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#Post#: 6755--------------------------------------------------
Re: meaningless
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: December 18, 2014, 12:11 pm
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I don't see a problem with that... ???
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 6756--------------------------------------------------
Re: meaningless
DIR By: guest98
Date: December 18, 2014, 12:27 pm
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The main reason I've been contemplating getting help was because
I don't want to stay stuck like this for too long.
I'm staying with my mom for 3 weeks for the holidays. I haven't
seen her for 2 years.
Seeing how she is now helped me understand why I am the way that
I am. I am so much like her in some ways and very opposite in
other ways. I inherited her bad traits but not her good traits.
Being with her the last couple days made me realize how deep
this pain goes, how many challenges I have to walk through. This
just seems like an endless abyss of nastiness. And I don't see
how I can ever enjoy life unless some of this clears up.
#Post#: 6757--------------------------------------------------
Re: meaningless
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: December 18, 2014, 12:52 pm
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Dear Ivory:
It's a bit of a drone by now, but the Nav Series has an
extensive section that will assist you in handling these thing,
but it won't be out for about ten days. I am working on it as
fast as I can.
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 6758--------------------------------------------------
Re: meaningless
DIR By: guest98
Date: December 18, 2014, 2:21 pm
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Okay, I marked it on my calendar.
I don't know if there's any point in saying this.
I just wish I could function better. I'm inconsistent, unable to
communicate clearly, and unable to focus. It's embarrassing and
has been a huge source of self-judgement.
The self-judgement is the worst. I have felt like the biggest
pice of s*** for longer than I can remember now. I just want it
to end.
I can't control any of it, but damn. It's all just a big mess.
#Post#: 6773--------------------------------------------------
Re: meaningless
DIR By: guest98
Date: December 18, 2014, 10:01 pm
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Okay, damn. I feel silly.
I've reached equanimity again. Happy. Content. Grateful.
I still don't understand what makes me oscillate back and forth
between delusion and equanimity.
Are you familiar with Daniel Ingram's DNOTS map: Fear -> misery
-> disgust -> re-observation -> equanimity?
Curious if you're navigator series is comparable.
#Post#: 6774--------------------------------------------------
Re: meaningless
DIR By: guest98
Date: December 19, 2014, 12:19 am
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Hmm... So the content of thought isn't really relevant. It's
just a matter of noticing the patterns as they arise (the
critic, the victim, the h0rny guy, mr. angry, the one who
insists on being free, etc.). Correct?
I mean, I would like to be free of these thoughts all together.
But, the momentum is strong. Perhaps I just need to make friends
with them while they are still here.
Let the clouds come and go.
Yes?
(PS. Excuse me if I repeat some questions, I'm not sure on some
of these things yet and it can be a bit difficult to remember
insights).
#Post#: 6775--------------------------------------------------
Re: meaningless
DIR By: guest98
Date: December 19, 2014, 12:21 am
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One of the other questions I've had for a while is if it's
actually necessary to look for a "me".
Or if it's adequate to feel emotion and note thoughts?
Is there something special about looking for a me? Or is
objectifying enough?
#Post#: 6798--------------------------------------------------
Re: meaningless
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: December 19, 2014, 6:47 am
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The momentum of your thoughts is really the importances you have
attached to them.
My mind glazes over at your last two questions. Especially
objectifying. What do you mean?
Love ya, Jed.
#Post#: 6823--------------------------------------------------
Re: meaningless
DIR By: guest98
Date: December 19, 2014, 9:28 am
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--- Quote from: Jed McKenna link ---
>
> The momentum of your thoughts is really the importances you
have attached to them.
--- End Quote ---
Whoa! This is important.
The story I've been telling myself is that I have a lot of stuff
to work through.
The emotional charge (fear, pain, self-judgement) that's been
surfacing was evidence to support that belief.
Are you saying that that's just a belief? And that the surfacing
of that charge is a result of that belief?
Perhaps you can elaborate. If you could pick your brain right
now it may save us both a lot of time and headache.
By 'momentum', I was referring to the constant influx of
emotion. Is that what you're referring to also? And how does one
place importance on thoughts?
Just want to make sure we're on the same page.
--- Quote from: Jed McKenna link ---
> My mind glazes over at your last two questions. Especially
objectifying. What do you mean?
--- End Quote ---
I'll come back to this after we discuss that last question.
(Sorry, I've been firing off too many questions. It's time to be
precise.).
#Post#: 6825--------------------------------------------------
Re: meaningless
DIR By: Jed McKenna
Date: December 19, 2014, 10:12 am
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What is the difference between one thought and another?
Love ya, Jed.
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