aware of whoever it is looking through my eyes.
Hmm.. it has a kind of pleasant and satisfactory feeling to it.
Wish I could just sit here without worrying about my boss coming
past and asking me how much work has been done, or worrying
about getting the errands done which I need to do before picking
up my wife and making sure I am not late. How can I just sit
here in peace without worrying about outside factors affecting
me? Without looking out of the corner of my eyes for my boss and
looking at the time every few minutes? My mind can not be quiet
and do these things at the same time.
Love,
#Post#: 22491--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 6, 2016, 1:15 am
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Work when working, meditate when meditating.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 22591--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: jentybhullar Date: July 9, 2016, 10:36 pm
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Hi Jed, how are you? Can you please tell me the basic definition
of human adulthood? Over the years, I have tried to dis-engage
myself from myself, my emotions, my actions, my thoughts and my
feelings. I try to see things from 3rd person perspective, but
sometimes this can be hard during arguments. Some times I try to
see things from 3rd perspective after the situation has took
place. I judge myself and my actions just as I judge other
people, and try to see things from their point of view as well.
I try to see my emotions rise and fall. Is this human adulthood?
If it is, then it's not something I worked to get here, it is a
result of listening to OSHO and other great teachers and also
trying to be aware of myself. I am usually an easy going guy and
comfortable in most situations and environments, but I am also a
very lazy person. I would rather sleep or sit in a chair and do
nothing or sit on my computer and read articles or watch videos.
I am a knowledge freak and very curious guy. I like to learn and
accumulate knowledge, is this a hindrance for my path to
spirituality? I don't really see the point of anything worth
doing. I don't really wish to die, but there is no more desire
to live anymore either, and the only way I see is truth
realization. That's why I feel that the time is running out and
desire for living just keeps diminishing as well. I am afraid of
what might become of me if truth realization doesn't come any
sooner. Can you please help me giving some direction? Please
don't take it easy on me, if you want to criticise me anyway, I
would happily accept it. I prefer honesty and truth. Thanks Jed.
Love you.
Regards,
#Post#: 22599--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 9, 2016, 11:35 pm
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Dear Anon:
Your questions are good. But you are wasting your time. Like so
many folks you are hiding, playing it safe, afraid of living,
seeking knowledge that you think will free you up, turn you into
a something.
You have a space suit and certain tendencies come with that.
Don't worry about spiritual baffle gab and NABS, what are you
afraid of? You don't need to know why, and any answer you get
you should discard. Forget about who am I, go for 'what am I
afraid of'. DO NOT TRY TO RATIONALIZE THE ANSWER. That's just
more brain b.s. and you have plenty of that.
H/A to you is finding out what you are afraid of, and then what
more you are afraid of , and on and on.
Love ya, Jed
#Post#: 22692--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: jentybhullar Date: July 13, 2016, 11:18 pm
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Hi Jed, well other than heights, I am afraid of people knowing
the real me (from ego perspective). Some secrets and emotions,
which may make me look weak in eyes of the other, I am afraid to
show them to others. I am afraid of failure to achieve TR. I am
afraid to even tell people that I am chasing TR. I want to
appear normal in front of others, but want to keep these things
personal... may be that's the word I should use.. "Personal"
rather than "Real me"... I am a very personal person.. hmm.. any
way to blow a hole in this spacesuit which can suck this person
out of it, so that only emptiness remains inside? Thanks Jed.
One Love.
#Post#: 22696--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 14, 2016, 12:30 am
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What if all you had to do was decide? Decide to let go of
wanting control (you ain't got it anyways), wanting to be loved
and accepted (there is no one out there to do that, it's all
you) and wanting to survive (I guarantee that your ego and body
won't, anything that was born dies, the real you is unborn and
hence never dies).
So, what are you wasting your time for... just decide, RIGHT
NOW!
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 22723--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: jentybhullar Date: July 15, 2016, 1:02 am
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Hi Jed, thanks. I have decided :). Something got stuck with me
a while ago what adyashanti said in one of his videos. He said
something along the lines of "Try to be aware of that which is
looking through your eyes". Then in another video he said
something like "what you are is not even consciousness,what you
are is even beyond that". When I try to go beyond that, to see
what is even aware of this consciousness, I feel like there is a
black hole, some kind of void. I don't have any questions at the
moment.
#Post#: 22724--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Long Journey
By: Jed McKenna Date: July 15, 2016, 3:20 am
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:o :o :o :o 8)
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